******* Rafi ORACLE DBA & APPS DBA Blog*******: RMAN backup types and Usage#comment-form

******* Rafi ORACLE DBA & APPS DBA Blog*******: RMAN backup types and Usage#comment-form

Assalamo Alaikum




Very nice explanation. Thanks for it.



Can you provide me how schedule the RMAN hot backup in Linux.



Thank you very much

God is One
As a Doctor of Medicine, and a descendant of a French Catholic family, the very choice of my profession has given me a solid scientific culture which had prepared me very little for a mystic life. Not that I did not believe in God, but that the dogmas and rites of Christianity in general and of Catholicism in particular never permitted me to feel His presence. Thus my unitary sentiment for God forbade my accepting the dogma of the Trinity, and consequently of the Divinity of Jesus Christ.
Without yet knowing Islam, I was already believing in the first part of the Kalima, La ilah illa 'Allah (There is no deity but Allah), and in these verses of the Qur'an:

Sura 112 - Al-Ikhlas [Sincerity] Verse 1-4:
1. قُلْ هُوَ اللَّهُ أَحَدٌ
2. اللَّهُ الصَّمَدُ
3. لَمْ يَلِدْ وَلَمْ يُولَدْ
4. وَلَمْ يَكُنْ لَهُ كُفُوًا أَحَدٌ

Sura 112 - Al-Ikhlas [Sincerity] Verse 1-4:
1. Say: He is Allah, the One and Only;
2. Allah, the Eternal, Absolute;
3. He begetteth not, nor is He begotten;
4. And there is none like unto Him.

So, it was first of all for metaphysical reasons that I adhered to Islam. Other reasons, too, prompted me to do that. For instance, my refusal to accept Catholic priests, who, more or less, claim to possess on behalf of God the power of forgiving the sins of men. Further, I could never admit the Catholic rite of Communion, by means of the host (or holy bread), representing the body of Jesus Christ, a rite which seems to me to belong to totemistic practices of primitive peoples, where the body of the ancestral totem, the taboo of the living ones, had to be consumed after his death, in order better to assimilate his personality. Another point which moved me away from Christianity was the absolute silence which it maintains regarding bodily cleanliness, particularly before prayers, which has always seemed to me to be an outrage against God. For if He has given us a soul, He has also given us a body, which we have no right to neglect. The same silence could be observed, and this time mixed with hostility with regard to the physiological life of the human being, whereas on this point Islam seemed to me to be the only religion in accord with human nature.

The essential and definite element of my conversion to Islam was the Qur'an. I began to study it, before my conversion, with the critical spirit of a Western intellectual, and I owe much to the magnificent work of Mr. Malek Bennabi, entitled Le Phenomene Coranique, which convinced me of its being divinely revealed. There are certain verses of this book, the Qur'an, revealed more than thirteen centuries ago, which teach exactly the same notions as the most modern scientific researchers do. This definitely convinced me, and converted me to the second part of the Kalima, 'Muhammad Rasul 'Allah' (Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah).

This was my reason for presenting myself on 20th February 1953 at the mosque in Paris, where I declared my faith in Islam and was registered there as a Muslim by the Mufti of the Paris Mosque, and was given the Islamic name of 'Ali Selman'.

I am very happy in my new faith, and proclaim once again:

"I bear witness that there is no deity but Allah, and I bear witness that Muhammad is Allah's servant and Messenger."


What is Peace
[ Al - Quran - 59.23 ]

He is Allah, besides Whom there is no god; the King, the Holy, the Giver of peace, the Granter of security, Guardian over all, the Mighty, the Supreme, the Possessor of every greatness Glory be to Allah from what they set up (with Him).

Peace is something that everyone wants probably more than anything else. Yet since time began, this world has never known true peace. With all the technological advances that have profoundly changed the way we live, we still have not found a workable formula.

Yes, we can produce a long list of steps that can be taken to promote peace. The list includes education, communication, understanding, economic assistance, negotiation, statesmanship, treaties, protocols and other government mechanisms to minimize friction and resolve disputes. However, we know from unfortunate experience that these approaches do not always succeed.

There is another major force for peace, and I am personally convinced through the lessons of history, witnessed by science and confirmed by culture that beacon of hope. It is a force which offers civilization the best hope for wide-spread and lasting accord around the globe. Islam, the only solution to world peace.

‘Challenge your soul’ is the expressions we used to reflect man’s search and need for ‘inner’ peace, happiness and tranquility. This translates in ones pursuit of the worldly gratifications, such as money, power, wealth and recognition. For them it is not just a choice a life-style but a system of life, hence becomes religion. For others, such gratifications can be had from seeking a meaning, understanding and conviction of the purpose of life. Their quest usually takes them to acknowledging a divine order and the pursuit to please “The Supreme and Guardian over all” in hope of a time immortal with everlasting, happiness and tranquility. For them this is not only a choice of a system of life but also preference of a life-style.

Islam, is both a system of life and a choice of life-style, it offers both the promise of a true success in life and answering the question of the purpose of life. If offers peace, happiness and tranquility both in this life and life after death, a time that is eternal. Islam also offers peace in all aspects of the person and their relationships. Peace in their relationship with God, family, friends, community, government. It covers the harmony in all areas and faculty of our lives.

The word Islam, translates from Arabic as peace and it is the very essence of peace. So why have Islam today become synonyms with war, conflict, violence, intolerance, repression and poverty. This because Islam is the best product with Muslims who are the worst sales men.
Islam has never before been under so much scrutiny, attack and negative press, yet why today more people coming to Islam than ever before. This is also because of something profound, Islam is beautiful, perfect and has divine protection so it can’t ever be tarnished. The honey bee shall always go to the nectar regardless of which direction the wind is blowing. With all the technological, scientific and multimedia advances, Islam today lacks a fair and adequate platform and Muslim’s lack the presentations, charisma and wisdom. This inequality between the gross exposure of Islam and the true representation of Islam needs to addressed and rebalanced. Only then will Islam be the treasure uncovered and who in this world does not want to inherit the real treasure.
Meaning of Life
Growing up in a supposedly Christian, but in fact non-religious family, I never heard the name of God being uttered, I never saw anyone pray and I learned early on that the only reason for doing things was to benefit yourself. We celebrated Christmas, Easter, Mid-summer and All Saints Day and even though I never knew why, I never questioned it. It was part of being Swedish. As a Christian (protestant) you can go through something called confirmation when you are about 15 years of age. This is meant to be a class to take to learn about your religion and then confirm your belief. I wanted to do this to learn about Christianity so I was signed up for this 3-week camp which was a combined golf-and confirmation camp. In the mornings we had classes with a senile priest and our thoughts wandered off to the upcoming game of golf. I didn't learn anything.
I went through high-school with a breeze. I felt that nothing could harm me. My grades were the best possible and my self confidence was at the top. Religion never came to my mind. I was doing just fine. Everyone I knew that was "religious" had found "the light" after being either depressed or very sick and they said that they needed Jesus in their life to be able to live on. I felt that I could do anything that I put my mind to and that religion only was an excuse to hide from reality.

In college, I started thinking about the meaning of life. I had a hard time accepting any religion because of all the wars and problems relating to them. I made up my own philosophy. I was convinced that some form of power created everything but I couldn't say that it was God. God for me was the Christian image of an old man with a long white beard and I knew that an old man could not have created the universe! I believed in a life after death because I just couldn't believe that justice wouldn't be served. I also believed that everything happens for a reason. Due to my background and schooling I was fooled to believe in Darwin's theory, since it is taught as a fact. The more I thought about the meaning of life, the more depressed I became, and I felt that this life is like a prison. I lost most of my appetite for life.

I knew a lot about Buddhism and Hinduism since I was interested in these things in school. We learned in detail about their way of thinking and worship. I didn't know anything about Islam. I remember my high-school text book in Religion showing how Muslims pray. It was like a cartoon strip to show the movements but I didn't learn about the belief. I was fed all the propaganda through mass media and I was convinced that all Muslim men oppressed their wives and hit their children. They were all violent and didn't hesitate to kill.

In my last year of college I had a big passion for science and I was ready to hit the working scene. An international career or at least some international experience was needed to improve my English and get an advantage over fellow job hunters. I ended up in Boston and was faced with four Muslims. At that point I didn't know who Muhammad was and I didn't know that Allah was the same god as "God". I started asking questions and reading books, but most importantly, I started socializing with Muslims. I never had any friends from another country before (let alone another religion). All the people that I knew were Swedish. The Muslims that I met were wonderful people. They accepted me right away and they never forced anything on me. They were more generous to me than my own family. Islam seemed to be a good system of life and I acknowledged the structure and stability it provided but I was not convinced it was for me.

One of my problems was that science contradicted religion (at least from what I knew about Christianity). I read the book "The Bible, The Quran and Science" by Maurice Bucaille and all of my scientific questions were answered! Here was a religion that was in line with modern science. I felt excited but it was still not in my heart.

I had a period of brain storming when I was thinking over all the new things I learnt. I felt my heart softening and I tried to imagine a life as a Muslim. I saw a humble life full of honesty, generosity, stability, peace, respect and kindness. Most of all I saw a life with a MEANING. I knew I had to let go of my ego and humble myself before something much more powerful than myself.

Twice, I was asked the question "What is stopping you from becoming Muslim?". The first time I panicked and my brain was blocked. The second time I thought for awhile to come up with any excuse. There was none so I said the shahada, Al-Hamdulillah.

Christian to Muslim
My first seventeen years have been a bit different than the youth experienced by most Americans. I grew up on an extremely rural goat ranch in Western Riverside County, California, where my family raises on average 150 to 200 animals for milk, cheese, and meat. My father is a halal butcher [a butcher who slaughters in an Islamic manner -ed.] and supplies to an Islamic Food Mart a few blocks from the Islamic Center in downtown Los Angeles.
My father was raised agnostic or atheist, but he became a believer in One God when he picked up a Bible left on the beach. He once had a number of Muslim friends, but they've all moved out of California now. My mother was raised Catholic, so she leans towards Christianity (although she, like my father, disregards the Trinity). I and my siblings were/are home-schooled, and as you may know, most home-school families are Christian. In the last 8 or so years, we have been involved with some home-schooling support groups, thus acquainting me with fundamentalist Christianity. It was an eye-opening experience. Setting aside the blind dogmatism and charismatic wackiness, it was quite a shock to me when I realized that these people, in their prayers, were actually praying TO JESUS. You see, I had always believed that Jesus (pbuh) was, at the very most, the Son of God (since that is what the Bible mistranslates "Servant of God" as). As I learned that belief in the Trinity, something I find absolutely ridiculous, is considered by most Christians to be a prerequisite for salvation, I gradually realized I could not be a Christian.

In the meantime, I had become obsessed with demonic Heavy Metal music, something the rest of my family (as I now realize, rightfully so) was not happy with. My entire life was focused on expanding my music collection. I eschewed personal cleanliness and let my room reach an unbelievable state of disarray. My relationship with my parents became strained, although only intermittently so. I am sorry even as I write this.

Earlier this year, I began to listen to the apocalyptic ramblings of Christian radio's "prophecy experts." Their paranoid espousal of various conspiracy theories, rabid support of Israel and religious Zionism, and fiery preaching about the "Islamic Threat" held for me a strange fascination. Why? Well, I suppose it was simply the need I was feeling to fill that void I had created for myself. In any case, I soon found that the beliefs these evangelists held, such as Original Sin and the Infallibility of "God's Word", were not in agreement with my theological ideas (not to mention the Bible) and I began to look for something else to hold onto.

The turning point, perhaps, was when I moved in with my grandparents here in Santa Ana, the county seat of Orange, California. My grandmother, a computer whiz, is hooked up to America Online and I have been scooting the information superhighway since January. But when I moved in, with the intent of finding a job (easier said than done), I begin to visit the religion folders on AOL and the Usenet newsgroups, where I found discussions on Islam to be the most intriguing. You see, I discovered that the beliefs and practices of this religion fit my personal theology and intellect as well as basic human logic. Islam presents God not as an anthropomorphic being but as an entity beyond human comprehension, transcendent of man, independant and undivided. Islam has a holy book that is comprehensible to a layman, and there is no papacy or priesthood that is considered infallible in matters of interpretation: all Muslims are free to reflect and interpret the book given a sufficient education. Islam does not believe that all men are doomed to Hell unless they simply accept that God (apparently unable to forgive otherwise) magnanimously allowed Himself to be tortured on a cross to enable Him to forgive all human beings who just believe that He allowed Himself to be tortured on a cross... Islam does not believe in a Chosen Race. And on and on...

As I began reading English translations of the Qur'an, I became more and more convinced of the truth and authenticity of Allah's teachings contained in those 114 chapters. Having been around Muslims in my formative years, I knew well that they were not the bloodthirsty, barbaric terrorists that the news media and the televangelists paint them to be. Perhaps this knowledge led me to continue my personal research further than another person would have. I can't say when I actually decided that Islam was for me. It was really a natural progression. In any case, last week [November 1995 -ed.]I went to the Islamic Society of Orange County in Garden Grove and told the brother in charge of the library I wanted to be a Muslim. He gave me some excellent reading material, and last Friday I took Shahada [accepted the creed of Islam -ed.]in front of a packed masjid. I have spent this week learning to perform Salat and reflecting on the greatness of Allah. It feels great to be a Muslim! Subhaana rabbiyal 'azeem!




The Religion of Truth
All I have to say is all what you know already, to confirm what you already know, the message of the Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam"peace be upon him") as given by God - the Religion of Truth. As human beings we are given a consciousness and a duty that has placed us at the top of creation. Man is created to be God's deputy on earth, and it is important to realize the obligation to rid ourselves of all illusions and to make our lives a preparation for the next life. Anybody who misses this chance is not likely to be given another, to be brought back again and again, because it says in Qur'an Majeed that when man is brought to account, he will say, "O Lord, send us back and give us another chance." The Lord will say, "If I send you back you will do the same."
MY EARLY RELIGIOUS UPBRINGING

I was brought up in the modern world of all the luxury and the high life of show business. I was born in a Christian home, but we know that every child is born in his original nature - it is only his parents that turn him to this or that religion. I was given this religion (Christianity) and thought this way. I was taught that God exists, but there was no direct contact with God, so we had to make contact with Him through Jesus - he was in fact the door to God. This was more or less accepted by me, but I did not swallow it all.

I looked at some of the statues of Jesus; they were just stones with no life. And when they said that God is three, I was puzzled even more but could not argue. I more or less believed it, because I had to have respect for the faith of my parents.

POP STAR

Gradually I became alienated from this religious upbringing. I started making music. I wanted to be a big star. All those things I saw in the films and on the media took hold of me, and perhaps I thought this was my God, the goal of making money. I had an uncle who had a beautiful car. "Well," I said, "he has it made. He has a lot of money." The people around me influenced me to think that this was it; this world was their God.

I decided then that this was the life for me; to make a lot of money, have a 'great life.' Now my examples were the pop stars. I started making songs, but deep down I had a feeling for humanity, a feeling that if I became rich I would help the needy. (It says in the Qur'an, we make a promise, but when we make something, we want to hold onto it and become greedy.)

So what happened was that I became very famous. I was still a teenager, my name and photo were splashed in all the media. They made me larger than life, so I wanted to live larger than life and the only way to do that was to be intoxicated (with liquor and drugs).

IN HOSPITAL

After a year of financial success and 'high' living, I became very ill, contracted TB and had to be hospitalized. It was then that I started to think: What was to happen to me? Was I just a body, and my goal in life was merely to satisfy this body? I realized now that this calamity was a blessing given to me by Allah, a chance to open my eyes - "Why am I here? Why am I in bed?" - and I started looking for some of the answers. At that time there was great interest in the Eastern mysticism. I began reading, and the first thing I began to become aware of was death, and that the soul moves on; it does not stop. I felt I was taking the road to bliss and high accomplishment. I started meditating and even became a vegetarian. I now believed in 'peace and flower power,' and this was the general trend. But what I did believe in particular was that I was not just a body. This awareness came to me at the hospital.

One day when I was walking and I was caught in the rain, I began running to the shelter and then I realized, 'Wait a minute, my body is getting wet, my body is telling me I am getting wet.' This made me think of a saying that the body is like a donkey, and it has to be trained where it has to go. Otherwise, the donkey will lead you where it wants to go.

Then I realized I had a will, a God-given gift: follow the will of God. I was fascinated by the new terminology I was learning in the Eastern religion. By now I was fed up with Christianity. I started making music again and this time I started reflecting my own thoughts. I remember the lyric of one of my songs. It goes like this: "I wish I knew, I wish I knew what makes the Heaven, what makes the Hell. Do I get to know You in my bed or some dusty cell while others reach the big hotel?" and I knew I was on the Path.

I also wrote another song, "The Way to Find God Out." I became even more famous in the world of music. I really had a difficult time because I was getting rich and famous, and at the same time, I was sincerely searching for the Truth. Then I came to a stage where I decided that Buddhism is all right and noble, but I was not ready to leave the world. I was too attached to the world and was not prepared to become a monk and to isolate myself from society.

I tried Zen and Ching, numerology, tarot cards and astrology. I tried to look back into the Bible and could not find anything. At this time I did not know anything about Islam, and then, what I regarded as a miracle occurred. My brother had visited the mosque in Jerusalem and was greatly impressed that while on the one hand it throbbed with life (unlike the churches and synagogues which were empty), on the other hand, an atmosphere of peace and tranquillity prevailed.

THE QUR'AN

When he came to London he brought back a translation of the Qur'an, which he gave to me. He did not become a Muslim, but he felt something in this religion, and thought I might find something in it also.

And when I received the book, a guidance that would explain everything to me - who I was; what was the purpose of life; what was the reality and what would be the reality; and where I came from - I realized that this was the true religion; religion not in the sense the West understands it, not the type for only your old age. In the West, whoever wishes to embrace a religion and make it his only way of life is deemed a fanatic. I was not a fanatic, I was at first confused between the body and the soul. Then I realized that the body and soul are not apart and you don't have to go to the mountain to be religious. We must follow the will of God. Then we can rise higher than the angels. The first thing I wanted to do now was to be a Muslim.

I realized that everything belongs to God, that slumber does not overtake Him. He created everything. At this point I began to lose the pride in me, because hereto I had thought the reason I was here was because of my own greatness. But I realized that I did not create myself, and the whole purpose of my being here was to submit to the teaching that has been perfected by the religion we know as Al-Islam. At this point I started discovering my faith. I felt I was a Muslim. On reading the Qur'an, I now realized that all the Prophets sent by God brought the same message. Why then were the Jews and Christians different? I know now how the Jews did not accept Jesus as the Messiah and that they had changed His Word. Even the Christians misunderstand God's Word and called Jesus the son of God. Everything made so much sense. This is the beauty of the Qur'an; it asks you to reflect and reason, and not to worship the sun or moon but the One Who has created everything. The Qur'an asks man to reflect upon the sun and moon and God's creation in general. Do you realize how different the sun is from the moon? They are at varying distances from the earth, yet appear the same size to us; at times one seems to overlap the other.

Even when many of the astronauts go to space, they see the insignificant size of the earth and vastness of space. They become very religious, because they have seen the Signs of Allah.

When I read the Qur'an further, it talked about prayer, kindness and charity. I was not a Muslim yet, but I felt that the only answer for me was the Qur'an, and God had sent it to me, and I kept it a secret. But the Qur'an also speaks on different levels. I began to understand it on another level, where the Qur'an says,

"Those who believe do not take disbelievers for friends and the believers are brothers."

Thus at this point I wished to meet my Muslim brothers.

CONVERSION

Then I decided to journey to Jerusalem (as my brother had done). At Jerusalem, I went to the mosque and sat down. A man asked me what I wanted. I told him I was a Muslim. He asked what was my name. I told him, "Stevens." He was confused. I then joined the prayer, though not so successfully. Back in London, I met a sister called Nafisa. I told her I wanted to embrace Islam and she directed me to the New Regent Mosque. This was in 1977, about one and a half years after I received the Qur'an. Now I realized that I must get rid of my pride, get rid of Iblis, and face one direction. So on a Friday, after Jumma' I went to the Imam and declared my faith (the Kalima) at this hands. You have before you someone who had achieved fame and fortune. But guidance was something that eluded me, no matter how hard I tried, until I was shown the Qur'an. Now I realize I can get in direct contact with God, unlike Christianity or any other religion. As one Hindu lady told me, "You don't understand the Hindus. We believe in one God; we use these objects (idols) to merely concentrate." What she was saying was that in order to reach God, one has to create associates, that are idols for the purpose. But Islam removes all these barriers. The only thing that moves the believers from the disbelievers is the salat. This is the process of purification.

Finally I wish to say that everything I do is for the pleasure of Allah and pray that you gain some inspirations from my experiences. Furthermore, I would like to stress that I did not come into contact with any Muslim before I embraced Islam. I read the Qur'an first and realized that no person is perfect. Islam is perfect, and if we imitate the conduct of the Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) we will be successful. May Allah give us guidance to follow the path of the ummah of Muhammad (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam). Ameen!

-- Yusuf Islam (formerly Cat Stevens)



The Importance of Community in Islam


The idea of Jama’ah in Islam is unique. Islam does not separate the religious aspect of the society from the social and the political aspect. On the contrary, in Islam, all aspects of the society are bound by the discipline, or the dynamic of Shareeah. Sharee’ah is the law, it is the source of empowerment, it is the source of legislation, it is the driving force of the community. Thus, the community is driven (guided) by the Sharee’ah. Every part of it is governed and dependent upon the Sharee’ah. Therefore, the religion is law, and the law is religion.

Sura 3 - Aal-E-Imran [The Family of Imran] Verse 102-105:
102. يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اتَّقُوا اللَّهَ حَقَّ تُقَاتِهِ وَلا تَمُوتُنَّ إِلا وَأَنْتُمْ مُسْلِمُونَ
103. وَاعْتَصِمُوا بِحَبْلِ اللَّهِ جَمِيعًا وَلا تَفَرَّقُوا وَاذْكُرُوا نِعْمَةَ اللَّهِ عَلَيْكُمْ إِذْ كُنْتُمْ أَعْدَاءً فَأَلَّفَ بَيْنَ قُلُوبِكُمْ فَأَصْبَحْتُمْ بِنِعْمَتِهِ إِخْوَانًا وَكُنْتُمْ عَلَى شَفَا حُفْرَةٍ مِنَ النَّارِ فَأَنْقَذَكُمْ مِنْهَا كَذَلِكَ يُبَيِّنُ اللَّهُ لَكُمْ آيَاتِهِ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَهْتَدُونَ
104. وَلْتَكُنْ مِنْكُمْ أُمَّةٌ يَدْعُونَ إِلَى الْخَيْرِ وَيَأْمُرُونَ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَيَنْهَوْنَ عَنِ الْمُنْكَرِ وَأُولَئِكَ هُمُ الْمُفْلِحُونَ
105. وَلا تَكُونُوا كَالَّذِينَ تَفَرَّقُوا وَاخْتَلَفُوا مِنْ بَعْدِ مَا جَاءَهُمُ الْبَيِّنَاتُ وَأُولَئِكَ لَهُمْ عَذَابٌ عَظِيمٌ

Sura 3 - Aal-E-Imran [The Family of Imran] Verse 102-105:
102. O ye who believe! Fear Allah as He should be feared, and die not except in a state of Islam.
103. And hold fast, all together, by the rope which Allah (stretches out for you), and be not divided among yourselves; and remember with gratitude Allah's favour on you; for ye were enemies and He joined your hearts in love, so that by His Grace, ye became brethren; and ye were on the brink of the pit of Fire, and He saved you from it. Thus doth Allah make His Signs clear to you: That ye may be guided.
104. Let there arise out of you a band of people inviting to all that is good, enjoining what is right, and forbidding what is wrong: They are the ones to attain felicity.
105. Be not like those who are divided amongst themselves and fall into disputations after receiving Clear Signs: For them is a dreadful penalty,-


The Jama’ah in Islam is destined to become government. The early Islamic community was not powered simply by empty rituals and words to be recited. It was powered and governed by discipline and order. It had a social and political structure. It had financial and economical accountability. It had a military response and a source of justice.

Imam Nawawi's Forty Hadith #28
It was narrated on the authority of Abu Najih al-Irbad bin Sariyah, radiyallahu 'anhu, who said:
The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, delivered an admonition that made our hearts fearful and our eyes tearful. We said, "O Messenger of Allah, it is as if this were a farewell sermon, so advise us." He said, "I enjoin you to have Taqwa of Allah and that you listen and obey, even if a slave is made a ruler over you. He among you who lives long enough will see many differences. So for you is to observe my Sunnah and the Sunnah of the rightly-principled and rightly-guided successors, holding on to them with your molar teeth. Beware of newly-introduced matters, for every innovation (bid'ah) is an error."


This is what Jama’ah meant in that early community, and this is what Jama’ah means today. Unfortunately, Muslims today are following or practicing a mode of religion as have been dictated to them by historical and cultural conditioning. They are clustered into ethnic groups and isolated geographic communities. They wear Islam only as an external ritual.

Sura 61 - As-Saff [The Ranks, Battle Array] Verse 1-4:
1. سَبَّحَ لِلَّهِ مَا فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَمَا فِي الأرْضِ وَهُوَ الْعَزِيزُ الْحَكِيمُ
2. يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لِمَ تَقُولُونَ مَا لا تَفْعَلُونَ
3. كَبُرَ مَقْتًا عِنْدَ اللَّهِ أَنْ تَقُولُوا مَا لا تَفْعَلُونَ
4. إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُحِبُّ الَّذِينَ يُقَاتِلُونَ فِي سَبِيلِهِ صَفًّا كَأَنَّهُمْ بُنْيَانٌ مَرْصُوصٌ

Sura 61 - As-Saff [The Ranks, Battle Array] Verse 1-4:
1. Whatever is in the heavens and on earth, let it declare the Praises and Glory of Allah: for He is the Exalted in Might, the Wise.
2. O ye who believe! Why say ye that which ye do not?
3. Grievously odious is it in the sight of Allah that ye say that which ye do not.
4. Truly Allah loves those who fight in His Cause in battle array, as if they were a solid cemented structure.


In the Muslim countries, nationalism and secularism are the driving forces of their sovereignty. The Sharee’ah has no practical constitutional significance. In these modern Muslim states, the Islamic concept of Jama’ah is seen as a threat and subjected to brutal suppression.

The Muslims living as minorities in the Western countries are suffering from a very complicated identity crisis. Their organizations are ethnic and culturally driven, with the trappings of Islamic rituals, completely divorced of the discipline of Jama’at.

They have religious leaders and speakers, who have no judicial or political authority over their constituents. These leaders are responded to in the Masjids or at certain events that are “religiously” oriented. However, those leaders exercise little or no influence over the social, political, economic or judicial lives of their congregations.

Yes, we understand that we are living in the Western Civilization, and we need to assimilate and integrate to a certain extent in order to comply and involve ourselves with local citizenship and to fulfil our social responsibility.

However, this should not, and in essence does not, remove or prevent us from distinguishing ourselves as a comprehensive, self contained community. This is what Jama’ah means: A complete, self-contained community, under leadership, discipline and regulated by the Qur’an and the Sunnah.

Imam Nawawi's Forty Hadith #35
Abu Hurairah, radiyallahu 'anhu, reported that the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, said:
"Do not be envious of one another; do not artificially inflate prices against one another; do not hate one another; do not shun one another; and do not undercut one another in business transactions; and be as fellow-brothers and servants of Allah.

A Muslim is the brother of a Muslim. He neither oppresses him nor humiliates him nor looks down upon him. Piety is here - and he pointed to his chest three times. It is evil enough for a Muslim to hold his brother Muslim in contempt. All things of a Muslim are inviolable for another Muslim: his blood, his property and his honour."


Imam Nawawi's Forty Hadith #36
It was related on the authority of Abu Hurairah, radiyallahu 'anhu, that the Prophet, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, said:
"Whosoever relieves from a believer some grief pertaining to this world, Allah will relieve from him some grief pertaining to the Hereafter. Whosoever alleviates the difficulties of a needy person who cannot pay his debt, Allah will alleviate his difficulties in both this world and the Hereafter. Whosoever conceals the faults of a Muslim, Allah will conceal his faults in this world and the Hereafter. Allah will aid a servant (of His) so long as the servant aids his brother. Whosoever follows a path to seek knowledge therein, Allah will make easy for him a path to Paradise. No people gather together in one of the houses of Allah, reciting the Book of Allah and studying it among themselves, except that tranquility descends upon them, mercy covers them, the angels surround them, and Allah makes mention of them amongst those who are in His presence. Whosoever is slowed down by his deeds will not be hastened forward by his lineage."





My Interest in Islam
As-Salamu Alaikum wa Rahmahtullahi wa Barakatu (May the peace, the mercy, and the blessings of Allah be upon you). I am Canadian-born of Scandinavian and other ancestry, and I was raised in Canada. I have been a Muslima since February 1993 when I was 23. While growing up, I was never affiliated with any religion nor was I an atheist. When I was in my mid-teens I started to think somewhat about religion and at that time I did believe in the Oneness of God (Tawheed). Christianity never interested me.
My first contact with Muslims occurred when I was introduced to some Muslim international students in 1988. Through them I learned a bit about Islam, such as Ramadan fasting. But it was really not until 1992 that I became interested in Islam. In the summer of that year a Canadian newspaper published a series of articles attacking Islam by using examples of anti-Islamic behaviour of some Muslims in an attempt to vilify Islam itself. Non-Muslims tend to judge Islam on the basis of the behaviour (which is not necessarily Islamic) of Muslims. I was not yet a Muslima but the articles were so outrageous that I sent a letter to the editor in defence of Islam. Now I was curious about Islam. I re-read some articles I had picked up several months earlier from the MSA Islam Awareness Week display at my university. One was about 'Isa (Alaihe Salam) [Jesus] as a Prophet of Islam. Also, I asked a Muslim to get me some books about Islam; they were about the overall ideology of Islam and were written by two famous Muslim authors. Impressed, I thought, "This is Islam? It seems so right." Over the next few months in my free time while attending university I continued to learn about Islam from authentic Islamic books, for example The Life of Muhammad (Salallahu Alaihe wa Salam) by Dr. Muhammad Haykal. One certainly does not learn the truth about Islam from the mass media! Also, newcomers to Islam especially must be careful to avoid the writings of deviant groups which claim ties to Islam so as not to be misled. And just because the author has an Arabic name does not necessarily mean that he or she is a knowledgeable Muslim or even Muslim at all. Also, I learned about Islam from some kind, knowledgeable Muslims and Muslimas who did not pressure me. Meanwhile, I had begun to Islamize my behaviour which did not require huge change. I already avoided consuming alcohol and pig meat. Also, I always preferred to dress conservatively/modestly and not wear makeup, perfume, or jewellery outside my home. I started to eat only Islamically slaughtered meat. Also during this time I visited a masjid (mosque) in my city for the first time.

Until I discovered Islam, I knew almost nothing about it. I say discovered because the "Islam" that I had always heard about through the mass media is not true Islam. I had always assumed that Islam is just another man-made religion, not knowing that it is the Truth. I had also assumed that a person had to be raised as a Muslim to be one. I was not aware of the fact that all humans are born Muslim (in a state of Islam - submitted to the Creator). Like many "Westerners" I associated Islam with the "East" and did not know that Islam is universal in both time and place. However, I never had negative feelings about Islam, al-Hamdulillah. The more knowledge that I acquired about Islam, the more I felt that I too can actually be Muslim as I found that many of the beliefs that I already had were actually Islamic not merely "common sense."

So after familiarizing myself with what Islam is basically about and what are the duties and proper conduct of a Muslim person, as well as thinking and reflecting, I felt ready to accept Islam and live as a Muslima. One day while at home I said the Shahada (declaration of faith) and began to perform the five daily salawat (prayers), al-Hamdulillah. That was in February 1993, several days before the fasting month of Ramadan began. I did not want to miss the fasting this time! I found the fasting to be much easier than I had anticipated; before I fasted I had worried that I might faint. At first there was a bit of an adjustment period getting used to the new routine of performing salah and fasting, and I made some mistakes, but it was exciting and not difficult. I started to read the Qur'an (Abdullah Yusuf Ali's translation) when I was given one soon after accepting Islam. Before that I had read only excerpts of it in other books. Also in the beginning, I found The Lawful and the Prohibited in Islam by Dr. Yusuf al-Qaradawi to be a useful guide.

In January 1996 (during Ramadan) I started to wear the Islamic headscarf (hijab). I realized that I could not fully submit to Allah (SWT), which is what being Muslim is about, without wearing it. Islam must be accepted and practised in its entirety; it is not an "alter-to-suit-yourself" religion. Since becoming a Muslima I was aware that the headscarf is required of Muslim women and I had intended to wear it eventually. I should have worn it immediately upon accepting Islam but for many Muslimas (even some from Muslim families) it is not easy to take that step and put it on in a non-Muslim society. It is silly how so many persons get upset over a piece of fabric! Also, it is interesting to note that Christian nuns are never criticized for covering their heads. Never in my life did I have negative feelings toward muhajjabas (women who wear hijab) when I saw them. What made me hesitate to put it on was fearing receiving bad treatment from others, especially family. But we must fear Allah (SWT) only, not others. In the few months before I permanently put on hijab I started "practising" wearing it. I wore it when I travelled between my home and the local masjid on Fridays when I started attending the jum'a salah (Friday congregational prayer). (Of course, since becoming Muslim I always wore it during every salah). A couple of weeks prior, in du'a I began asking Allah (SWT) to make it easy for me to wear it.

The day I finally put it on permanently I had reached the point where I felt that I could no longer go out with a bare head, and I thought "tough bananas" if others do not like me wearing it since I alone am accountable for my actions and am required to perform my Islamic duties, and I could never please everyone anyway. Sometimes opposition to hijab is a control issue: some persons just plainly do not like those who are determined and independent especially if it is their child.

Upon wearing it I immediately felt protected and was finally able to go out and not be the target of stares/leers from men. At first I felt a bit self-conscious but after several weeks I felt completely used to wearing hijab. Sometimes other persons look puzzled/confused, I think because they are not used to seeing pale-faced, blue-eyed Muslimas! By the way, wearing hijab is da'wah in a way as it draws attention to Islam.

Since accepting Islam I continue to seek knowledge about the Deen (religion) which is a lifelong duty for all Muslims--male and female. Currently, I am learning Arabic and hope to be able to read the Qur'an in Arabic soon, insha'Allah. Reading, discussing Islam with other Muslims, and the Friday jum'a khutba are all educational. Striving to be as pious as one can be and fighting against one's own evil traits (jihad al-nafs) takes effort and is continuous and never ending for Muslims.

I find Islam ever-more fascinating, and I enjoy living as a Muslima.



My introduction to Islam
I took the Shahadah on September 20, 1991. If you had told me 5 years prior that I would embrace Islam, I never would have believed you. In retrospect, Allah's guidance was so subtle yet consistent, that now I see my whole life as leading up to that moment. It is difficult to encapsulate the exact factors that brought me to Islam because it was a journey, a process, that lasted three years. Those three years were both exhilarating and exhausting. My perceptions of myself and the world changed dramatically. Some beliefs were validated; others, shattered. At times I feared I would lose myself; at other times I knew that this path was my destiny and embraced it. Throughout those years, a series of aspects of Islam intrigued me. Slowly and gradually, my studies led me towards the day when I took the declaration of faith, the shahadah.
Prior to my introduction to Islam, I knew that I yearned for more spiritual fulfillment in my life. But, as yet, nothing had seemed acceptable or accessible to me. I had been brought up essentially a secular humanist. Morals were emphasized, but never attributed to any spiritual or divine being. The predominant religion of our country, Christianity, seemed to burden a person with too much guilt. I was not really familiar with any other religions. I wish I could say that, sensing my spiritual void, I embarked on a spiritual quest and studied various religions in depth. However, I was too comfortable with my life for that. I come from a loving and supportive family. I had many interesting and supportive friends. I thoroughly enjoyed my university studies and I was successful at the university. Instead, it was the "chance" meeting of various Muslims that instigated my study of Islam.

Sharif was one of the first Muslims who intrigued me. He was an elderly man who worked in a tutorial program for affirmative action that I had just entered. He explained that while his job brought little monetary reward, the pleasure he gained from teaching students brought him all the reward he needed. He spoke softly and genuinely. His demeanor more than his words caught me, and I thought, "I hope I have his peace of spirit when I reach his age." That was in 1987.

As I met more Muslims, I was struck not only by their inner peace, but by the strength of their faith. These gentle souls contrasted with the violent, sexist image I had of Islam. Then I met Imran, a Muslim friend of my brother's who I soon realized was the type of man I would like to marry. He was intelligent, sincere, independent, and at peace with himself. When we both agreed that there was potential for marriage, I began my serious studies of Islam. Initially, I had no intention of becoming Muslim; I only desired to understand his religion because he had made it clear that he would want to raise his children as Muslims. My response was: "If they will turn out as sincere, peaceful and kind as he is, then I have no problem with it. But I do feel obligated to understand Islam better first."

In retrospect, I realize that I was attracted to these peaceful souls because I sensed my own lack of inner peace and conviction. There was an inner void that was not completely satisfied with academic success or human relationships. However, at that point I would never have stated that I was attracted to Islam for myself. Rather, I viewed it as an intellectual pursuit. This perception was compatible with my controlled, academic lifestyle.

Since I called myself a feminist, my early reading centered around women in Islam. I thought Islam oppressed women. In my Womens Studies courses I had read about Muslim women who were not allowed to leave their homes and were forced to cover their heads. Of course I saw hijab as an oppressive tool imposed by men rather than as an expression of self-respect and dignity. What I discovered in my readings surprised me. Islam not only does not oppress women, but actually liberates them, having given them rights in the 6th century that we have only gained in this century in this country: the right to own property and wealth and to maintain that in her name after marriage; the right to vote; and the right to divorce.

This realization was not easy in coming....I resisted it every step of the way. But there were always answers to my questions. Why is there polygamy? It is only allowed if the man can treat all four equally and even then it is discouraged. However, it does allow for those times in history when there are more women than men, especially in times of war, so that some women are not deprived of having a relationship and children. Furthermore, it is far superior to the mistress relationship so prevalent here since the woman has a legal right to support should she have a child. This was only one of many questions, the answers to which eventually proved to me that women in Islam are given full rights as individuals in society.

However, these discoveries did not allay all my fears. The following year was one of intense emotional turmoil. Having finished up my courses for my masters in Latin American Studies in the spring of 1989, I decided to take a year to substitute teach. This enabled me to spend a lot of time studying Islam. Many things I was reading about Islam made sense. However, they didn't fit into my perception of the world. I had always perceived of religion as a crutch. But could it be that it was the truth? Didn't religions cause much of the oppression and wars in the world? How then could I be considering marrying a man who followed one of the world's major religions? Every week I was hit with a fresh story on the news, the radio or the newspaper about the oppression of Muslim women. Could I, a feminist, really be considering marrying into that society? Eyebrows were raised. People talked about me in worried tones behind my back. In a matter of months, my secure world of 24 years was turned upside down. I no longer felt that I knew what was right or wrong. What was black and white, was now all gray.

But something kept me going. And it was more than my desire to marry Imran. At any moment I could have walked away from my studies of Islam and been accepted back into a circle of feminist, socialist friends and into the loving arms of my family. While these people never deserted me, they haunted me with their influence. I worried about what they would say or think, particularly since I had always judged myself through the eyes of others. So I secluded myself. I talked only with my family and friends that I knew wouldn't judge me. And I read.

It was no longer an interested, disinterested study of Islam. It was a struggle for my own identity. Up to that time I had produced many successful term papers. I knew how to research and to support a thesis. But my character had never been at stake. For the first time, I realized that I had always written to please others. Now, I was studying for my own spirit. It was scary. Although I knew my friends and family loved me, they couldn't give me the answers. I no longer wanted to lean on their support. Imran was always there to answer my questions. While I admired his patience and his faith that all would turn out for the best, I didn't want to lean too heavily on him out of my own fear that I might just be doing this for a man and not for myself. I felt I had nothing and no one to lean on. Alone, frightened and filled with self-doubt, I continued to read.

After I had satisfied my curiosity about women in Islam and been surprised by the results, I began to read about the life of the Prophet Muhammad and to read the Qu'ran itself. As I read about the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), I began to question my initial belief that he was merely an exceptional leader. His honesty prior to any revelations, his kindness, his sagacity, his insights into his present as well as the future--all made me question my initial premise. His persistence in adversity and, later, his humility in the face of astounding success seemed to belie human nature. Even at the height of his success when he could have enjoyed tremendous wealth, he refused to have more than his poorest companions in Islam.

Slowly I was getting deeper and deeper into the Qu'ran. I asked, "Could a human being be capable of such a subtle, far-reaching book?" Furthermore, there are parts that are meant to guide the Prophet himself, as well as reprimand him. I wondered if the Prophet would have reprimanded himself.

As I slowly made my way through the Qu'ran, it became less and less an intellectual activity, and more and more a personal struggle. There were days when I would reject every word--find a way to condemn it, not allow it to be true. But then I would suddenly happen upon a phrase that spoke directly to me. This first happened when I was beginning to experience a lot of inner turmoil and doubt and I read some verses towards the end of the second chapter: "Allah does not burden any human being with more than he is well able to bear" (2:286). Although I would not have stated that I believed in Allah at that time, when I read these words it was as if a burden was lifted from my heart.

I continued to have many fears as I studied Islam. Would I still be close to my family if I became a Muslim? Would I end up in an oppressive marriage? Would I still be "open-minded?" I believed secular humanism to be the most open-minded approach to life. Slowly I began to realize that secular humanism is as much an ideology, a dogma, as Islam. I realized that everyone had their ideology and I must consciously choose mine. I realized that I had to have trust in my own intellect and make my own decisions--that I should not be swayed by the negative reactions of my "open-minded," "progressive" friends. During this time, as I started keeping more to myself, I was becoming intellectually freer than any time in my life.

Two and a half years later, I had finished the Qu'ran, been delighted by its descriptions of nature and often reassured by its wisdom. I had learned about the extraordinary life of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH); I had been satisfied by the realization that Islam understands that men and women are different but equal; and I discovered that Islam gave true equality not only to men and women, but to all races and social classes, judging only by one's level of piety. And I had gained confidence in myself and my own decisions. It was then that I came to the final, critical question: Do I believe in one God? This is the basis of being a Muslim. Having satisfied my curiosity about the rules and historical emergence of Islam, I finally came to this critical question, the essence of being Muslim. It was as if I had gone backwards: starting with the details before I finally reached the spiritual question. I had to wade through the technicalities and satisfy my academic side before I could finally address the spiritual question. Did I.... Could I place my trust in a greater being? Could I relinquish my secular humanist approach to life?

Twice I decided to take the shahadah and then changed my mind the next day. One afternoon, I even knelt down and touched my forehead to the floor, as I had often seen Muslims do, and asked for guidance. I felt such peace in that position. Perhaps in that moment I was a Muslim a heart, but when I stood up, my mind was not ready to officially take the shahadah.

After that moment a few more weeks passed. I began my new job: teaching high school. The days began to pass very quickly, a flurry of teaching, discipline and papers to correct. As my days began to pass so fast, it struck me that I did not want to pass from this world without having declared my faith in Allah. Intellectually, I understood that the evidence present in the Prophet Muhammad's (PBUH) life and in the Qu'ran was too compelling to deny. And, at that moment, I was also ready in my heart for Islam. I had spent my life longing for a truth in which heart would be compatible with mind, action with thought, intellect with emotion. I found that reality in Islam. With that reality came true self-confidence and intellectual freedom. A few days after I took the shahadah , I wrote in my journal that finally I have found in Islam the validation of my inner thoughts and intuition. By acknowledging and accepting Allah, I have found the door to spiritual and intellectual freedom.


My Journey to Islam
In September 4 1993 I began a journey that was a childhood dream. I left my home city of Aberdeen, Scotland at 4.10 p.m. with the intention of driving my camper van all the way to Goa, India, and back. Before I undertook this journey I spent a lot of time reading on the countries, customs, peoples and religions which at the very least could give me a basic understanding of the how I should re-act when arriving upon each place.
Although the diversity of the peoples was a task to take on board, it was the diversity of religions that stuck most in my mind. There seemed to be for me an excitement about Islamic countries, which kept coming to my thought. The journey went well with the exception of a few mechanical problems throughout Eastern Europe. The first Islamic country I was to reach was Turkey. Although I had been there before, I had never been to Istanbul.

I was tired and needed rest. As one would do, I left my camper in a campsite and spent the next three weeks ad-hoc travelling through the centre of the city to see the sites. On what was to be my last day in Istanbul I visited the Blue Mosque and the Pink Mosque [probably the Aya Sofia -MSA-USC.]. This, my brothers and sisters, was to be my introduction to the one and true religion of Al-Islam. It was a Friday, and as I recall during 'Asr prayer no one (from the tourists) was allowed in the Pink Mosque. Due to my inquisitiveness I got firstly lost inside the mosque and secondly found myself locked in standing at the back watching the wonderful event of 'Asr prayer unfolding before my eyes. I feel I can never quite express clearly what happened next except to say that I felt drawn, numb and very hot all at the same time. Unwittingly I remembered thinking that this was really for me without questioning why or what this religion was all about. I knew the basic belief was that there was only one God. I believed that all my life anyway. The prayer had finished and all were on their way out. A brother approached me. I felt embarrassed as I apologised for being there when I should not. He smiled and assured me that it was all right.

After leaving the mosque, I went on a walk about heading towards the harbour area. I was standing looking in a window when I felt a presence behind me. I turned around to see the same man I met in the mosque; again he smiled. He told me to wait a moment as he went downstairs in the shop. When he appeared again a few moments later, he handed me a plastic bag and said "Is this what you have been looking for brother?" As I looked in the bag there was a translation of the Holy Qur'an in English. This was when an amazing thing happened. I looked up to thank him but he was gone. The strange thing was that there was no side road, alley or lane for him to simply disappear. Until this day I have never figured out where he had gone.

The journey re-commenced the next day, heading towards Eastern Turkey. I began to read the Qur'an in the evening and felt drawn to visit mosques route. Every time I met Muslim people they were forever inviting me to their homes for meals, etc. Their politeness and good character was what I have encountered before. My head was full of emptiness waiting to be filled with knowledge and I constantly asked questions about Islam. I somehow felt that I had found something that was always there but did not know how to find it and what it was.

Iran was to be the same. The more I travelled the more I felt drawn to the mosques and the company of the people. There was something distinctive about how the people were. At first I couldn't put my finger on it. I came from the West where I had been nurtured into a set of beliefs, values and attitude. The attitude seemed hard to shake off. The attitude that I matter, I am indispensable, I will stand on who I need to, so I may get to the top. Who is God? Does it matter? Money and prestige is more important, is it not? I felt a constant battle as I came from there, but I somehow felt I belonged here.

All the way through Iran I never felt intimidated, in fact, quite the opposite. If I had taken all the many offers of meals, accommodation, etc., I fear that I would still be there, and I would have gotten into trouble with the authorities. My visa was for one week only.

The next country was Pakistan. Here was where things got even better. The people were quite at ease and seemed happy to answer my non-stop questions on Islam. I visited more mosques. I was in more houses in Pakistan than I had probably ever been at home.

Another thing that I have always believed in before embracing Islam was pre-destination. Others may call it fate. This had led me to the next encounter of life with the Muslim people. My windscreen had broken and I ended up searching Quetta for a new one. I was directed to Tradesmen Street. There was where I met Muhammad, a motor body repairer. He kindly let me stay in his lock-up yard for five days until he could locate a windscreen. Everyday without fail he I ate at his house or he brought me food. He took me to meet the headmasters of both a public and a private school. He refused point blank that I should put my hand in my pocket to buy anything. He told me stories of the Prophet (p.b.u.h.) and other Islamic issues. At times I found it difficult to contain my emotions. I could not believe the hospitality I was receiving.

One occasion sticks in my mind which left me in tears and astounded. I was in Muhammad's house for lunch. There was his family there including around thirteen children. While I taught them a Scottish nursery rhyme Muhammad videotaped us together. Within minute the children who spoke no English, mastered it. When I was entering my van I heard some commotion at the end of the street. There, there were around one hundred children running towards me singing the Scottish nursery rhyme. I was surrounded as the tears ran from my cheeks with joy. It was so beautiful. Here was a stranger in a strange land and they wanted nothing from me except just to stay a little bit longer. I had to go. The following day I visited the local mosque and said my good bye with regret.

On the road to the Pakistani/Indian border I continued to read the Qur'an and still question why these people were being so nice to me but wanted nothing in return. Strange indeed.

As I said before, I was coming from the West where, in the material sense, they have everything. There was me travelling through a land with a house on wheels while around me so many people were living in squalor. If you have never had nothing you do not know what it's like, or, from my point of view, I had never experienced nothing.

My next encounter showed me the simplicity of man in relation to our Creator, Allah (s.w.t.). As I drove the Sind region in the desert I began to become anxious to find a place off the road to park for the evening. Suddenly I came upon a simple house of clay in the middle of nowhere. I approached the house and knocked on the door. An old man answered. I said "Assalaam Alaikom", he replied in kind. I asked if it was ok to park for the night? He spoke no English but acknowledged what I meant.

He invited me for tea. Immediately I became consciously aware of the simplicity of his dwelling. There was nothing which did not have a use, and everything was to a bare minimum. As I recalled the items, there was a staff carpet, a copy of al-Qur'an, a pot and a water skin. We sat on the carpet and drank tea. As he moved to the window, he left without warning with the water skin and a mat in hand. After a good five minutes had passed, I went outside. What I saw next I could only describe as 'the day the world stopped.' As the sun dropped out of the sky below the horizon, there was complete silence. The man in front of me dropped to his knees in total obedient worship to our Creator, a memory that lasts with me until this day.

I made it to India, visited more mosques and made it all the way back unscathed. I thought the people back home had changed, they had not, but I had.

It is so easy to allow yourself to be consumed by the method rather than being the method. Please allow me to elaborate. While in the East, I had accommodation, money and for once in my life, simplicity, empathy and understanding. It is not that I don't have them now. It's simply a different game with different rules and players. I tend to call it the reverse process. In simple terms, to the wonderful creations in the East, God is the important factor. It was to be my downfall back here in the West, trading god for money, or you may call it materialism. It seems easy to say now but for me anything with the word 'ISM' attached should be avoided at all costs.

No! I still had not embraced Islam. Although conscious of what I had learned, I put it on the back burner. The quest for me, which seemed more important, was accommodation, job, flat, and car. All of these don't grow on trees and, really how money becomes available never really mattered. I couldn't find a proper job. My wife who had been my constant travelling partner became just as disillusioned as I did. We had only been married a short time and even getting married to each other was ever shorter on three and a half-month. We couldn't get work; we were tired of travel and extremely tired of each other.

As things got progressively worse as we could not find work or accommodation, things were getting desperate. My wife found an advertisement in the local paper asking for a sauna receptionist. In our naivete we both believed that a Sauna was in fact a Sauna. At the same time she got the job, I got offered some work dealing and running drugs. The sauna turned out to be a front for prostitution and it was not long before my wife decided to swap answering the telephone for the red light. We both loved the money, we both became drugs users and all seemed fantastic.

This was to be short lived. It tore us apart. We were in a web where there seemed no way out. On the one hand we needed the money to feed our cocaine habit. On the other hand, I got sick of drugs, money, prostitution, in fact, everything. We kept the company of like-minded characters that helped feed the desire for self-gratification. I tried so hard to get off the drugs. In the mean time I tried to get my wife off the prostitution. She seemed by now to love the money more than me. I would sit for many hours staring at this accumulating amount of money before my eyes with total disdain. Little did I realise that all was about to change - first for the worst.

Two weeks before 15 April 1996 two things happened simultaneously. The first thing happened after an encounter to the library. I took a book out on loan called "The Basics of Islam". Inside I found what one says when taking the Shahadah. I was lonely, desperate and searching for the right way. I had no one in this strange city to witness me taking the Shahadah. I therefore had no choice. I took my Shahadah bearing witness to Allah (s.w.t.) four times. I took the piles of money and put it in a jack in a cupboard. I flushed the remaining drugs in the toilet. I felt alive for the first time in a long time, although short lived.

My wife who had become a stranger to me arrived back that evening. I told her of the day's events. This was to be the final acclaim. We spoke little over the next two weeks. I had my plan set that I was going back east. In all this confusion we both plotted a terrible crime and the end result would be we would go together east. Everybody says I am innocent. I was set up, etc. etc. I am not going to say this at all: I am guilty of committing a horrible crime and the consequence of my action has led me serving a life sentence. My wife? She got off and now we are divorced, thank God!

I have now served three years of my sentence and expect to serve a further seven or eight years. You may well remember earlier that I said everything is pre-ordained. I have questioned on many occasions as to how did I end up here. The story says it all. Nevertheless, brothers and sisters, everything has a reason. One might ask what have you done with your time in prison? What is the future of your life? What are your hopes, dreams and aspirations?

Well, I think it goes like this. No man can run riot through the land without taking responsibility for his actions and I feel it is better to be punished in this life than in the hereafter.

When I first came to prison I was in Soughton Jail, Edinburgh. After being processed where all details were asked for, one of the questions was what religion are you? I replied Islam. I was immediately given a Muslim diet and allowed to go to the Muslim meetings where brothers from outside came to the prison fortnightly. I recalled the first meeting as I walked into the room I held my head in shame. I couldn't stop saying why did I do that. I wept as the brothers gave me support. I by my actions created not just one victim but so many. My victim's family, friends, work associates, etc. have all been affected by my thoughtless actions. I have seen my father turned grey, my mother on anti-depression tablets and my brother too.

I will probably never ever know the real impact of my crime upon my victim, nor do I ever expect forgiveness. I am deeply sorry and ashamed of my actions.

One of the brothers in Edinburgh said to me 'you can't change the past, you can only hope to attain to be a better person in the future.' I took my Shahadah again that evening this time in front of witnesses, back in 1996.

The easy part, which may seem the hardest part, is getting accustomed to nothingness and solitude. That is one thing prison does for a man. It gives you time, plenty of it, to think. My first reaction was to think of what I had lost; not only family, friends, my respect and all of that "ISM' materialism.

Soon I lost the need for materialism. As I sit here now in the concrete tomb, I exchange my coat of materialism for spiritualism. I have embraced Islam fully, slowly, but surely. I am building up a new set of moral and ethical values. I pray five times daily as prescribed in Islam and beg Allah (s.w.t.) for forgiveness.

What have I done with my time you may ask? I have undertaken a home study course in Islamic Studies which consists of twenty booklets on various Islamic subjects, which on completion leads to five O' grades or GCSES. I have undertaken the first year of a degree course in Arabic and Islamic Studies. I read the Qur'an and the Ahadeeth of the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.) daily. I get immeasurable support from regular visits from the brothers from the Aberdeen Mosque. Why all these you may ask? Well, I believe in Allah (s.w.t.), I believe that good can overrule bad and only through the straight path of Islam can this be achieved.

I want to be an asset to society when I eventually leave the prison, inshaallah. I hope that I may have obtained my degree in Arabic and Islamic Studies by then so as I may undertake da'awah work and hopefully get a job teaching Islamic subjects.


My Knowledge about Religions
June 23, 1996 I was introduced to Islam in 1995 by an Egyptian classmate who arrived in New Zealand the previous year, and who was placed into my Chemistry class. I had no religion before this, though I guess I was a non practicing Christian, since I attended Sunday school when I was young, (but mainly to learn Chinese, my native tongue, rather than religion). In fact I was uninterested in much that was taught to me, however I never at any stage discounted the notion of a higher being (ie. Allah, or God).
Because of my background in religion, I did not know much about religions other than Christianity and Buddhism. My parents are Buddhists, but my knowledge of it was so weak that I did not even know the proper name for their religion until a few years ago. So I was naive when I met my classmate, Muhammed.

During the first few weeks, another classmate of mine kept teasing Muhammed about his religion, asking leading questions and the like. I thus became interested in some of the things that this other classmate, James, was suggesting. So I got talking with Muhammed about this religion called Islam, and we became acquainted quickly.

I requested to see a Quran but did not find the time to read it, during a busy school year. So when the workload became a bit lighter, I went to see my friend's father, who is our local imam. He spoke to me at length about Islam, and planted a seed which in a few months time, with the blessing of Allah, blossomed into strong muslim, alhumdulillah. I took shahada in November 1995.

I am often asked why I came to Islam. The question seems logical, and simple, but in fact, I still find it the most difficult question to answer, even though I have been asked it so many times. You see, I saw many things in Islam that I liked. Included in this were the strong brotherhood and sisterhood in Islam, the way fellow muslims looked after each other, and the logic in Islam. The logic in women wearing hijab to deter from that which is haram, the logic in the forbidding of alcohol, which harms more than it ever will heal, and the logic in many other areas of our lives. I have been told that many people who revert to Islam find they fit right in with the religion. Indeed this was the case with me. Coming from a kafir country such as New Zealand (I have lived here most of my life), it is rare for a person to be good religiously like myself, alhumdulillah, masha Allah. You see, alhumdulillah, I made intentions in my heart never to drink in my life, and never have; I made intentions not to fornicate, even though everyone around me in school was either fornicating or planning to. So you see, alhumdulillah, Allah blessed me from the beginning, and I felt Islam was the next obvious step for me to take in my life.

I decided in November of 1995, with the encouragement with some brothers and sisters on the Internet, to take shahada as a first step in Islam, and then take further steps to learn more about Islam, after all we are all in a constant state of learning about Islam. Alhumdulillah since then I have progressed slowly but surely, learning some surats from Quran during a very busy school year. Allah blessed me with some amazing results last year, alhumdulillah, and now I want to thank my Allah by increasing the time I spend learning Quran and about Islam this year, insha Allah, while I pursue entry into a Medical degree. May Allah give me the strength insha Allah to enter Medical school next year. May Allah help us all to learn more about Islam, and let us all undertake to live our lives in the correct way, and follow the one true and surely straight path, that of Islam. Ameen.


My Life and Islam
Childhood
I was born and brought up into a devoted catholic family. My father comes from a family whose members mostly turned out to become priests and priestesses, while my mother still has a certain aristocratic blood in her family. My parents were blessed with five children, of which I am the only male and the youngest one. I never had anyone of them to play with since I was a child because of the quite significant difference in age, they were always occupied with their school tasks whenever I needed someone to play with. As it turned out to be, I got used to spending my time with the maidservant and when I was bored, I simply went out to play. For that reason I was used to make friends with people outside of my family, people in my neighborhood who were mostly muslims.
In my family, everything that has a "muslim taste" in it was usually considered inappropriate. So every thursday when the time was for the recitation of the Qur'an (we only had TVRI, the government's station back then) the TV set was immediately turned off, that's how my family was like. When I got to school age, naturally my parents chose a catholic institution, as with all my sisters. Even so, I alwasy found it easier to be friends mostlye with people who were muslim.

Adolescence

Perhaps it was because of my negative childhood image, that when I grew up to be a teen-ager my family always thought of me as being this troublesome kid. In other words, to them I was always the one to blame for everything, anything good that I did was practically nothing to them. Hence, I always tried to look up for answers of my problems through sources outside of my family. My academic records were also nothing special except for English language.

And so I started to contemplate with questions that I had in my high school year, I asked and kept asking, I read many books and literature, trying to explore everything about my faith then. But as it goes, the more I gained something, the more I felt that, "This isn't it, this is not what I want." What's worse is that the more I involved myself with religious activities, the more I went further from what I expected, which put me down more and more. What I always found in there was nothing but negative views on somebody else's faith. Whenever I tried to give in another view, they put me down saying that I'm taking sides, I'm giving too much of a value judgement, so on and so forth.

Eventually I became more distanced from them, but interestingly (and this is what had always happenned) I felt myself drawn closer and closer with my muslim friends, they seemed to accept me without any sort of tendency to judge. They knew I didn't share their faith but most of them didn't seem to mind or be disturbed by it whatsoever.

Adulthood

My adulthood started when I entered college. I enrolled in a private college whose students were predominantly muslims. Even so, I still tried to involve myself in religious activities with students of the same faith. In that community, the old conflicting trauma appeared afresh, even worse. Eventually I lost my interest in it. As a college student, I felt more comfortable in my soul searching process. Naturally, I had more access to many references, times and places of interest, because I never felt home with my relatives, even with my sisters. And so I went on with my life as usual, until this deep spiritual experience happened. This is the story:

One morning, I don't remember the date, but it was in 1993. I was abruptly awoke from sleep and just quickly sat down. Then unconsciously went up and washed my face, hands and feet, then got back sitting with my legs crossed. Exactly then the call to fajr prayer started..but very differently. I listened to it with an indescribable feeling and emotion,..it was touching me so deeply, in short. I myself never could explain what really happened that morning, but so it did. Ever since then I looked for answers and learned with a practicing muslim friend, read books, started everything from scratch.

The first obstacle for me naturally came from my family, especially my mother. I became uncertain again, this is the most difficult choice in my entire life. And so months I spent trying to think over my intention to become a muslim. I felt that I had to make a choice. And of course I chose to become a muslim eventually.

In early 1994 I declared my shahadah after finishing the maghrib (evening) prayer in jama'ah (congregation). It was really emotional, friends from my faculty in college even made me work out a written statement with them as witnesses, how touchy it was.

In short, I've lived my life as a new person ever since then. After finishing my school, I started working. Even though my relationship with my family is falling apart, I try to pull everything together and be strong as to endure the hardships.

My new life was again put to a test when I was going to marry. Because I'm considered an apostate in my family's view, I had to do everything by myself, the proposal, etc., everything. No wedding reception or any of that sort, just the obligatory ones.

And then when my mother died, unfortunately I didn't get to see her for the last time. Her wish, which of course I cannot comply to, was for me to return to my old faith.

Wassalaamu 'alaikum wrahmatullahi wabarakatuhu,

My own journey to Islam
Assalaamu alaikum everyone. Before I tell you my journey to Islam, here's some background information you might like to know.
I'm a 15 year old caucasian male who lives in NW Indiana. I go to a Catholic high school, in which I'm a sophomore. The city I live in (Whiting) is small; about 5,150 people, I'm the only Muslim. And now, the story...

My journey to Islam wasn't like a lot of people's. I didn't meet any Muslims personally, nor did I get to witness such events as sister Jahida. My journey, however, is interesting in its own right.

It started in late 1998, about August. I was about to start high school, and I was, like most people are, quite nervous. I was largely nervous because a priest would be teaching my theology class. I only had a problem because i wasn't very religious. Anyway, our class got to talking about the world's religions in general, and Islam came up. I was chosen to do a report on it, and it was ironic that on that very night I saw a TV Program on Jihad. (Of course, it was all wrong)

So i researched and researched, and I found myself doing extra work; not for a better grade, but because I was greatly interested in it. One day, a group of friends and myself went to downtown Chicago for the day. I thought it would be a good place to find literature on Islam, so I bought a Qur'an. Masha'allah that I did. It's utterly amazing. I read Surah Al-Qadr when i first opened it to a random spot, and though it is short in words, it left a lasting impression on me.

Fall turned into winter, and winter to spring. All this time, I've been wavering if I should take my shahadah. My parents wouldn't take this well, I thought. So that was a big concern of mine. Also, I'd be the only Muslim in the community and school. Was I ready? Was I ready for the struggle and fight ahead of me if I chose Islam? Yes, I was, alhumdulillah. on May 10th, 1999, at the age of 14, I took my shahada.

It's been just over 6 months, subhan'allah, and I can't think of changing a thing. Although it would be nice if I could tell my mother, I'm still trying to figure out how and when, and I pray that I will know soon, insha'allah. My father, with whom I don't live, knows and is very accepting of it. Insha'allah my first Ramadan will be a memorable one, and may the rest of the days of my life.


My Prayers to God
In 1968 I was born and raised in Hannover, a big city in Germany as a Christian, a protestant, just because my parents were Christians. All my life I believed in God but I have been never too religious. When I prayed I prayed to God, not to Jesus. I never went for prayer into the church because in my opinion it wasn’t necessary, you can do the same at home to be close to God. With 22 years I got married a catholic and I’ve got three wonderful children. I taught them that God is always close to them and He protects us with His Angels. But while my marriage I became unhappy, my husband changed himself and he never talked about his problems with me. So slowly my marriage broke down. At this time I felt that I was losing my life, just everything. In 1998 we moved to Wernigerode, a small town in East Germany for business reasons and I still hoped to save my marriage. When my youngest child was old enough for the Kindergarten I re-started work. One of my colleagues was a Muslim but not a believing one. I didn’t realize how he taught me some Islamic manners. One year later I started to change my life. I became able to accept things how they are, no matter if they have been good or not. I realized that everything is made by God. While that time I became stronger. After ten years my marriage was completely broken and I was scared to leave my husband, how could I survive as a mother with three children? But Allah’s ways are sometimes mysterious.
A couple of months later I got the answer. When I started with my first internet experiences I got to know someone on internet and he didn't tell me that he is a Muslim. He was like the key to my new life Alhamdulilah. We shared our pictures, his was on his homepage. On that site I found two great links: one of the 99 names of Allah (at this time I never heard about) and one of the Holy Qur'an. I read the first chapter and was so impressed that I wanted to read more. So I was looking for the German translation. My Muslim brother in future, Abdul Rahman, didn't know about it. I told him later that I was reading the Qur'an and he was so happy to hear it. A few weeks after we got to know one another he left the USA to move to Macedonia (at this time the war over there started) but he promised me to keep in touch with me. Alhamdulilah he did and every time I was so happy to hear about him in these bad times. It was the first time I was afraid about someone I've never met before and made a lot of dua for him and his family. I tried to improve my knowledge in Islam and in spite of our distance he gave me great advices to encourage me. My new faith bettered my belief in Allah and gave me the courage to change a lot of things in my life. I left my husband and started a new life. It was a hard time for me but I felt how Allah was always close to me.

I will never forget the day when I had the strong wish to convert. My children found outside a kitten and we tried to save him. I prayed to Allah to let that little creature live. He gave him one week. I woke up at night and found our kitten dead. His body was still warm and I was so sad. I asked Allah why He did it. After a sleepless night I realized in the morning that it had been God's Will. He gives and He takes life. That was the moment; I knew I had to convert as soon as possible. Allah had given me a sign. Unfortunately there wasn’t and still isn’t a Muslim community here, too less practicing Muslims. To convert to Islam I needed to go to Braunschweig, a town in the western part. I met some brothers and sisters and the Imam on the station, my train was late and I hadn’t much time to stay and to go to the masjid before I had to return to my town. So I said the Shadahah on the station and one sister told me before I would feel like newborn and she was right. Mashallah. It’s difficult to get some more knowledge in Islam without an ummah and to bring up my children in the Islamic way but I don’t give up.

When I told my family and my friends about my conversion, they were shocked and except for my Mom and my little brothers they didn’t want to talk with me. I was so sad about that but I couldn’t leave my faith for my family or anyone else. My brother Abdul Rahman told me it would take time until my relatives would understand and he was right. Still my Dad can’t understand why I am so convinced about Islam and why I decided to wear a scarf. He said that I wasn’t born as a Muslim, it was not my culture. Insha’Allah one day he will understand too.

So when I converted to Islam in 2001 nobody told me how I had to dress or that I had to wear hijab from now on. I changed my habits and my outfit slowly and almost one year later I've really wished to wear hijab but unfortunately I couldn't. When I was invited by some sisters for Eid-ul-fitr in Braunschweig, I took the chance and left for the first time my home with a hijab. Masha'Allah it was a wonderful feeling. I considered if I should continue but I didn't want any problems for my children as I was the only German Muslimah in town. I asked them and they agreed and a couple of days later, after a lot of dua'a, I realized my wish with Allah’s help. It has been 2 years ago and I don't regret my decision. I can't imagine anymore leaving my home without a scarf. People are still looking on me because they are still not use to foreigners here (sometimes I'm being took for a Turk ) but when I have the chance to talk with some about Islam, especially about Muslim women, I do and I must say that I have only good experiences. I’m proud to be a Muslim, Masha’Allah.

After all I must say that I don’t regret for one moment that I became a Muslim. Islam is sometimes hard but I have never been happier before and I thank Allah that He sent me someone like an angel, Brother Abdul Rahman, because I found the right path for my life. May Allah reward all my brothers and sisters who helped me (and still do) through my way to Islam. Alhamdulilah.


My Steps Towards Islam
I am a born Muslim and all I knew about Muslims is that I am one of "them”.
My father, who is from algeria and muslim, insisted that his kids stayed Muslims and my mom (who's a Christian) totally agreed and told my father that he'd have to teach us because she didn't know anything about Islam. Well I knew that the women covered, that they'd fast in month of Ramadan, that they don't eat pork (I always wondered why though) and I knew they shouldn't drink alcohol or have intercourse before marriage. I was born and raised in Switzerland and since my father wasn’t practising himself at that time we pretty much grew up Chrisitinan and had Christmas, Easter, and just whatever else the western teenagers go through (that's history)... My stepfather used to ask sometimes to choose a religion and that I wouldn't know where I was going after death if I didn't have one. (he is Muslim himself but not practising, Insha'Allah one day) so I did think about it all with dead ends though. I did believe in God and I was sure of the fact that I will have to answer to whatever bad I did in this life, pretty much the day of resurrection I guess. And later on I did pray to God but I usually did that before I went to bed and always fell asleep while doing so that made me feel bad in the morning I thought God is greater than for me to fall asleep on him...

There came a time where I realised that no matter what I did in my life I wasn’t really content, I used to party but that satisfaction lasted until I woke up the other morning I used to go out with friends but eventually my best friend got married and there I was alone again and so on. Nothing lasted longer than the most a few years. So I started looking for something that made me happy that wasn't depending on others and that wouldn't fade no matter how alone I was. My friends used to advice me why not yoga, why not any other classes... to relax the body etc but I was never into yoga and stuff so I thought naww I'll go to a mosque and learn how to pray. My friends said stuff like but you're not going to change and all right? I said no I just want to pray. So I went to this masjid that I found online, it was the first that popped up on Google and the imam's wife thought me the movements and they gave me a little booklet with I think surah Fatiha and the 3 Qul's. I was all happy, learning the prayers everyday and the movements, well I didn't have a clue what she showed me it did'nt make sense at all. Anyway I moved what I thought was right in the beginning I would just say the Takbeer with each move. The first time I prayed for about 25 minutes was so happy.

Anyway I needed an abaya in case I wanted to go to the mosque and went downtown to some Turkish stores but didn't find anything. So I walked around and saw this man dressed in white, I think he had a little beard he stood in a store waiting in line by the cashier and I went ahead and asked him whether he knew where I could get an abaya and he told me about that one store...the next day I went there, it was Ramadan. Around the same time I met this young man online but we didn't really chat until months later he contacted me again saying hey I reverted to Islam (I thought what the heck ! why would somebody do that ! ) and he told me his story and told me about the Prophet Muhammad (saw) and it was all so beautiful I couldn’t' believe that this was Islam ! He was in Bahrain that time. So we continued talking and sms'ing back and forth and I got to know more about Islam. As I said it was beginning Ramadan and I decided to fast (whatever action I took towards Islam I always thought lets see what happens) so I went to this store for my abayya and the owner asked me whether I had a mosque that I'd go to I said yes and as I told him which one he said I should not go there anymore those were ahmadiyyas (which is a sect in Islam) and I thought oh my gosh how am I ever going to understand this religion. So I said well where else should I go? He pointed to one man behind me and said you can go to his wife she’ll teach you everything you need to know. I left my number and said she should call me as soon as possible before I loose my eagerness and interest about Islam. She did call but I thought what if their intention were bad and just told her that all my questions were clear and that I didn’t' need going to her place. Subhan'Allah she called again asking again why I don’t just pass by and I thought well ok... lets see. I felt very comfortable at her place and ended up going to learn about 1-2 times/week. This young man I met online, I actually saw him once for a few hours and he brought me a Quran, a collection of Riadh'us'Saliheen, and some booklets about the Prophet (saw) women in Islam etc. he later told me he wants to get married and I asked him whether he'd want his wife to cover and he said yes so I thought ok break of contact that's not for me. Learning more and more about Islam with my sister in Islam I went to I started thinking how in the world I will ever find aman/future husband. And I thought well I know one ... and he seemed to be really good, practising, I knew he'd be at the mosque for all the prayers and I know he wouldn't spend time with females, strong in his faith etc. so we talked about marriage, he agreed but said he'd want to see my father before that, he'd want his agreement. I thought O GOSH ! But Subhan'Allah today it feels as if Allah has laid the red carpet for me since the day I decided to pray!! To make a long story short, my parents love my husband, so do I and our little son that had just turned two. Today my dad is practising alhamdulillah so do his two little sons (his wife always did).There were many tests as far as friends that didn't want to walk around with when I decided to wear the Hijab (headscarf) or that just didn't call again. At work they realised some changes and asked me whether I'm going through some problems but I assured them that I was a 100% fine. I in the beginning didn’t tell anyone about me praying or anything since this was something I did for myself and I was not ready to face any questions or weird looks. My mom in the beginning used to ask me but you're not going to cover are you? I said no of course not. And today she fully accepts me wearing the Niqab (which I only told her a few weeks ago) I have to say here that I have the best mom! Insha’Allah Allah may give her hidaiyyat !Ameen.

I think it was in Riadh'us'Saliheen where I came across this hadith that ends with: if you go walking towards Allah t'ala, He’ll come running towards you. And I thought ok, let me try that and I literally tested Allah and this hadith by giving something up I used to do and checking what will happen. Subhan'Allah there is no comparisons to the blessings I got showered with, no words to explain what I have today. My friends used to ask why are you doing all this? In the very beginning I didn't really have no answer but later until today I tell them that I'd get up EVERY MORNING and I don't have nothing at all bothering me, no problems whatsoever !! And no matter what happens this can not be taken from me !I think I could go on and on about what else happened that proved me that Allah is true to HIS word and that whatever we're advised to do really works !

Later in time I had to go to a physiotherapist and her and me became very close friends, I was wearing the hijab at that time and she said there was something that attracted her about my way of dressing, anyway she was very curious about Islam, she converted about 3 1/2 years ago.

We had an ijtimah (Islamic gathering) a few weeks back and in one of the bayans the brother said that Allah is not the MOST RICH HE is the ONLY RICH

Your Sister in Islam,
Myriam

Ma Salaam


Native American Muslim
My name is Mahir Abdal-Razzaaq El and I am a Cherokee Blackfoot American Indian who is Muslim. I am known as Eagle Sun Walker. I serve as a Pipe Carrier Warrior for the North-eastern Band of Cherokee Indians in New York City.
There are other Muslims in our group. For the most part, not many people are aware of the Native American contact with Islam that began over one thousand years ago by some of the early Muslim travellers who visited us. Some of these Muslim travellers ended up living among our people.

For most Muslims and non-Muslims of today, this type of information is unknown and has never been mentioned in any of the history books. There are many documents, treaties, legislation and resolutions that were passed between 1600s and 1800s that show that Muslims were in fact here and were very active in the communities in which they lived. Treaties such as Peace and Friendship that was signed on the Delaware River in the year 1787 bear the signatures of Abdel-Khak and Muhammad Ibn Abdullah. This treaty details our continued right to exist as a community in the areas of commerce, maritime shipping, and current form of government at that time which was in accordance with Islam. According to a federal court case from the Continental Congress, we help put the breath of life in to the newly framed constitution. All of the documents are presently in the National Archives as well as the Library of Congress.

If you have access to records in the state of South Carolina, read the Moors Sundry Act of 1790. In a future article, Inshallah, I will go in to more details about the various tribes, their languages; in which some are influenced by Arabic, Persian, Hebrew words. Almost all of the tribe’s vocabulary includes the word Allah. The traditional dress code for Indian women includes the kimah and long dresses. For men, standard fare is turbans and long tops that come down to the knees. If you were to look at any of the old books on Cherokee clothing up until the time of 1832, you will see the men wearing turbans and the women wearing long head coverings. The last Cherokee chief who had a Muslim name was Ramadhan Ibn Wati of the Cherokees in 1866.

Cities across the United States and Canada bear names that are of Indian and Islamic derivation. Have you ever wondered what the name Tallahassee means? It means that He Allah will deliver you sometime in the future.

Sura 10 - Yunus [Jonah] Verse 57-57:
57. يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ قَدْ جَاءَتْكُمْ مَوْعِظَةٌ مِنْ رَبِّكُمْ وَشِفَاءٌ لِمَا فِي الصُّدُورِ وَهُدًى وَرَحْمَةٌ لِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ

Sura 10 - Yunus [Jonah] Verse 57-57:
57. O mankind! there hath come to you a direction from your Lord and a healing for the (diseases) in your hearts,- and for those who believe, a guidance and a Mercy.


How I became a Muslim?
I grew up in the United States, Philadelphia Pa. I was raised as a Christian in the Baptist Church. My mother made me go to church every Sunday and on that day the only music that was allowed to be played was Gospel. I never liked church very much, it always seemed to me, to be a place for a fashion show. You had to wear you very best outfit and sit and check out everybody elses as they came through the door. I would see people nudging each other as they seen the people come through the door and gossiping about them or looking at them with their noses in the air. I noticed some were very uncomfortable about what they had on,because they knew they would be discussed after the service. I never liked that atmosphere.
Then it came time for the service, now was the preacher's time to show out. He would start slow and easy with the preaching and it would build up as he went along. Soon he would grab the Bible and start preaching and jumping up and down, sweat running everywhere. The people would get happy with him and start shouting and carrying on. And it never failed, when the people became excited like that, that they would pass around the money container,and out of being so fired up they would give all they had without even thinking about it. I never could understand why, when the preacher got excited, so did they. It never hit me like that, and I use to wonder why.

So I use to go home and start reading the Bible. I was sure I would find my answer in there as to why I wasn't like the rest of the Holy people. I really thought I wasn't doing something right. But as read the Bible, I never noticed any of their people in there ever jumping up and down and getting happy. I remember reading when Jesus was betrayed by one of his disciples named Judas and he(Jesus)went behind a mountain to pray. I can remember thinking, who is God (ASTAGHFIRULLAH) praying to? I knew something was wrong then. So I asked about this to my mother and grandmother and they would tell me he is praying to the Father. Well that threw me into total confusion and I went on that way until I was a teenager and concluded that church just wasn't for me. So I never was a religious person.

I use to notice the Muslim sisters walking along or on the bus, they stood out to me, I wanted to know what they were all about, but I didn't know how to approach them. I had a friend and she told me to greet them with assalaamu alaikum. So I said the next time I see a Muslim sister I would say that. She told me the Muslims have a book called the Holy Quran and that they don't eat pork. Neither one of us understood why they covered like that, but thought it was kind of neat. It made them stand out, and they always carried themselves so well.

One day I was on the bus going downtown and a Muslim sister got on the bus, and I greeted her with assalaamualaikum and she greeted me back,so I asked her where could I get a copy of the Holy Quran and she told me. The very next day I went and got one. When I started to read this book, it gave me a good feeling, I could understand it and I couldn't put it down.

I decided to go into the military and I took the Quran with me and continued to read it and told my army buddies about what it said. This continued for three years and I re-enlisted for two more years and went to Texas. My roomate was a Buddhist and I use to see her do her thing at a little box and she would chant and ring bells in front of candles. I told her I was interested in Islam and about what I was reading. One day she went out and when she came back she handed me a sheet of paper and said: Maybe you would be interested in this. It was about Islam and where they met at on Fridays. I took it and threw it in my locker.

About a day or two later I decided to go to this place and see what Islam was all about. I went and listened to the khutbah and liked very much what I was hearing. He was talking about the people and their behavior,and how the women dressed, and sex before marriage. It left a good impression on me and the sisters were so nice to me. They didn't try to convert me, but they invited me back. So that next friday I went back again and again I love the khutbah, what he was saying was a reality, it was true. The sisters told me they would be having a picnic at the park that next week and would like for me to join them and I accepted the invitation.

The next week arrived and off to the park we went. We arrived in the afternoon and I watched while the brothers covered the ground with white sheets. I thought to myself, this is where we will sit and eat. While the sisters and I were sitting on a bench a brother got up took off his shoes and stood in the middle of the sheets, put his hands up to his ears and started singing (at lest that's what i thought) and I said to myself: What on earth is he doing? I asked the sister close to me what was he doing and she said this is a call to prayer. Then I watched them as they made the Sunnah prayer. While one was standing up another was bending over and yet another had his face to the ground. I sat and observed. When they all had finished another brother came and called again to prayer, but this time everybody got up and made lines like we did in the army. One man was in front, while all other made were behind him in rows, just like we did in formation. The women were in the back farther away. And they started to pray. I had never seen anything so amazing in my whole entire life, I was so overwhelmed when I saw that.

I knew right then and there I wanted to be a Muslim. When the day was over I told them I would come back the next week and I did, but this time I told the sister I wanted to be a Muslim and they told their Imam and I took the shahadah. That was the happiest day of my life. All the sisters hugged me and congradulated me, I felt like I had been lifted into a new world and I never felt any difference until this very day. Al-hamdu lillahi rabbil 'alamin.

May Allah (SWT) guide us all to accept His decree. May Allah (SWT) make us all strong in following, practicing and accepting this great deen in its entirety, and may Allah (SWT) give us the strength, faith and support to fight our desires. Ameen!!!


Raja Ferrell
I am a revert. I became muslim on July 21st of 2000. One night I was sitting at this computer, thinking of nothing, watching my screensaver bouncing around. Then for no reason I started to cry. I felt pain in my heart so bad. Then I felt and somehow heard the word Islam.
Then I felt and or heard in my mind the word Muslim. Now since Jan 1 2000 I had felt the desire to change. And these changes came slow but dramatic. I quit drinking, smoking. I had the desire to cover. So I started wearing loose pants with big legs. Still I was kaffar as a kaffar can be. But on July 21st Allah thought I was ready. So as soon as these words went thru my heart I started searching online. I found out how to do shahada, I did it. I got in an Islamic chat room, of course there seemed to be everything in there but a muslim. I typed that I think I’m a Muslim, some made fun, others laughed. Then I got an Instant message from this brother. He asked if I was Muslim. I told him I think so, I did shahada, he said lets do it together, so he took me step by step thru shahada again, by then I was crying I was so happy and excited. It was like 4 in the morning, he told me to find a masjid and do shahada in front of Imam and the Imam would teach me Islam. I found one close 30 miles away, it was in a town called Riverdale. I didn’t tell anyone about my shahada, my husband came home and said, he had to go to Riverdale, my heart almost stopped, I told him I’m going too. After he took care of his business, I told him the directions to where I needed to be. We went there. The Imam was as excited as I was, he told me to bring my husband inside. I got him in there, I did shahada again. The Imam asked my husband if he knew what I had done, he said yes but he didn’t really know until later after it all hit him. The Imam told me to cover and gave me dress code hijab etc. I didn’t have the clothes, had a piece of cloth that covered my hair. I wore it. The Imam invited me to have breakfast with his wife. We went out, the women together and the brothers together. I was invited to some scholars that were with them. The imam’s wife gave me some clothes to wear, and hijabs, I was on my way. My husband flipped out late as he saw the transformation, I went from tight levis and short tops to abayas and hijab then a few months later to full hijab niqab, gloves etc.

Sura 7 - Al-Araf [The Heights] Verse 154-154:
154. وَلَمَّا سَكَتَ عَنْ مُوسَى الْغَضَبُ أَخَذَ الألْوَاحَ وَفِي نُسْخَتِهَا هُدًى وَرَحْمَةٌ لِلَّذِينَ هُمْ لِرَبِّهِمْ يَرْهَبُونَ

Sura 7 - Al-Araf [The Heights] Verse 154-154:
154. When the anger of Moses was appeased, he took up the tablets: in the writing thereon was guidance and Mercy for such as fear their Lord.


Saabirah Abdulhayy
Each single life is a unique, beautiful, gift from the One Who Creates. Insha’Llah, I shall never stop loving to sing the praises of my Creator (swt) and the Road that I’ve travelled and continue to travel until breath leaves this body. I was born Muslim, AlHumduli’Llah although I never knew that as I was raised Catholic Christian. There have been many trials with only one answer even when I didn’t know the question. There has been One Constant in my life and it is the Source of All...Allah (swt). Sometimes, that never-ending, “God, where are you?” caused difficulties, especially when I was growing up. Mother used to say (and still does) “Go to church once a week, say your prayers and then cut it out with all of your “God Stuff!” For me, that would have been like cutting off a limb. I have been a bit ill since 12 years old in that I’ve had epilepsy, which was difficult to control. I was married at age 22, had a child, and because of seizures, I was heavily medicated and seem to have lost 11 years of my life/memories. I recall my daughter at the age of 5 and then...she was 16. I became ill with pneumonia and in one day my lungs collapsed, liver failed and I slipped into a comatose state. The doctors resuscitated me and used life support for sustenance. My family was told that I would most likely live for not more than 3 days. AlHumduli’Llah, I didn’t know that I was “supposed to die” and one day I woke up!
My life took a turn. I worked as an office manager for a few years. When I was laid off, I went on retreat to seek Guidance and again asked God, “Where are You?” The official reason for the retreat was a passage from the Bible: “Ask and you shall receive; seek and you shall find; knock and the door will be opened to you”. When I left for that retreat, I made a “bargain with God.” I asked for His Guidance and in turn promised that after 10 days of prayer, I would return home to find God’s Will for me “in the mailbox!” Well, Allah (swt) came through and I found one letter about a pilgrimage to Israel. In Israel, I discovered Arabs and Muslims. “The Road Less Travelled” opened up to me and I was happy to walk it. After that first 10-day pilgrimage I returned to Israel by myself for what I believed would be 28 days for a time of prayer, searching, and coming to a better understanding of God and me. When the airplane landed I walked through Ben Gurion airport pushing my luggage in a trolley, wondering what would happen to me... alone in the Middle East! A very beautiful world opened up to me as I looked out at the desert, palm trees and people speaking strange languages...Hebrew and Arabic, neither of which I understood at all.

The trip from Ben Gurion Airport to Jerusalem was my very first experience of being totally on my own. The brilliant blue skies and gentle breezes spelled out “home” to me. After one day in Jerusalem I was off to Mt. Tabor for 11 days. My 40th birthday was on the exact same day as the 50th anniversary of the ordination of one of the Franciscan friars and the banquet and fireworks that were planned for that day were for us both! Looking out over the desert and across to Mt. Hermon was my morning activity. The sheep and goats with their bells meandered up the side of Mt. Tabor. Birds tweeted and sang their morning songs as the sun rose. It was summer and everything was in bloom. Flower petals marked the pages of my prayer books and journals instead of bookmarks. I cannot properly explain what it was and what was going on in me, but again, I felt as though “something” was calling.

After Mt. Tabor and the Church of the Transfiguration, I went down to Mt. Carmel. Ahh...the Mediterranean filling the horizon with such a blue/green! I lived in the Monastery of St. Terese with the Carmelite Sisters and Friars. I was a secular Discalced Carmelite at the time. It was our obligation to pray five times every day the “Liturgy of the Hours,” which is mainly the Psalms and a ritual standing and bowing... much like making Salaat. So, we rose with the sun. I wondered at the marvels and questions that were filling every piece of me. I was there for the feasts of Our Lady of Mt. Carmel and 3 days later, the feast of St. Elijah. The cave of Elijah is in the side of the mount overlooking the ocean. Jews and Muslims came for a week camping out in the huge yard in front of the monastery. Every year there is a great celebration for the Feast of Elijah the Prophet who fought the people of Baal, right there on Mt. Carmel. The Temple of Baal is still there almost next door to the Carmelite Monastery. The time on Mt. Carmel was like a dream and when my two weeks there was up I didn’t know what to do. I called to the US and they said, “You sound as though you want to stay, why don’t you change your ticket?” Well, they didn’t have to say it twice!

Going to Jerusalem was scary. I didn’t know the city and I’d yet to find my way around the small alleyways of the Old City (Al-Quds). There was a favourite spot at the coffee shop at the Notre Dame Center. I’d sit there and look out over the Old City’s minarets and steeples. The Dome of the Rock filled my gaze...so beautiful! After the 4 days that were reserved for me in the hotel I had to “hit the streets” in search of a new place to lay my head. The winding alleyways of al-Quds were like a labyrinth. I knew of one little house that was run by the Arab Rosary Sisters and went there pulling all of my belongings. The little Arab Sister said, “Sorry, we don’t have any room but you can leave your luggage while you go to look around the city.” So, I was off on the very old stone streets with the wall of al-Quds always on one side of me. As darkness began to fall and there was nowhere to sleep I recalled the words of the Psalm, “Though an army surround me, I shall not fear for Thou art with me.” I had lost my luggage and couldn’t find my way back to the morning’s house! Trudging down the dusty street I saw a familiar door built into the walls. It was strange in that it was open with night approaching. An Arab nun looked out as I was about to pass by and said, “Aren’t you Sabina? Someone told me that you were here in the morning. Come in, we have a place for you!” What a shock! Thus began the next months of communal meals with other travellers (who turned into “Jerusalem friends” over the next 7 years), hand washing clothes and singing as we hung them on the roof to dry, bargaining in the souq, and travelling the city in an attempt to soak in it’s glory.

My roommate Lena was Swedish. She worked at the Gaza Community Mental Health Program on weekends and was studying Arabic. That was where I learned of the plight of the Palestinians and first decided to plunge myself into the Arabic language. When my Visa ran out it was a teary “goodbye” and long flight back to the US. After a little while, I found myself back in al-Quds...my home. Money was tight so it was time to live life poorly in my beloved al-Quds. I learned every face, every smile, every shop’s owner and the merchants in the souq. I was known as “the woman with the beautiful dress” for the lovely Bedouin jalabiyya that I wore. Also, I was known as “the hard woman” because I’d learned to “bargain with the best of them!” I lived in a hostel (50 cents a night) and met Ismael who would become my teacher for writing Arabic. I didn’t know it at the time but the words that Ismael was teaching me to write were things like “ism” or “Malik” “al-ard.” He said, “Sabina, the best way to learn the Arabic language is with the Qur’an.”

I didn’t know what the Qur’an was! I had very little exposure to Islam. Ismael always said, “Sabina your Faith is beautiful and you love God. Don’t let anyone hurt that... only God is One.” “Do not forget Sabina... God is One.”

Things changed a bit. I was living inside the Walls of the Old City. My little room looked like a cave made from stone with a vaulted roof. Winters were freezing cold and wet. Spring cloaked the country in colors, summer was sweltering hot, and the fall was a less colorful version of spring. One year, a Carmelite priest that I knew took me to the Monastery of the Discalced Carmelite nuns on the Mount of Olives just there at the Grotto of the Pater Noster. I was already a member of a Catholic Discalced Carmelite community but thought to enter the monastery in Palestine/Israel. Life in the monastery was beautiful. The olive grove just out the window of my cell was huge with olive trees, grape vines, pomegranate bushes, fig trees, plum trees and a vegetable garden. Life was lived around the bells. We prayed every day, 5 times a day, and in the summer we prayed at the same times that the Adhan was calling Muslims to prayer. That was a very prayerful, solitary and thoughtful life. It afforded me much peace and lots of time for quiet thought. While in the monastery I wondered about God. I was overshadowed by a different and powerful Transcendence...I thought, “Where is God?” Now I know that He (swt) never left me for even a split second, Masha’Llah. Life in the monastery was typical of any other nun but I sensed there that my life needed to be out on the streets in the world. When I left the monastery it was a sad day but also the first day of the rest of my life. I went down to Jerusalem on Yom Kippur. After a short visit back to the US, I returned to al-Quds again...”for the rest of my life.”

The last stage of life in al-Quds I worked at the Syrian Catholic Patriarchate in East Jerusalem’s Muslim neighbourhood. The Syrian/Arab Christians are very suspicious of Muslims and I was told to make sure that all doors and windows were securely locked by nightfall because “they (Muslim neighbours) will sneak in and cut our throats while we sleep!” At that time I was working very hard doing manual work. I was the “foolish American” since I was not in the least afraid of Muslims; they were my friends. I was the one who cared for the Muslim women and children that came to our guesthouse. I also cleaned lots of bathrooms in the house, washed floors, and scrubbed the endless stairs on my hands and knees at least once a week In all there were 16 flights of stairs. I must have hung goodness knows how many sheets on the rooftop every morning. I liked going up on the roof just after waking to pray. Every morning at about 4:30 I went up to the roof and looked out over the Old City. My beloved Jerusalem! The Dome of the Rock is a sight that will live in my heart forever! I had been learning to write Arabic and copied everything that I saw.

One day I saw something on the wall of a coffee shop and it captivated me. I copied it. It was so beautiful that my fingers learned to write it without stopping at all. Every morning I used the tip of my finger to “write” the words in the blue sky. Soon, I asked Muslim friends what it was that I was writing and they told me, “That is a Surah, Surat al-Falaq.” A dear friend, Kamil, suggested that I go down into the souq and get a copy of the Qur’an, so I did.

The first thing that I looked for was Al-Falaq, and I read, “In the Name of God, the Merciful, the Compassionate. All of Creation seeks refuge in the Lord of the Daybreak”...just as I had been writing with my finger in the sky! “From the evil which He has created”...and I thought of the soldiers that patrolled Jerusalem. “And from the evil of the darkness when it descends”...was this my Muslim friends who would “sneak in and slit our throats”?! the riots in the streets and the sounds of the dark. “And from the evil of those who practice witchcraft, and from the evil of the envier when he envies”...the envious...what did I have to envy? Little did I know of the Gifts that Allah (swt) was showering on little me.

The days were beautiful after the work was done but because of the harsh chemicals that I had to use my feet and hands were callused and raw. The dry skin finally cracked leaving my hands bleeding when used very much. If I stood still in one place for too long my feet would become numb so that when beginning to walk it was agony. Sandals were permanently bloodstained from walking and irritating the cracks. I noticed that shop owners and produce vendors were avoiding me. I looked like a leper and a darned skinny one at that. The only thing that helped forget the pain was to look at the children and walk the narrow streets of the souq...up to the top of the Mt. of Olives...out to Ein Karim to sit up on the cliff overlooking the wadi...Nazareth and the Galilee! Tiberius and a boat trip across the Sea of Galilee to the Mount of Beatitudes! The Dead Sea where I went to swim. Gorgeous! Well...life was tough and life was beautiful. After going to Mass every evening I walked home to the patriarchate down the same dusty roads.

One evening as I walked in excruciating pain I talked to God. “My God, are You there? Do You really exist? I don’t know if I’m a Jew, Christian or Muslim or Atheist! My God...if You are there, I’m throwing everything that I’ve ever knew of You right here in this gutter. You have to teach me because I sense something but don’t know what it is!” With that I looked up at the sun setting over the golden Dome of the Rock...ah, Ya Allah! As I walked home I cried. It felt as though I had just attempted spiritual suicide and was falling off of the top of a cliff into a black abyss. I could feel myself “dropping” and knew that I would either land in the pits of Hell or...or...God could save me! My thoughts were that God is One...He transcends whatever anyone I’d heard had said. “Please God, Ya Allah take me!” was all that I could think.

After that I became ill. The Syrian Catholics were “not nice.” One day I was told to leave by afternoon...no more work. By evening I was back on the street pulling some luggage with me, some stored at a little house in the courtyard, and nowhere to sleep. Eventually I found a room in a hostel in East Jerusalem. After a few weeks my body froze up due to the lupus condition. The American Embassy made emergency arrangements to fly me back to the US to find some doctors. It was probably the saddest thing that could have happened. Just before I left I went back to the Notre Dame and had my usual cappuccino on the terrace with its beautiful view of the City. Sitting there I knew that it was a brief period that I would remember for the rest of my life. I looked out over the City at the Dome of the Rock with the Mt. of Olives rising behind it and prayed, “My God…Please do not let me die until I once again see al-Quds. My God, let Jerusalem live always in my heart.” I have never taken a photograph of al-Quds yet I can see it still.

When I returned to the US, after a while of being sick and unable to move, I got better, went to work and continued bumping up against the thoughts and feelings of Jerusalem. God was there in my life...and God was One, Al Quyyoom, the Transcendent. I missed hearing the Adhans echoing in the streets of Jerusalem...”Allahu Akbar…Allahu Akbar.” I missed the little children running to me calling, “Sabria, Sabria!” I missed my Muslim friends and I wondered, “Where is Allah?”

One morning just before work I was compelled to stand in my kitchen and asked Allah to be my witness as I said, “AshHadu ana La Illaha Illa Allah wa AshaHadu ana Muhammad Nabi waRasuulu.” I read al-Fatiha and al-Falaq and walked out my door in tears, overjoyed at the thought “I am Muslim! Allahu Akbar! My name had changed from Sabina or Sabria to Saabirah... the Patient one. Subhan Allah.

Salaamu Alaikum waRahmatulluh waBarakatuhu.

Sura 48 - Al-Fath [Victory, Conquest] Verse 28-28:
28. هُوَ الَّذِي أَرْسَلَ رَسُولَهُ بِالْهُدَى وَدِينِ الْحَقِّ لِيُظْهِرَهُ عَلَى الدِّينِ كُلِّهِ وَكَفَى بِاللَّهِ شَهِيدًا

Sura 48 - Al-Fath [Victory, Conquest] Verse 28-28:
28. It is He Who has sent His Messenger with Guidance and the Religion of Truth, to proclaim it over all religion: and enough is Allah for a Witness.


Shezreen Mubarak
What moved me to embrace Islam

My family are Roman Catholic but my mother doesn’t practise as she felt oppressed by it as a child in school. So she never got me christened but she planned to get me christened as a Protestant...
I believed in God and I had a go at reading the Bible and listened to the stories at school (I went to a mixed school; not one of those strict Catholic ones with the statues etc like my mum went to) but I was never settled and I always wanted to be something else. In school I wasn’t accepted by the “popular” group and I always tried to be individual and different, on the whole I felt confused and I hated myself. We had religious education lessons in school but we were never taught the truth, we were taught that Islam was a religion for Asian people and the Bible is our book and the Qur’an is theirs. Still I enjoyed the Islamic parts more than the others. Then when I was only thirteen, I started a pen friendship with a boy in Pakistan, he was nineteen and Muslim and my mother wasn’t to keen on the idea as I was very young at the time and she was worried that because he was Muslim, he might be pushy about his religion in the same way the people were in her school. But I saw that he was so different and so polite, he showed me that Islam wasn’t just a religion for Asian and Black people (like they said in school), it was a religion for everybody, and slowly I started changing my ways (eating, dressing etc) and Alhamdulillah when I was sixteen she gave us permission to get married, I did the Shahada then too and now I’m happy with my life, I don’t feel sad and confused anymore and I don’t hate myself now. When I reverted, I didn’t know much about Islam, and even though I learned more afterwards, I never came across anything that I’m not happy with or not sure about. Islam is the perfect way of life. Once a man who reverted to Islam was on TV and he said that when you become Muslim, you get a feeling that you have ‘come home’, and I really agree with that. Now my mother is happy about me becoming a Muslim, she was against it at first but after we went to Pakistan and met his family she started getting used to it. She didn’t become a Muslim though, Insha Allah one day.

Sura 40 - Al-Ghafir [The Forgiver [God] Verse 54-54:
54. هُدًى وَذِكْرَى لأولِي الألْبَابِ

Sura 40 - Al-Ghafir [The Forgiver [God] Verse 54-54:
54. A Guide and a Message to men of Understanding.

Sister Mardiyyah
I am a forty seven year old wife, mother of three and grandmother of one. I was born & brought up as a Methodist Christian. As a child I was Christened and sent to Sunday school, even becoming a Sunday school teacher. Both at Sunday school & day school I always came top in religious instruction exams. Even then though, I remember thinking that I wished I could really believe and accept Christianity wholeheartedly, but I always felt that something was wrong or something missing. Why if there was only one God did we worship Jesus? How if God was not human could he have a Son? Why did we refer to God as three- the Holy Trinity? As far as I was concerned God was God, on his own – Full Stop! My father’s family were not practising Christians but my mothers were. My great grandfather had even been responsible for the setting up of the Methodist Chapel in his village. This was the same chapel I attended and where my family were very well known and always treated with the utmost respect.
After I met my future husband, who told me he was an atheist, I stopped attending Chapel and teaching at the Sunday school. Over the next few years my husband & I had three children and like a lot of people I followed the traditions of my family and had them christened and sent them to Sunday school. I may not have agreed wholeheartedly with Christianity but I had nothing better to offer them. I attended weddings, christenings & burials and some Easter & Christmas Services and Chapel Anniversary

Services, always thinking that I really wanted to believe more than I did and always feeling something was missing.

Having three children my life was always busy and I didn’t really give much thought to religion on a day to day basis but then about fifteen years ago I became involved in local politics. Attending a party political conference, one of my fellow delegates was a Doctor, a Bangladeshi Muslim. We struck up a friendship and would talk, not just about Politics but many other things including religion. I had for some time admired things like Islamic buildings and art, I also liked the clothing that Indian women (not necessarily Muslim wore –Salwar Kameez, particularly the printed fabrics and scarves). From the few things I had learnt about Islam and Muslims from newspapers etc. I could see that my colleague was a pretty poor Muslim. I found out that he only prayed once a day, didn’t fast, and hadn’t been on Hajj, but this somehow got to me and I started reading anything and everything I could find about Islam.

Over the next ten or twelve years I had periods when I would read extensively and periods when I wouldn’t give it a thought. I quickly began to admire the ethics of Muslim families, the way children were taught respect for their elders, the way they all spoke up for each other. I also began to feel the need to speak up for them, it always appeared they were the ones to be persecuted.

About three years ago I realised that I was spending more and more time thinking about Islam and that without realising it I would steer conversations with friends around to this subject. I also noted that I was very slowly changing my own habits, dressing more discreetly, not drinking, praying (not as a Muslim), something I had not done for a very long time. I then found myself saying this is ridiculous I am not a Muslim I am a Christian and I would go out of my way to convince myself of this. I changed my job and went to work in London for the first time and made sure that I always went out with colleagues to bars and restaurants after work, I bought more showy clothes, I am sorry to say that I neglected my family duties, I was too tired to do housework and cooking. My husband & sons (my daughter had by now gone to University and set up home on her own) had to fend for themselves. My Muslim friend asked why I was doing this to my family and I told him about my feelings for Islam, I guess he wasn’t all bad as his response was to buy me an English translation of the Qu’ran. I was hooked!

January 2001 I made one last attempt to convince myself that I was not a Muslim, I changed my job again. This time to work for a West End theatre producer, even more partying. But it didn’t work and I quickly realised that I was making myself physically sick. I developed several different illnesses all with symptoms brought about (according to my doctor) by stress. I was taking several types of medication. One day at the beginning of September 2001 I was reading the Qu’ran when without realising what I was doing I said the Shahadah to myself and felt the most wonderful sense of completeness and a serenity I had never felt before. I made the decision there and then that I would find somewhere to really learn how to become a Muslim and to say Shahadah again, but this time in front of witnesses. My only worry was how I would find the courage and words to tell my family of my decision. I had been married for twenty-eight years by now but still didn’t really know what my husband’s beliefs were or how any of my family would react.

Imagine my horror therefore and I am sorry to say the anger I felt when I came back from lunch on 11th September to be confronted with pictures on the Internet of the planes flying into the world trade centre. Over the next few days and weeks I would hear people say that all Muslims were alike and that they should all be thrown out of the country etc, etc. I found myself defending them saying not all Muslims were terrorists any more than all Roman Catholics supported the IRA and were we going to throw out all Irish people. I soon realised however that now was not the time to break my news. I decided to keep it to myself. Ramadam came and I remembered that I had just a couple of months earlier imagined I would be fasting. I spent Christmas with my family as I have always done, this year cooking for twenty people. I travelled to Scotland two days before New Year only to spend new years eve travelling back to England, as I was unwell. We arrived home with fifteen minutes to spare before midnight and I made a resolution that I would give up my job in London and work part time locally so that I would have time to learn Arabic and really make the effort to become a good Muslim.

I decided to write to two local Mosques. I desperately wanted to learn how to pray as a Muslim but knew that I couldn’t just walk into a Mosque. I was terrified I would do something wrong and really offend someone or that they would be really un-welcoming. I got no response from either of my letters. One day however I found a book with a rough outline of a prayer in – I think the book was meant for school children- but anyhow I followed the instructions and prayed. I knew then I had made the right decision. I also knew I had to find the courage to tell my family, but how? It was at this time that I sent two emails which were to be the most important of my life. One was to a site for new converts and one was to an Islamic Centre in a nearby town. To my amazement they were both answered. Within two weeks of this I was to meet two amazing groups of people who welcomed me into their midst. Within a month I had said Shahadah in front of witnesses as I had hoped for.

I was now a Muslim and somehow I had to find a way of telling my family. I now had a son in law and a grandson as well as my own children. A Jewish son in law in fact albeit non-practising. One evening when I was reading the Qu’ran, before I had had a chance to tell my husband he asked when I was going to change my faith. He was very shocked to begin with but we talked and I told him how happy I felt and that I hoped he would try to understand and to find out why I had come to this decision. I think he has coped amazingly well especially as I had felt a need to wear Hijab almost immediately, probably because it has taken me so many years to get this far.

My children seem to have accepted the changes I have made, although like their father they find the wearing of Hijab rather strange but they are persevering and have actually commented on how much happier and relaxed I seem.

My son in law has actually been the one who has so far shown the most interest, asking questions about various aspects, and although he has reservations about explaining to my grandson why I wear a scarf and his own mother doesn’t, he is trying hard to be accepting. Unfortunately it has been my daughter who is most against it. Unfortunately some years ago she had a relationship of her own with a Muslim guy who didn’t treat her very well and I feel this has coloured her judgement.

As for my husband we have now talked and I have found that his own beliefs are not that dissimilar to my own, but he just believes that religion should be private and that in this modern age we should keep our beliefs to ourselves and not go out of our way to make our beliefs obvious to others i.e. wearing Hijab.

Slowly our lives are changing, there are those who say I should move quicker and can’t do this or that any more, but I know my family and if I want them to accept Islam for themselves I know I have to be patient.

Sura 42 - Ash-Shura [Council, Consultation] Verse 23-23:
23. ذَلِكَ الَّذِي يُبَشِّرُ اللَّهُ عِبَادَهُ الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ قُلْ لا أَسْأَلُكُمْ عَلَيْهِ أَجْرًا إِلا الْمَوَدَّةَ فِي الْقُرْبَى وَمَنْ يَقْتَرِفْ حَسَنَةً نَزِدْ لَهُ فِيهَا حُسْنًا إِنَّ اللَّهَ غَفُورٌ شَكُورٌ

Sura 42 - Ash-Shura [Council, Consultation] Verse 23-23:
23. That is (the Bounty) whereof Allah gives Glad Tidings to His Servants who believe and do righteous deeds. Say: "No reward do I ask of you for this except the love of those near of kin." And if any one earns any good, We shall give him an increase of good in respect thereof: for Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Ready to appreciate (service).


Sister Mardiyyah
I am a forty seven year old wife, mother of three and grandmother of one. I was born & brought up as a Methodist Christian. As a child I was Christened and sent to Sunday school, even becoming a Sunday school teacher. Both at Sunday school & day school I always came top in religious instruction exams. Even then though, I remember thinking that I wished I could really believe and accept Christianity wholeheartedly, but I always felt that something was wrong or something missing. Why if there was only one God did we worship Jesus? How if God was not human could he have a Son? Why did we refer to God as three- the Holy Trinity? As far as I was concerned God was God, on his own – Full Stop! My father’s family were not practising Christians but my mothers were. My great grandfather had even been responsible for the setting up of the Methodist Chapel in his village. This was the same chapel I attended and where my family were very well known and always treated with the utmost respect.
After I met my future husband, who told me he was an atheist, I stopped attending Chapel and teaching at the Sunday school. Over the next few years my husband & I had three children and like a lot of people I followed the traditions of my family and had them christened and sent them to Sunday school. I may not have agreed wholeheartedly with Christianity but I had nothing better to offer them. I attended weddings, christenings & burials and some Easter & Christmas Services and Chapel Anniversary

Services, always thinking that I really wanted to believe more than I did and always feeling something was missing.

Having three children my life was always busy and I didn’t really give much thought to religion on a day to day basis but then about fifteen years ago I became involved in local politics. Attending a party political conference, one of my fellow delegates was a Doctor, a Bangladeshi Muslim. We struck up a friendship and would talk, not just about Politics but many other things including religion. I had for some time admired things like Islamic buildings and art, I also liked the clothing that Indian women (not necessarily Muslim wore –Salwar Kameez, particularly the printed fabrics and scarves). From the few things I had learnt about Islam and Muslims from newspapers etc. I could see that my colleague was a pretty poor Muslim. I found out that he only prayed once a day, didn’t fast, and hadn’t been on Hajj, but this somehow got to me and I started reading anything and everything I could find about Islam.

Over the next ten or twelve years I had periods when I would read extensively and periods when I wouldn’t give it a thought. I quickly began to admire the ethics of Muslim families, the way children were taught respect for their elders, the way they all spoke up for each other. I also began to feel the need to speak up for them, it always appeared they were the ones to be persecuted.

About three years ago I realised that I was spending more and more time thinking about Islam and that without realising it I would steer conversations with friends around to this subject. I also noted that I was very slowly changing my own habits, dressing more discreetly, not drinking, praying (not as a Muslim), something I had not done for a very long time. I then found myself saying this is ridiculous I am not a Muslim I am a Christian and I would go out of my way to convince myself of this. I changed my job and went to work in London for the first time and made sure that I always went out with colleagues to bars and restaurants after work, I bought more showy clothes, I am sorry to say that I neglected my family duties, I was too tired to do housework and cooking. My husband & sons (my daughter had by now gone to University and set up home on her own) had to fend for themselves. My Muslim friend asked why I was doing this to my family and I told him about my feelings for Islam, I guess he wasn’t all bad as his response was to buy me an English translation of the Qu’ran. I was hooked!

January 2001 I made one last attempt to convince myself that I was not a Muslim, I changed my job again. This time to work for a West End theatre producer, even more partying. But it didn’t work and I quickly realised that I was making myself physically sick. I developed several different illnesses all with symptoms brought about (according to my doctor) by stress. I was taking several types of medication. One day at the beginning of September 2001 I was reading the Qu’ran when without realising what I was doing I said the Shahadah to myself and felt the most wonderful sense of completeness and a serenity I had never felt before. I made the decision there and then that I would find somewhere to really learn how to become a Muslim and to say Shahadah again, but this time in front of witnesses. My only worry was how I would find the courage and words to tell my family of my decision. I had been married for twenty-eight years by now but still didn’t really know what my husband’s beliefs were or how any of my family would react.

Imagine my horror therefore and I am sorry to say the anger I felt when I came back from lunch on 11th September to be confronted with pictures on the Internet of the planes flying into the world trade centre. Over the next few days and weeks I would hear people say that all Muslims were alike and that they should all be thrown out of the country etc, etc. I found myself defending them saying not all Muslims were terrorists any more than all Roman Catholics supported the IRA and were we going to throw out all Irish people. I soon realised however that now was not the time to break my news. I decided to keep it to myself. Ramadam came and I remembered that I had just a couple of months earlier imagined I would be fasting. I spent Christmas with my family as I have always done, this year cooking for twenty people. I travelled to Scotland two days before New Year only to spend new years eve travelling back to England, as I was unwell. We arrived home with fifteen minutes to spare before midnight and I made a resolution that I would give up my job in London and work part time locally so that I would have time to learn Arabic and really make the effort to become a good Muslim.

I decided to write to two local Mosques. I desperately wanted to learn how to pray as a Muslim but knew that I couldn’t just walk into a Mosque. I was terrified I would do something wrong and really offend someone or that they would be really un-welcoming. I got no response from either of my letters. One day however I found a book with a rough outline of a prayer in – I think the book was meant for school children- but anyhow I followed the instructions and prayed. I knew then I had made the right decision. I also knew I had to find the courage to tell my family, but how? It was at this time that I sent two emails which were to be the most important of my life. One was to a site for new converts and one was to an Islamic Centre in a nearby town. To my amazement they were both answered. Within two weeks of this I was to meet two amazing groups of people who welcomed me into their midst. Within a month I had said Shahadah in front of witnesses as I had hoped for.

I was now a Muslim and somehow I had to find a way of telling my family. I now had a son in law and a grandson as well as my own children. A Jewish son in law in fact albeit non-practising. One evening when I was reading the Qu’ran, before I had had a chance to tell my husband he asked when I was going to change my faith. He was very shocked to begin with but we talked and I told him how happy I felt and that I hoped he would try to understand and to find out why I had come to this decision. I think he has coped amazingly well especially as I had felt a need to wear Hijab almost immediately, probably because it has taken me so many years to get this far.

My children seem to have accepted the changes I have made, although like their father they find the wearing of Hijab rather strange but they are persevering and have actually commented on how much happier and relaxed I seem.

My son in law has actually been the one who has so far shown the most interest, asking questions about various aspects, and although he has reservations about explaining to my grandson why I wear a scarf and his own mother doesn’t, he is trying hard to be accepting. Unfortunately it has been my daughter who is most against it. Unfortunately some years ago she had a relationship of her own with a Muslim guy who didn’t treat her very well and I feel this has coloured her judgement.

As for my husband we have now talked and I have found that his own beliefs are not that dissimilar to my own, but he just believes that religion should be private and that in this modern age we should keep our beliefs to ourselves and not go out of our way to make our beliefs obvious to others i.e. wearing Hijab.

Slowly our lives are changing, there are those who say I should move quicker and can’t do this or that any more, but I know my family and if I want them to accept Islam for themselves I know I have to be patient.

Sura 42 - Ash-Shura [Council, Consultation] Verse 23-23:
23. ذَلِكَ الَّذِي يُبَشِّرُ اللَّهُ عِبَادَهُ الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ قُلْ لا أَسْأَلُكُمْ عَلَيْهِ أَجْرًا إِلا الْمَوَدَّةَ فِي الْقُرْبَى وَمَنْ يَقْتَرِفْ حَسَنَةً نَزِدْ لَهُ فِيهَا حُسْنًا إِنَّ اللَّهَ غَفُورٌ شَكُورٌ

Sura 42 - Ash-Shura [Council, Consultation] Verse 23-23:
23. That is (the Bounty) whereof Allah gives Glad Tidings to His Servants who believe and do righteous deeds. Say: "No reward do I ask of you for this except the love of those near of kin." And if any one earns any good, We shall give him an increase of good in respect thereof: for Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Ready to appreciate (service).


Sister Jan Jackson
This is the story of my conversion to Islam.
Before I begin, let me say that I don’t believe my story is particularly special, in that there are many stories like it. However, as I believe that God wrought a miracle in my life (as He has in many others) then of course it IS special.

I guess there are two ways to tell my story. You could say: “I met a man who introduced me to Islam. I converted, and we married.” But that is a gross simplification.

You could also say it this way…

I am a 48 year old Australian. I was raised a Catholic and am still grateful for the religious upbringing my parents gave me. They were practising Catholics who imparted their faith to me and I attended a Catholic school. From this education I did gain a ‘version’ of God and a ‘kind of’ spiritual sense, but these were both so vague and inaccessible as to never touch my heart. The doctrine of Christianity never really sat comfortably with me. It was like a coat that doesn’t fit. I wore it but it never felt right and by the time I was about 20, I was happier taking the coat off. Sadly, I didn’t wear a coat at all for the next 25 years.

During that time I lived a comfortable, privileged life, in the ‘western lifestyle’ sense – financially secure, educated and trained, healthy, with no major crises in my life. I married. I worked. I travelled. I indulged myself. Food, wine, entertainment, weekends away, fancy hotels, overseas trips. Eat, drink and be merry. Having no children, I had no real responsibilities. I sought mainly to entertain myself, and have a good time.

From where I am standing now, that period just seems like a life without purpose, and it’s truly painful for me to look back and see 25 years of a Godless life.

Then, about five years ago, God gave me the opportunity to reassess my life, alhamdulillah. My personal circumstances changed drastically. My beloved father died tragically, my marriage broke up painfully, my income was significantly reduced and I was living alone. I was forced to take stock, reflect and reassess my life. And I found myself in a thoroughly meaningless void.

Around this time I began to read all kinds of material on all kinds of religions. I tried to revive my Catholicism, but it was useless. It did not feel real or sincere. I felt no sense of connection.

At this time I met, and had a very important conversation with, a Muslim brother, my neighbour who later became my husband. At this time I knew absolutely nothing about Islam. All my reading (on Christianity, Judaism, Buddhism, Sikhism, etc) seemed to have taken me down every path EXCEPT Islam. So when I asked him about HIS religion he said: “It is a beautiful religion, a simple religion, part of life.” His quiet, composed, assured conviction struck me. Here was someone who was so quietly certain about his religion that it needed nothing more than these simple few words to provide an answer, an answer that seemed whole and complete. And here was someone who described his religion as “beautiful”. I had never encountered this before. Religion had always been a duty, or an institution, something to be learned or endured, something burdensome and complicated and problematic – not something “beautiful”. It struck my heart in a way I do not really understand. But I have to say that it was one of those defining moments of one’s life – something irreversible happened.

So then it began. I decided to try and learn about Islam. I asked around, tentatively at first…… I bought books and read, I browsed websites, and I started to scan my environment for anything Islamic – not difficult living in Brunswick, Melbourne. I went to an information day at Preston mosque. I obtained a copy of the Qur’an from a book sale at the Islamic Council of Victoria. The more I read the Qur’an the more I became convinced of the truth of the Qur’anic revelations. I read books on the life of the Prophet (Peace be upon him) and became convinced that he was the last in a line of prophets before him, and a true messenger of Allah. I tried fasting in Ramadan and saw it as a real test of whether or not I meant business. But the experience strengthened my intent. I discovered for myself the benefits, and I felt one with the brotherhood and sisterhood of all fasting Muslims around the world.

But the most powerful experience for me at this time was discovering the act of prayer. I bought a book which taught me how to pray….. and I have to say that from the moment I first bowed in prayer in the Muslim way, I felt connected to my Creator, for the first time in my life, and I wept with joy.

I’ve heard many new Muslims say what I’m about to say but it was so true for me. From the time I opened my mind to the possibility of becoming a Muslim, I kept encountering things that spurred me on. And it was as if they were put there especially for me. And one thing would lead to another. A newspaper article might lead to a website. A chance encounter to a bookshop. A book to another book. A website to a conversation. This information gathering was such an important time. Because when I look back it was critical what I read and who I spoke to. I did not rely on my future husband to provide information. Quite the opposite. I was determined to separate my pursuit of Islam from him. I needed to be clear about my intentions - that I wasn’t pursuing Islam to please him or gain his approval. So I sought out other Muslims. One day I went to Friday prayer at Preston mosque. I was terrified. It took every bit of effort to get myself in that door. And there I met two sisters who were like angels planted there for me, who took me under their wings. I owe a great deal to them, and to every other Muslim I have met in the few years because all of them have inspired and supported me in the warmest and gentlest and most generous of ways.

I said my shahada in Ramadan in December 1999, just before the new millennium ticked over.

Around this time I was introduced to the Revert Support Group, operating in Melbourne, which has been a great help and support to me, as a source of information and a sharing of knowledge and experience, and a way of meeting other new Muslims.

Increasingly I learned the value of prayer. I learned that to worship God regularly strengthens one’s commitment and sense of connection. It helps to set up an ongoing dialogue with God, a consciousness of God that starts to become more frequent, more natural, a remembering or mindfulness of God throughout your day. Prayer acts as a reminder that you are a part of God’s creation, and only a tiny part at that. You are reminded of your place in time and the universe. You cannot pray without feeling humility. It is impossible. I also learned that the frequency of prayer forces you to monitor your actions more closely, makes you more vigilant of your behaviour, and helps you to keep the concerns and preoccupations of everyday routine in perspective.

So why Islam over Christianity? (as my Christian friends ask)…

Throughout my Christian upbringing, despite the emphasis on Jesus Christ, I never really conceptualised him as God. I thought of him as an historical figure only, not a divine being. And I had great difficulty with the concept of the Holy Trinity. This concept for me obscured the path to God. On the other hand the concept of Tawheed in Islam, the oneness of God, is a concept that I can fully embrace.

For me Islam is a beautiful religion because it is simple and clear, and woven into the fabric of everyday life. For me, it is not bogged down in the doctrines and dogmas of other religious traditions. I was so impressed by the fact that to actually ‘become’ a Muslim you need only believe it in your heart and make the declaration of faith – no instructions, no indoctrinations, no sacraments, no initiations, no tests.

Islam is full of ritual as we know – but I love the fact that the ritual is incorporated into simple acts of everyday life – in eating, washing, speaking, praying (not high ‘pomp and ceremony’ ritual). When I first started mixing with Muslims I loved to keep hearing the word ‘Allah’ on everyone’s lips, and with no self-consciousness. You can go weeks, months, even years in a Christian community and never hear the word ‘God’ mentioned! Here’s a story that illustrates that. Around the time I first started to explore Islam I went with my mother to a Catholic function. It was an informal forum with speakers and discussion, entitled “God in our society”. I listened for three hours and not once was the word “God” actually spoken! except when a nun got up at the conclusion of the night to say “thank you to our speakers and thanks be to God”. This was the only time I heard the word and the evening was over. As everyone clapped, I wanted to shout “Wait. Aren’t you missing something here?!”

Another aspect of Islam that draws me to it is that Islam is a “bigger ask”, more demanding. By that I don’t just mean that it is more demanding in its discipline and its ritual, in its prayer and fasting and dietary requirements (abstinence from alcohol, etc). Rather I mean it is larger and more demanding in its focus, its vision, its scope.

Personally speaking, I find the Christian message of love one another to be something of a “given”. It goes without saying that we should love one another. Whilst I would not wish to offend any Christian readers, or make a generalisation, but in my own experience I have found the Christian way of life today (increasingly) to be simply a kind of humanitarianism which allows the person to customize or tailorize their religion to suit themselves – love one another, don’t hurt anyone and do your own thing – and it seems to concentrate on this life, narrow its focus to this earth and this existence. For me the Islamic message has quite a different emphasis, and is something way beyond this – it is attention to God – love your fellow man, of course, live as well as you can, of course – but use every bit of your limited capability to try and understand, comprehend, love and know and serve God. Islam demands that we focus on more than this life, and beyond this life.

I found this “bigger ask” in the Qur’an as well. For me the beauty of the Qur’an is the scope that it encompasses. It insists that we try and contemplate time and beyond, the universe and beyond, creation and beyond. It asks us to reflect on creation, the prophetic revelations, destiny, the beginning of life, the end of life and the day of judgement. In so doing, we try to grasp the hugeness of everything beyond ourselves, the magnificence of God.

I feel so happy and so blessed to have had my life transformed. In committing to the Islamic way I have found meaning and significance in everyday life, and a consequent peace that follows from this. And I feel I have experienced the miracle of seeing myself as part of creation and time and God’s plan, and the consequent joy that follows from this. I thank God. Alhamdulillah. And I praise Allah Subhanallah.

Sura 56 - Al-Waqia [The Event, The Inevitable] Verse 95-95:
95. إِنَّ هَذَا لَهُوَ حَقُّ الْيَقِينِ

Sura 56 - Al-Waqia [The Event, The Inevitable] Verse 95-95:
95. Verily, this is the Very Truth and Certainly.


Sister Hayam
I was Christian orthodox just 4 years. I became Christian not because I believed in Jesus but because everybody was Christian around me. After I had gone to Italy where most of the people are Christian catholic I had big problem there and gone to die. When I was near death I prayed to Allah (swt) one month to safe my life and promised Allah (swt) that if he safe my life I will spend the rest of my life just for him. To worship him, to accept his will always and follow his way, to help people, and live just for him. That I wont have my own desires and wants and my desires and wants will be his will.
I never prayed to Jesus when I was Christian. I prayed to God. After that Allah (swt) saved my life and little by little I became better Alhamdolillah. I began to search for the truth in religion, and I didn’t find that truth in Christianity orthodox. After I studied Christianity catholic and didn’t find the truth here also. After that I thought I will be always alone and will follow my own way different than the others. I searched for the truth and rules of Allah (swt) in my own life. I analysed every situation and tried to get knowledge. Tried to feel what Allah (swt) wants from me and tried to follow his will. This period Allah (swt) gave me many tests and difficult situations, which I passed just because I listened to Allah (swt). I don’t know if u will understand what I mean by “listen”. Its not voice but its feeling. It comes like knowledge without words and makes me understand what I have to do and where to go. It is this feeling that makes me understand the truth from lie and if I am right or wrong, also I looked for signs in my life to show if my feeling is right or wrong.

And alhamdolillah there were many signs that showed me my feeling is right and after that I saw I was really right. I found most of the rules in Islam by just analysing my life and listening to Allah (swt) and looking for his signs. First I found if something is wrong and after I found why it’s wrong. I mean first was feeling and after was the explanation. After that by chance I met Muslim man online who wanted to marry me. I tried to go to him but everything happened to stop me, so I was sure he is not the right man for me. (By the way it was funny that all men wanted to marry me and tried to come to me always had something to stop them till I found my husband. He was the only one met me and I was sure he is the right man for me alhamdolilllah). But this made me interested from Muslims and Islam, I began to talk to many Muslims. One night I gone to die again, this time the phone rang and it was my close friend from Saudia. I haven’t power to talk and when he felt I feel very bad he told me to listen to him, I haven’t choice anyway I haven’t power to talk, so he began recite something in Arabic, as he told me after it was Qur’an. When he finished I felt so good and I asked him what were that words who saved my life. He said it was Qur’an. I got strange feeling when he recited, like yellow light came in my heart and made me feel strong and calm. It’s made me interested to read Qur’an, I found Bulgarian translation of Qur’an (because I am Bulgarian by the way) and began to read. I was more than shocked when I found the same rules I already knew of God and much more I still didn’t know. When I tested the text with my heart if its truth I found this is 100% truth.

Before always when I read something I found there is truth but there are much not true things too. I never read or heard before 100% truth. I thought there is not book or religion which is 100% true, but alhamdolillah I found Islam is that religion and Qur’an is that book. So I decided to convert.

Began reading online sites about Islam and found many good brothers and sisters helped me so much alhamdolillah. After I met my husband who is Muslim too. It was the last sign from Allah (swt) showed me I have to convert. So 3 days before I married I gone with my husband to convert in Cairo. When I walked to the place to convert I felt like my power finished, like I will fall down and prayed in my mind to Allah (swt) if he wants me to be Muslim to give me power to go to convert. After I gone there and said shahada in front of the Sheikh, my husband and his brother, I saw something dark gone from me, was like black clothes, it wasn’t material but I could see like black smoke gone out from me. After that I felt like light is coming out of me, it was incredible. For just one minute I changed so much alhamdolillah. My husband told me that Allah (swt) forgave all my sins and I am clean like baby, when he said that I understood that the smoke I saw gone out from me were my sins.(I didn’t know I have so much sins) So then I began to live like Muslim and learn as much as I can about Islam.

My life became better alhamdolillah.

Sura 61 - As-Saff [The Ranks, Battle Array] Verse 9-9:
9. هُوَ الَّذِي أَرْسَلَ رَسُولَهُ بِالْهُدَى وَدِينِ الْحَقِّ لِيُظْهِرَهُ عَلَى الدِّينِ كُلِّهِ وَلَوْ كَرِهَ الْمُشْرِكُونَ

Sura 61 - As-Saff [The Ranks, Battle Array] Verse 9-9:
9. It is He Who has sent His Messenger with Guidance and the Religion of Truth, that he may proclaim it over all religion, even though the Pagans may detest (it).


Jameka Neil
I will say right away that I am very young. I am only 18, and that fact seems to astound most people. I think it is proof that we are never too young to begin looking for God, or to understand His truth.
I was raised Christian, nondenominational. We were never big churchgoers, but we always knew who our God was and what our obligation was to Him. In my living room to this day hangs a big velvet painting of Jesus as a black man. That left a huge imprint on me, because it made God real to me. Not only did he come to earth as a man, but also he was black like me.

In my preteen years I was a crusader for Christ. I wanted to convert the world and save souls. I believed blindly 100% in everything that was given to me by the Bible and my pastor/youth leader. Then one day I ran across something in the Bible that didn’t sound anything like the God who I had learned to love and obey. I thought perhaps I was just too young to understand and took it to a more knowledgeable Christian who confirmed that it was what I thought it was. My world fell apart.

I read the Bible, cover-to-cover, and marked along the way all of the things that were contradictory or ungodly. By the time I got to revelations I had a large segment of the Bible marked as invalid. So, thinking maybe I needed to look at it in a historical perspective I did my history work. There I found even more hypocrisy, blasphemy, and human tampering with Holy Scriptures. What shocked me was the story of the council of Nice where human men “divinely guided” decided which text would be in the Bible and which ones needed editing.

I also had to ask myself how God could be three and one at the same time. What happens to a good man like Ghandi when he dies without Jesus? Does Hitler get to go to heaven if he accepts Christ as his lord and saviour? What about those who have never been exposed to Christianity? I was once told that the trinity was part of the essence of God and that since the breadth and scope of God is beyond my understanding I should simply believe. I couldn’t worship a God I couldn’t understand.

I never lost my faith in God, I just decided that Christianity was not the right path for me to travel. I felt no kinship with fellow believers. I never felt anything special while attending service except that I was doing an obligatory service to God. So I wandered faithless, looking for something to hold on to. In my search I found Wicca, the Bahai faith, and finally Islam.

I studied Islam quietly, on my own, in secret, for two years. I wanted to be able to separate fact from fiction. I did not want to confuse Islam with the cultures that claim to practice Islam while instituting things that are clearly against all that Allah has revealed to us. I wanted to make the distinction between the religion and the societies that adopted it. That took time and patience. I met a lot of helpful brothers and sisters via e-mail who answered all of my questions and opened their lives up for me to examine.

I never liked the image that I was handed as to what a woman was. In popular culture we are portrayed as very sexy, lady like, independent enough so that men have no real responsibility toward us or the children they help create, but dependant enough that we are continually in search of a new man. The average woman on the street is honked at, whistled at, has had her butt or breasts pinched, slapped, rubbed, or ogled by some strange man. I never agreed with any of that and never found a “come on” flattering.

In Christianity I was taught that as a woman I should not teach in church or question the authority of any man in public. The picture painted of women in Christianity was one of inferiority. We were supposed to be chaste and silent with children about our feet. In Islam I found a voice, a system that gave me ultimate respect for being a mother and acknowledged the fact that I was equal to man in every way except one: physical strength. The hadith are littered with stories of women who spoke publicly and Islamic history is full of women who were leaders. It was a theology that I could respect because it respected me.

I had to ask myself if I really wanted to be like all of the people I saw around me. Who was really oppressed? The girl wearing skin-tight jeans getting catcalls from boys rolling by in cars was not free. She was society’s whore and she got no respect. I was thankful that my mother had never allowed me to wear such things, not that I ever wanted to, but her disapproval was an added incentive. After examining the position of the Muslim woman and what I felt to be truth in my heart, how could I deny Islam?

Six weeks ago I made the decision to convert to Islam. I did so and have not looked back since. My friends respect it because they see that it has not changed who I am and what I stand for, in fact it has backed it up. My advise to any woman out there is to ask herself these questions:

What do you want your daughter to believe about herself?

How should she allow herself to be treated?

Is she really born with evil tendencies because she is a descendant of Eve?

How do you want her to feel about her body?

What are you modelling for her?

What image of womanhood are you promoting?

How do men treat you and how do you allow yourself to be treated?

Sura 29 - Al-Ankaboot [The Spider] Verse 69-69:
69. وَالَّذِينَ جَاهَدُوا فِينَا لَنَهْدِيَنَّهُمْ سُبُلَنَا وَإِنَّ اللَّهَ لَمَعَ الْمُحْسِنِينَ

Sura 29 - Al-Ankaboot [The Spider] Verse 69-69:
69. And those who strive in Our (cause),- We will certainly guide them to our Paths: For verily Allah is with those who do right.


James / Jamal Lutfi
I was raised in a Mormon family (my father was a Bishop) but also attended a Pentecostal Church. I converted to Islam about two years ago. My parents converted to Mormonism (LDS Church) when I was only 3 and so it was the only religion I knew up until I was a teenager. I lived in Central Florida (Bible Belt) where there was little tolerance for Mormons, much less Muslims.
I really tried to get a grip on the Mormon faith. I went on Temple trips to do the baptisms for the dead, I read the Book of Mormon, I prayed, etc.... However, I never received that testimony they always talked about. Sometimes I think we can convince ourselves of anything (gain a testimony) if we tell ourselves we want to believe something enough. I became so frustrated with teaching in the Mormon Church and nobody could answer my questions (why could African Americans not hold the priesthood until 1976, why would God curse someone with darker skin, why could Jesus create wine but we are forbidden to drink it, why could we not drink coca cola through my whole childhood and then when the Church gets stock in the company we can drink it and nothing is wrong). I left the church with much heartache.

I used to go with my friend to his Catholic Church but that made no sense to me at all.

The first time I heard of Islam from a Muslim was when I was in the Army training as a radio repair technician. While training we had a soldier from the Jordanian Army training with us, I believe his name was Sergeant Mutasum. I thought Islam was somewhat like Hinduism so I questioned him about how many gods he believed in and what he thought of Jesus (peace be upon him). I was really shocked when I found his beliefs were not all that different from mine except he believed in a Prophet named Muhammad (peace be upon him). I lost track of the Sergeant after the school ended and never thought much of Islam after that day. While in the Army I attended a small Pentecostal Church a few times and thought I would give it a go when I got out.

After leaving the Army I met some people that were Pentecostal and decided to join the “mainstream” Christian community. The people seemed really friendly and well intentioned. After about a year of going there I began to question again. Why were these people so caught up in emotion with no theological study? How could Jesus be God and make claims against it? What was this speaking in tongues nonsense, the people did not understand what they were saying? I felt there was more to the religion that Jesus left but I didn’t know where to find it. I quit the Pentecostal Church and went back to Mormonism.

Later in my life I travelled to Ogden, Utah to go to Weber State University. I wanted to give the Mormon Church another try. I signed up for religious classes at the LDS institute. I was not on a pilgrimage to get a theological degree but I wanted to be in the Mormon stronghold where I was not a minority. I really liked going to college and started going to Church regularly. While there I met a woman in an institute class. After one year of school and a stronger belief in the Mormon faith I decided to get married and it was sealed in the Salt Lake City temple. Everything was perfect, or so I thought.

After a few weeks of marriage I began to feel those thoughts of doubt about the Mormon Church and what they taught. I tried to believe so hard but it is difficult when the teachings are so contrary to what I perceived God to be. Can a man become a God? Can a God become a man? Can I create my own world one day? etc.... My ex-wife and I got along perfectly except in the area of religion. Eventually, after 4 years, we separated quite amicably and were better off. I felt that my lack of faith tore her down and I could not believe some of what I considered non-sense.

After my divorce I began searching the Internet for truth. I joined chat rooms on religion and joined in discussion boards. I met some Muslims and was fascinated. The beliefs they held were so close to mine. I did not believe Jesus was God, I believed Jesus was more than a normal man (a Messenger). After talking online I wanted to go meet some real Muslims so I went to a Mosque in Tempe, Arizona (next to Phoenix). While there I met a group of American Converts that were doing Dawah (basically telling people about Islam). They were just getting ready to leave when I walked in and told them I wanted to learn more about Islam. I told them where I stood and that I already believed much of what they did. After a long discussion and a study from the Quran and Bible I came to conclusion that I was a Muslim at heart, it was my parents that has raised me with those beliefs contrary to Islam. I told them I wanted to take my Shahadah (declaration of faith) and I embraced Islam that day. Imagine my surprise when the first time for Jummah came (Friday, the congregational day for Muslims to gather) and the Imam (leader) announced my conversion to Islam. I had hundreds of people giving me their phone numbers, hugging me, and accepting me as their brother. That brother hood and my faith have not wavered to this day. Anytime I have a question it is answered and that is the beauty of Islam.

Sura 39 - Az-Zumar [The Troops, Throngs] Verse 18-18:
18. الَّذِينَ يَسْتَمِعُونَ الْقَوْلَ فَيَتَّبِعُونَ أَحْسَنَهُ أُولَئِكَ الَّذِينَ هَدَاهُمُ اللَّهُ وَأُولَئِكَ هُمْ أُولُو الألْبَابِ

Sura 39 - Az-Zumar [The Troops, Throngs] Verse 18-18:
18. Those who listen to the Word, and follow the best (meaning) in it: those are the ones whom Allah has guided, and those are the ones endued with understanding.


Jewish Family from NewYork
As-salaamu-alaikum,
I come from a Jewish family in New York. My mother was from S. A. but also Jewish. She never was comfortable with anyone knowing that. When my father died, she remarried a Catholic and became one herself. And that is how she brought us up. From the age of 5 I was told that Jesus was also God...? I never felt comfortable with it.

We moved to the Philippines - that is where my stepfather was from. And life there was unbearable. My stepfather, to put it mildly, was abusive to me and my 2 brothers. The effect of that hard life: my spelling is poor, one of my brothers is now a drinker, and the other has a low selfworth.

When I grew up and we returned to the USA, I left home. I took care of myself by working hard. I never had time for God, whoever He was. I did not feel that God helped me in any way, so why bother? I did try to get back to my roots but Judaism made no sense, so I let that go. I did come across Muslims from time to time but the effect was, how do they dress that way, and why do they seem different? Over time, the idea of Islam kept coming back to me, so I tried to find out more. I read the history and life of Mohammed (saas). That is what got to me: such kindness and sabr (patience) in the face of hardships.

It seemed to me that my life had no direction, so I went to learn more. After reading surah Al-Fatihah, I knew I had come home - this is where I wanted to be! I became a Muslim and have never regretted it. I always knew there was only ONE God - ALLAH - and things have not been always easy for me. My mother died of cancer soon after I became a Muslim. But the faith I have helped me make it. Just being able to go to ALLAH with all my pain was such a relief. It is the only true lifestyle known to man, and it is the truth and the last chance for us. I wish all mankind could come to know the truth (haqq) of Islam, and its peace and beauty!



Khadijah Jones
From a very young age I have always believed in God. My mum used to send me and my elder sister to places such as Kiro Club, there we would all play games and the team leaders would read stories from the bible and before we went home we would all pray in a circle. This took place at the Primary School we went to St Mark’s C of E.
Then to get me into the high school where my mother wanted me to go, St Peter’s, I had to go church every Sunday, so my mother has always encouraged me and my sister to go to religious events, but on the whole my family is not a practicing Christian family. Everyone in my family was christened, and all the weddings take place in churches.

I started having contact with my father when I was 11 years old, as he thought that he was going to die in hospital and he wanted to see me and my sister before. But Alhamdulilah my dad survived, as he got better me and my sister stayed in touch with him and his family and this was when I got introduced to Islam. I used to go and see my father very often, he lived with my nan and cousin, and next door lived my Aunty, her husband and her son. Both my Aunty and my cousin had embraced Islam for different reasons. So as I used to go very often I saw how differently my Aunty and Cousin lived, they were so dedicated to God it was unreal to me. I respected them in a big way, As I used to see them praying I started asking questions, like why?

I didn’t really understand as at this point I had only just turned 12 years, so they explained Islam to me in a very easy way. I started going to Islamic circles with them, I went to conferences. After 10 long months of dedication to Islam I converted. I converted in my Aunty’s house with all the sisters there who had helped me, my Aunty made lots of food, I had to do my Ghusl (Bath) so I was pure and then I was sat down on a prayer mat and I read the Kalima three times. Everyone brought me presents and advice it was lovely.

As a treat my father paid for me and my aunty to go to Leicester for a four day Islamic event. It was the best four days of my life, I met so many new friends, everyone there was a Muslim, it was just like how an Islamic state would be. Everyone was treated the same, it was wonderful. My dad paid for that because he new how my mother and the rest of the family were treating me, so he lied to my mother and told her that I was going somewhere with my Aunty because he new that if my mum new the truth then she would not allow me to go.

My sister and father were the only one’s who accepted me, my mum’s side of the family hated Islam, they said I could be a Muslim but not dress like one, so once I had put my views across to them that no matter what they said or did I would not compromise Islam for NOTHING! They had to except it. They all thought it was a phase I was going through as I was only 12, I converted on the 22 November 1998.

My father passed away in 1999, I was devastated as I had got so close to him through Islam, as I could talk to him about anything and I don’t have that kind of relationship with my mum, but as I studied death so many times I new that Allah would not give me something that I could not bare. After this my mum’s side of the family had learnt to accept it. Now 5 years later everyone is fine, my advice to people thinking about converting is to study hard and stick with it, Islam is a beautiful way of life and you will thank yourself at the end, people learn to accept you for you and if they don’t then you may realise who your family and friends are.

Sura 8 - Al-Anfal [Spoils of War, Booty] Verse 4-4:
4. أُولَئِكَ هُمُ الْمُؤْمِنُونَ حَقًّا لَهُمْ دَرَجَاتٌ عِنْدَ رَبِّهِمْ وَمَغْفِرَةٌ وَرِزْقٌ كَرِيمٌ

Sura 8 - Al-Anfal [Spoils of War, Booty] Verse 4-4:
4. Such in truth are the believers: they have grades of dignity with their Lord, and forgiveness, and generous sustenance:


Brother Khalil
My name is Khalil Martin. I was born and raised in England and I have been a Muslim for 23 years by the Grace and Mercy of Allah and this is my 23rd Ramadan, Alhumdullilah, as I accepted Islam on the 3rd of Ramadan 1399.
I had been travelling and wandering vaguely in search of something for over 10 years. I used to tell people that I was searching for the Truth but it always sounded pretentious. The fact was, I was searching for my Self and a place where I felt at home, for nothing satisfied me. My travels took me to Jerusalem by chance, not by design. But as soon as I arrived I realised that I had come to somewhere very special, unlike anywhere else I had been to. It seemed to have a presence and a light that was truly inspiring. Up to that point I would have described myself as a non-practicing believer. In Jerusalem I started to pray in earnest going from place to place looking for the source of this presence. Eventually, in the afternoon, I went to the Mount of Olives. It was a name I was familiar with from reading the Gospels and it attracted me. On top of the Mount of Olives there is a sanctuary, run by some monks, where, it is said, Sayidna Isa used to go to pray and meditate and to teach his disciples. During the day-time it is busy with tourists, but one of the monks saw that I was sincere and offered to let me stay after sunset when they close.

In this cave I stayed and I prayed, and at that point I realised that all my life I had been attempting to guide myself, mainly at the service of my ego, but never had I turned to God, who created me, to ask Him the purpose and meaning of my life. So I asked for forgiveness and in a sense threw myself between His Arms and asked for His Help and Guidance. After about an hour I left feeling at peace and knowing that my life had changed forever. Immediately, I was accosted by a lady who insisted that I should meet her Sheikh. I was in a very surrendered state, I was unable to argue. She instructed a local boy to take me to the house of the Sheikh (actually I had no idea what she told the boy because it was all in Arabic) so I entrusted myself into the care of this young boy of maybe 7 or 8. We went down a steep hill on the other side of the Mount of Olives into the darkness, not knowing where I was going or why I was going there. After a while we turned off the main road down an alley and some steps and he delivered me in front of this large building, pointed to it, and disappeared. I had no idea what I was supposed to do. But the daughter of the house came out to wash the steps, saw me standing there, and told me to enter.

She showed me to an empty sitting room. Within moments the Sheikh entered. He said, in English “Yes Beloved what can I do for you?” I felt nervous and embarrassed, but asked him about the Truth. He told me that if I wanted to find the Truth that I would need a Guide who knew the way to the Truth. When I asked him how to find the Guide he said “Seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened”. This touched me because although he was a Muslim, he was speaking the language of Jesus, and words that I could respond and relate to, because I had myself used those words on occasion. At that time I was also very concerned that the world was heading towards Armageddon and had read some books that dealt with the signs concerning this in the Bible and other texts. So I asked what the Qu’ran had to say. As soon as I asked the question my heart knew the answer---If you make your peace with God then you have nothing to fear.

To be honest though, generally, I felt quite awkward, a scruffy, ignorant, hippy taking the time of this Sheikh. So as soon as it was polite I took my leave to go.

As I was leaving it came so strongly to my heart that I had begged God for guidance, I had knocked at the door, and when He opened a door for me I wanted to run away. At that moment I knew that this was the answer to my prayers. Wanting to be sure that I was not allowing myself to be swept along by events I returned to Jerusalem. three days later I returned to the house of the Sheikh to ask to be his student, and so I embraced Islam a few days after my 28th birthday. Praise be to Allah, Who guides to His Light whom He Wills, and without whose Help and Mercy we would be in utter darkness.

7 years later he married me to my wife, Fatima, who originates from Austria and studied Arabic linguistics at Vienna University. Allah has blessed us with three children. I was a drop-out and never qualified in anything, but Allah has been generous and gracious to me. I inherited a menswear shop from my father that I now run.

The Sheikh is Muhammed al-Jamal ar-Rifai, formerly Deputy Mufti for Al Aqsa and the West Bank and Sheikh of the Shadhdhuliyyah Tariq. He is now head of the Higher Sufi Council of Jerusalem and his office is on the raised daias within the Haram, 50 metres from the Dome of the Rock. He is a Sheikh of the Shariah (Law) and of the Haqiqa (Truth), the inside and the outside. In 22 years I have never met anyone who I have found to be greater in knowledge.

Sura 29 - Al-Ankaboot [The Spider] Verse 44-44:
44. خَلَقَ اللَّهُ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالأرْضَ بِالْحَقِّ إِنَّ فِي ذَلِكَ لآيَةً لِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ

Sura 29 - Al-Ankaboot [The Spider] Verse 44-44:
44. Allah created the heavens and the earth in true (proportions): verily in that is a Sign for those who believe.


Brother Ahmad
Twenty Year Search begins a Lifelong Journey

It seems like I have always been a Muslim. I cannot recall ever believing that any other than Allah created the universe. I used to stare at the sky, animals, trees, etc and just marvel at how magnificent and great the Creator of all of these things must be.
The only problem that I had with religion as an adolescent and young adult was that I was not mature enough to accept that complete submission to the Creator was necessary. My own desires came first. ‘What do I want, and how do I get it?’ was my primary concern. Throughout other experiences later, I came to understand that my own knowledge was infinitesimally small and that it was my Creator, Allah, alone who possesses all knowledge and who has power of all things.

When I was in sixth grade, my oldest brother became a ‘born again Christian’ at Immanuel’s Temple in Lansing, Michigan. He used to try to get all of us to go to church and ‘praise God’ with him. I remember being asked once when his girlfriend was spending the night at our house, “Do you accept Jesus Christ as your lord and savior?” I don’t remember what my exact reply was, but I remember saying something to the effect that I believed that Jesus’ life was an excellent example of piety but that God alone was my Creator and that I was unable to accept that Jesus was, in fact, God. She seemed content enough to hear that I did indeed love Jesus and went on explaining how that meant I was saved from the fire, and on and on.

At the time, I was probably eleven years old. I started reading the bible with my brother from time to time, but I noticed that I had insights and questions about the passages we would study that he could not answer. I looked through the index and table of contents voraciously, thinking that I would find more references to all of the topics that were important to me, but the verses that I was directed to were always inadequate. In short, I observed that the book was not very well put together.

I remember thinking, ‘this does not seem at all like what the Creator of the universe would choose to tell His creations.’ Why, for example, in the opening passage in John, would He spend so much time discussing a genealogy? Why did Genesis sound so contrived? Why did Revelations and Acts appear to be so inconsistent with other parts of the book? What was all that symbolism and apocalyptic chatter mean? Who was supposed to be impressed? No, I did not accept that this book was from God, at least not entirely. Some of what I read moved me, but most of it was more boring and senseless than a 2000 page comic book.

There were only two times when my brother convinced me to attend church with him. All that I saw were people there trying to make themselves feel good about their own pathetic shortcomings. The preaching lacked sophistication. He kept claiming that he possessed all types of powers due to Jesus Christ. He kept trying to convince the congregation, and himself, that what he was saying was true. I thought, ‘what a quack.’ The best message in the world can never reach its intended target if the messenger’s approach is inadequate.

I wondered why all of those people at the church picked up the hymn books and opened up their bibles to the pages that the minister instructed them to read. How was it that he got away with making so many comments without being questioned? How come everyone was following what he was saying and not looking at other parts of the bible that clearly contradicted what he was saying? I did not want to sell myself short by allowing him to stand in the way of me becoming acquainted with my Creator, but since I had already turned to and away from the bible, I concluded that those people were content with suspending their intellect and reasoning ability.

They accepted what they were feed, and because their beliefs taught them that despite their poor qualities and severely deficient characters they were still loved by God, they never looked elsewhere? If you believe that God loves you as a wretch the same way that he loves you as a pious person, then why would you ever change your beliefs? If you believed that Jesus died for your sins, then why would you stop sinning?

My quest for knowledge continued throughout high school. I read Plato and Aristotle. I studied Greek and Roman mythology. I looked at contemporary thinkers and philosophers like Bertrand Russell, Nietzsche, Freud, C.S. Jung and others. I tried to get into Thoreau, Emerson, other writers and other poets, mostly white Americans. I attempted to find some substance and depth in Black American writers like Toni Morrison, James Baldwin, Langston Hughes, Maya Angelou and others. In each of the different personalities, I found some elements that interested me and others that did not, but I was not impressed with any of them enough to make me think that what they knew was worth knowing.

During my first year of college, I started reading about Taoism (Daoism), Buddhism, Hinduism, Shintoism and Confucianism. Again, there were interesting elements and not so interesting elements. What path was I on and how would I know when I got there? Desiring to learn more about the African experience that I felt disconnected from, I transferred to another university for my second year to begin an African Studies major. I studied black social scientists and historians like DuBois, Diop and Senghor in class, and revolutionaries like Marcus Garvey, Malcolm X, Steve Biko, Walter Rodney and Amilcar Cabral, out of class.

I started to get absorbed into the ‘struggle;’ the plight of African and descendants of Africa in world dominated by Western hegemony. I revisited the injustices of the transatlantic slave trade and plantation enterprises in the Americas. I compared the plight of Blacks in the United States with Africans living in post-colonial (neocolonial) Africa, and I was determined to unite the oppressed under a banner of pan-Africanism. Several friends and I founded a small group that we called, Africa’s Progeny for Global Power (APGP). We were devoted to enlightening and empowering our ‘people’ around the world, the Caribbean, Latin America, North America, Europe, Asia, and of course, Africa. We were sharp, results-oriented and focused.

I decided that I had to visit Africa in order to begin to actualize my dreams. I applied for a scholarship that I eventually won to study at the University of Dar es Salaam in Tanzania. A few months later, with no second thoughts, I was on a plane headed back to the ‘motherland.’ People told me that living in Africa would change my way of thinking profoundly. I replied that my most fundamental beliefs could never change, but admitted that the superfluous activities would probably vanish forever. What did I feel most committed to at that time? Ironically, I was committed to serving my Creator, but the difference between then and now is that I felt my own manner of serving Him was adequate. I thought I was left free to worship on my terms. Later I realized worship has to come on the terms of the Worshipped, not on the terms of the worshipper. Imagine having a your slave tell you, ‘yes master, I will serve you and commit myself to pleasing you, but before all that happens, let me go over here and handle some other business!’

It does not make sense at all does it? Imagine acknowledging that a Creator exists. Without knowing any further information to describe your Creator’s attributes or His orders and commands to His creations, one would have to conclude that it was a duty to submit and worship his Creator. The Being with the power to make things that we ourselves cannot even comprehend deserves our complete attention. Anything that a creation wishes to do that is not in harmony with the desires of the Creator is done in vain. Why keep bumping one’s head going against the grain, when all one needs to do to be successful is submit to his Maker? All creation must acknowledge that the Creator alone is fit to be worshipped and must disavow any distraction or ‘partner’ that could distract from worshipping the One True Supreme Being.

I lived in mainland Tanzania and in the offshore Zanzibar Islands on and off for four months before I accepted Islam. I had reached the point where I realized that all of my efforts were futile if they were not centered around pleasing my Creator. This is humanity’s natural mode of existence. This is the way that all creation, animate or inanimate, functions. Mountains have behavioral characteristics determined by Allah, the Creator. Scientists may believe in geological evidence, but Muslims understand that all of those sciences are just man’s attempt to comprehend what Allah creates. An astronomer can try to calculate the earth’s orbit around the sun, but no matter how close he comes to accuracy, all he can discover is what Allah already established. In that sense, there is no such thing as new knowledge. All knowledge is with Allah, and the only knowledge that we have is what Allah chooses to endow us with.

For example, let’s take someone many societies assume to be knowledgeable, like a physician. A physician studies anatomy, physiology, epidemiology, etc in order to gain a better understanding of the way that a human body operates. However, all of that knowledge and training can never change a matter once Allah has ordained it. When someone’s heart stops and doctors revive the person, they credit medical technology with a miracle, but if those same doctors, using that same technology failed to revive the heart, then they would recognize that technology and knowledge has limits. The limit is the extent to which Allah endows us with His own knowledge. That determines our ultimate aptitude.

When I accepted Islam, I did not have any epiphanies or land-shaking experiences. What I felt, was that after 20 years of searching, Allah opened my heart to accept the truth. It was always there. Imagine an archaeologist excavating the remains of the skeleton that he always believed existed. Whether or not he located the first bones, they were still there. He did not create them, he merely received the benefit of having his knowledge expanded by learning about the bones. The discovery, like accepting Islam, is the first step, and not the final answer. Assembling the individual bones into the proper order is similar to a Muslim putting his life together by building his faith. Finally, after assembling something that resembles a finished piece, the archaeologist can spend the rest of his life increasing his understanding of his new finding because he has more evidence than ever for study. The parallel works with a Muslim who devotes his life towards increasing his knowledge in order to become the best servant of Allah that he can possibly be.

Accepting Islam-that is to accept that Allah alone deserves worship, has no partners, is unlike any of His creations, and towers high above all things, and to believe that Muhammad was Allah’s messenger-that is the most important step, but it is also only the first. In no way should merely accepting the faith make one believe that he has become a believer or even a good Muslim for that matter. Improving oneself and one’s devotion to his Creator is a lifelong endeavor, but only those who are smart enough to understand and mature enough to accept the truth will ever experience this felicity. Allah, the High and Exalted, guides whomever He chooses. I am just thankful to be among that list.

Sura 16 - An-Nahl [The Bee] Verse 3-3:
3. خَلَقَ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالأرْضَ بِالْحَقِّ تَعَالَى عَمَّا يُشْرِكُونَ

Sura 16 - An-Nahl [The Bee] Verse 3-3:
3. He has created the heavens and the earth for just ends: Far is He above having the partners they ascribe to Him!


Antoinette Azim
What can I say, Allah (swt) called me to Islam. It seemed to happen so fast, only 28 days passed since I opened my heart to Islam and when I said Shahadah, the happiest day of my life. I grew up in a Catholic family, not just Catholic in name, but practicing also.
I went to a Catholic grade school, went to church on a consistent basis, and said my prayers every night. My mother always hoped for me to become a nun, that was her dream before she met my dad, and I was the youngest of four girls. I thought I was a good Catholic too. I believed. I prayed. But I didn’t agree with everything in my religion, which to me seemed ok, it was enough to believe in God, but I also believe in divorce, I don’t agree with the church hierarchy, and I don’t like the fact that there is a priest between God and me. But I was brought up Catholic and that was the way it was always going to be.

I lived in Russia for two years teaching English. When I was there I went to a Catholic service twice. It was four hours long and they told me I needed to go to confession before I could take communion. These were believers, that wasn’t for me. I got no spiritual fulfilment from the Russian Orthodox Church even though the icons are beautiful. When I came back after two years of not going to church I thought my faith was renewed. The first time I went I actually listened to the Gospel. I continued to go and even found a church when I moved out to DC. I always said I was part German, Polish, Irish and Belgian, but one hundred percent Catholic!

Then I met Mounir. This changed my life in many ways, some good, mostly bad, now that I look back I understand that I had to go through all of this to get to the Truth. Mounir is from Morocco. On our first date he told me about the five pillars of Islam while drinking an Amstel light. I didn’t think anything of the Amstel light, but I thought telling me about the five pillars of Islam on a first date is strange. In order to understand my Muslim boyfriend I wanted to understand Islam. I bought a book, and at the same time I bought a book about Catholicism, I wanted to get closer to my faith too.

I didn’t get into Islam right away, but I started asking a lot of questions. I spent five weeks in Russia that summer. When I came home I discovered that Mounir didn’t miss me as much as I missed him. The break up was devastating to me, so much that I didn’t even realize what I was really going through at the time. My only consolation was drinking and partying. I still went to church during this time, but I couldn’t find the spirituality I needed to get me through this without losing all my self-respect. Meanwhile, I studied Islam a little more, but to me it was purely academic. I decided to declare it as my minor in graduate school and started studying Islamic fundamentalism in Central Asia. But I thought the more I study Islam, the more I need to study Catholicism.

Come spring semester I signed up for the class Conflict Resolution in Islamic Studies with Professor Abdul Aziz Said. One day he gave us a copy of the Noble Qur’an. I couldn’t believe it! I was so excited that I had a copy of the Qur’an. I had never read the Bible. I took it home but didn’t start reading it right away. I started talking with a Moroccan at work. He started to tell me certain Surahs to read and then he said that once you start digging into Islam you can’t stop. I just laughed and assured him that I was very secure in my Catholic beliefs. In order to make myself believe that I started to research Catholicism. It was short lived though.

One day all of this changed. I was doing some tabling at the university to get some support for our human rights group. Another girl from the organization, Mandy, came with me. I knew her, but not that well. As we sat there for two hours I discovered that she was a Muslim, she converted from Catholicism. When she told me this, I started to feel like maybe it was ok, the feelings that I was having, I’m not alone. After that I started reading the Qur’an. It was beautiful. Two weeks later I went to the mosque with her for Friday prayer. I’ll never forget her tying the scarf on my head for the first time and teaching me how to say ‘salaam aleykom.’ I felt an incredible sense of unity with the women there. I kept reading the Qur’an, it is so logical, it fills in the gaps that Christianity had, it answered the questions. I knew I couldn’t give up drinking and partying. I read about Muslim women on the Internet and discovered the Muslim dress and got scared! That wasn’t for me, I couldn’t give up my shorts and skirts.

Mandy left and went to New York for six weeks. I stopped drinking, kind of as an experiment, also because I was tired of making mistakes when I was intoxicated. It wasn’t hard at all. It came easy, I didn’t miss drinking, I didn’t miss feeling intoxicated, I felt great. Not only that, but things I thought were impossible at first started to make sense, like dressing modestly, praying five times a day; it became fulfilling. I realized the more you sacrifice, the closer you are to the Creator. Before I thought it was enough just to believe, but now I understand that in order to be close to God I need to live my life the way He intended.

Two weeks after my first visit to the mosque I had a Friday off of work, something that never happens. I decided to go to Friday prayer by myself. I don’t know what force took me there, but I went. There was Sohair from Egypt. She was so excited to see me back. She showed me how to perform ablution and how to pray. After prayer we went down for lunch and she introduced me to Hayat. I’ll never forget that conversation. She asked me why I was there and what was holding me back. I started crying, I couldn’t hold it in, and I didn’t even know why I was crying. She took my hand and said, “It’s ok, Allah calls whom he wants.” Those words changed my life.

I went home after that and was in a cloud for the rest of the day. I started praying that day. It was March 2, 2001. I was helping my friend move and as we were driving it just hit me that Allah (swt) had called ME. The feeling of peace from that moment on was so incredible. I continued to go to Friday prayer, this time at AU. The first day I walked out of the prayer room and Yasmin, the president of the MSA, was standing there waiting for me. She was so excited that I was there and started asking me questions. I knew that I believed in the Oneness of God and Mohammed his Prophet (pbuh), but I didn’t know what to do with this belief – I was CATHOLIC!

I went to talk to a priest, he was very nice, but didn’t know much about Islam. He told me that Catholics respect Muslims because they are people of the book. I left feeling good because I hadn’t wavered in my belief, after all, I was quoting from the Qur’an to a priest. But the biggest test was telling my mother.

I called her on a Sunday night. I was so scared. I was trying to convince myself that it would be easier just to stay Catholic than to have to tell my mother about this. But I knew that I had found the Truth and there was no turning back now. I knew it would be hard for her, but I was so happy to have found the Way and so filled with peace I didn’t understand how someone could NOT be happy for me and embrace Islam themselves. She was shocked, to say the least, but I don’t blame her at all, she didn’t know anything about Islam and was brought up to believe that Christianity was the only way. After a long conversation she agreed to get a copy of “their book” as she called it, so it was a step in the right direction. That whole week I was dreading what would happen. I was so worried that she was going to tell me I wasn’t her daughter anymore. A week later, it seemed a lot longer, I called her back. I was very reassured that she still loved me and wasn’t going to disown me. She said that she had to talk to a devout Catholic who teaches world religions at a college in our hometown. At first I panicked, but then I was reassured that it would be ok. I believe that Islam is the Straight Path and Allah (swt) would make my mom understand.

Two days later I got an email from Mom saying that Brian had emailed her and told her that Islam was not a pagan religion, but deeply rooted in Judaism and Christianity. At that moment I felt ready to declare my faith. I was planning on doing it April 6, but then the open prayer date got pushed back to April 13. I knew that I couldn’t wait that long but I wanted all of my friends to be there. I was at Jumah prayer at AU and afterwards Yasmin told me that I could talk to the Imam about the life of the Prophet (pbuh) if I wanted. We started talking. I asked him questions and then he started to ask me questions. After two hours he told me that I was ready and very strong in my faith. He didn’t pressure me to say Shahadah, but told me that we don’t know what could happen tomorrow. I still said that I wanted to wait because of my friends. We continued to talk and then I said that I was ready. Right at that moment Yasmin walked in, the timing could have only been Allah (swt). I’ll never forget that moment, repeating the words after the imam, it was the most beautiful moment of my life. Yasmin and I were crying and then the imam started crying, I can’t describe how much that touched me. The peace that came over my body and soul was more than words can say. My heart is so full, Insha Allah it will always be this way. I said Shahadah again two weeks later in front of my friends. The actual words did not move me as much that time, but afterward I felt like I was even more ready to accept a life of Islam, the way Allah wants. When I pray I feel so close to Him.

As I pray every day I pray that Allah (swt) will guide me and keep me on the Straight Path, and I’ll do my part to follow Him in every way. My goal is to educate people about Islam and to wipe away the damage that the US media and US foreign policy have created. I realize that I am very lucky to have the support from my friends and family that I have, not all converts have this. Islam is so beautiful, so loving, it accepts everybody, every religion. Insha Allah I can help people to see the beauty of Islam the way that I do.

Sura 11 - Hud [Hud] Verse 120-120:
120. وَكُلا نَقُصُّ عَلَيْكَ مِنْ أَنْبَاءِ الرُّسُلِ مَا نُثَبِّتُ بِهِ فُؤَادَكَ وَجَاءَكَ فِي هَذِهِ الْحَقُّ وَمَوْعِظَةٌ وَذِكْرَى لِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ

Sura 11 - Hud [Hud] Verse 120-120:
120. All that we relate to thee of the stories of the messengers,- with it We make firm thy heart: in them there cometh to thee the Truth, as well as an exhortation and a message of remembrance to those who believe.


Anisah Georgia Liliou
I welcomed Islam into my life at, what people think, a very young age. And yet, bringing back to my memory the years before my conversion, is still a chilling experience for me. In principle, my conversion story may seem similar to many other stories. But what still amazes me is the relation between the events; a proof to the fact that God’s Will prevails, no matter the circumstances.
I was born and brought up in Athens. My parents, like 98% of the people in Greece, are Orthodox Christians. During the first years of my life I cannot remember them being particularly religious. They led a normal family life, which included the occasional visit to the church. The people who reminded us of our responsibility towards our religion were almost always my grandmothers and grandfathers. My mother’s parents were both children of priests and had great knowledge in Christian traditions. In their bedroom, they had converted part of their wardrobe into a church, shelves stocked with images of Jesus, Virgin Mary and various saints. Every night, my grandfather would stand in front of that shelf for a couple of hours, reading with humility the holy book; a picture I will never forget.

As I almost always spent my holidays with them, they introduced me to the routine of reading every night little poems to Virgin Mary. That, however, did not prevent me from having my own spiritual experiences. Up until the age of ten I used to see in my dream the events of the following day, which I thought was something normal. I never did my homework, unless I saw in my dream that my teacher would examine me. So I would do it in the school bus, on the way to school. Sometimes I would see dreams relating to other people’s worries, worries I knew little about. My elder sister probably realises this better than me. Sometimes in the morning I would say to her “I had the weirdest dream”, I would narrate it to her and then forget all about it. She would not forget though, and years later she confessed to me that my dreams had affected her life.

When I was 10 or 11, nothing seemed to go well. We had family problems, school was very hard for me, I had no friends. One night I slowly slid out of my bed and decided to pray for help. I think I spent about 10 minutes just standing there; I was trying to decide who to pray to. “Should I pray to Jesus or Virgin Mary? Saint George or Saint Helen? Or that saint, ‘the protector of children’? But what’s her name?” In the end, I did not pray to anyone that night. My reason was that I did not want to offend anyone by not praying to them. But deep down, I had realized that there was something wrong about this religion.

My parents invested a lot of money in my education, and chose responsible schools that honoured the beliefs of the Christian faith. However, the principle of respecting the faith of the Greeks was more inspired to me in the History class, rather than the Theology class. We had remained Greeks and Christians after a devastating 400-year Turkish occupation, and we clearly owed that to the religious leaders of that time. So, although the Christian faith did not appeal to me, I felt it was my responsibility to show some gratitude by going to the church once in a while. But I never believed that, just by standing there in front of an elderly man dressed in gold who was reciting for two hours was bringing me any closer to salvation.

The huge gap between the message of the scriptures and their application on people’s lives was something that always made me very skeptical. For most of the times, I did agree with the teachings of the biblical stories. But the people around me did not practice what they learnt from the scriptures. Instead, they had invented their own traditional rituals with a lot of symbolic elements, to the extent that everything in their faith remained just that: a symbolism, and not an everyday practice outside the church.

I believed that all the Prophets mentioned in the Bible were indeed the Prophets of God, sent to deliver a divine message. However, this message is not clear in the Bible, and sometimes, it is dangerously contradicting. For example, the Old Testament lists a large number of commandments which Prophet Moses conveyed to his people. The Prophet suffered a lot to deliver these laws and to convince people to follow them. But nowadays we are told that we do not have to follow these laws, as our love for Jesus would be sufficient for our salvation. But wouldn’t it be unreasonable of God to make His dear Messenger go through all this, so that we discard His message today? One has to only see the effect of the prohibited things in the modern world. People are born with perfect lungs, yet they destroy them by smoking. Families fall apart, wives get abused, children become orphans because of some pints of alcohol. And we still think there is no necessity to exclude these from our lives.

Imagine you are a teenager and your parents had to go away for some time. For your own good, they appointed your uncle to keep an eye on you. Your father said to your uncle: “Please, make sure he comes home early, does his homework, does not mix with bad companies, and does not do anything that is wrong”. They then go away. But your uncle does not prove as reliable as your parents thought. Instead, he tells you to do whatever you like. Because you consider your uncle a credible source, you take advantage of the liberties you are given. So, you are getting yourself into real trouble and end up being in a really bad state. Now, although your parents are far away, they can in fact see everything that you do because, if you like, they have installed CCTV cameras all around the house. How would you react if years later you found out they knew you were in this state, yet did not do anything to help you or protect you? Because, being a parent is not just someone that brings you into this world, it is also someone with the responsibility to nurture you and keep you away from evil things. Would you agree that, in that case your parents did not fulfill their responsibility as parents?

The relationship between God and man is similar to the one between parent and child. Through the prophets He gradually introduced us to a number of laws so that we can find peace in this life and get the reward of another life. Our first lesson was the story of Adam and Eve, where we learn that there is an abundance of good things but also a portion of bad things, of which we should be aware and protect ourselves from. The Holy Bible contains the truth, but some parts of it are distorted, either deliberately or by genuine mistake. And by observing people, I found that they preferred the distorted parts and hence, were led astray.

My perception of God was always a God who is Perfect, a God who fulfills His responsibility towards His creation, just as a good parent fulfills his responsibility towards his child. So, I found it irresponsible of God that He would conclude His revelation to us with a book which has so much misguidance in it. How could He stand seeing us falling into sin, disputing with one another on whether He is one or three, without putting the record straight? But on the other hand, I really believed that Christianity was the closest to the truth. I never attempted to study Buddhism, Hinduism or the similar faiths; I believed in Jesus and the rest of the Prophets, and I would be denying them by doing so. Islam had fallen under the same category, because I did not know at the time that Muslims accept all prophets, from Adam to Jesus, and finally Muhammad. In fear of loosing my faith that there is even a God, I remember myself saying, ‘God, show me your true guidance and I will follow it with my heart and soul’. I honestly did not think that God was listening at that moment, but the events of the years to follow proved that God was listening very carefully indeed.

I decided to study graphic design when I was 13, after reading an article about it. Four years later my dream almost reached a dead-end; to be admitted to the university I had to pass tests on maths, physics and chemistry, the subjects I was the worst at. Knowing that I was bound to fail if I followed that route, I started looking anxiously for alternatives. Somebody suggested studying in UK, which I mentioned to my parents. To my surprise, my parents were willing to make the sacrifice and let me go. Although my preparation included 70 hours of studying per week, I realised I was going only when I got to the airport to catch my flight. Most students take a parent with them for the first-day difficulties. I did not do that, because I wanted to avoid becoming too sentimental about the whole experience.

Adjustment did not prove difficult for me, and I probably have my mother to thank for that. She always insisted that I learn foreign languages and at the age of nine I had my first penpal. I grew to correspond with people from all around the world, different cultures, different faiths – a very exciting experience. During my first months in the UK my circle consisted predominately by Greek people. But soon I felt unhappy and wanted to take full advantage of the potential by meeting non-Greek people. Naturally, I left that circle and started interacting with other, to my view, much more interesting people.

Amongst these people was a Muslim student that I had met from the first day there. We used to run into each other all the time; he was always polite and very tactful. Although we were coming from very different backgrounds, we were in the same wavelength and we used to agree in everything apart from religion – I thought. He knew I was very negative about Islam but one day he decided to address the issue of religion in a very delicate manner. He asked me to explain to him the theory of the Trinity and how Jesus can be the son of God.

Under other circumstances I would not make much effort to answer, but that day I really tried my best. I told him everything I had learnt in school and I analysed all the different methodologies that reach the conclusion that there is a Trinity. However, he always managed to answer back with a better argument, because as I discovered later, he knew more about Christianity than me. In a moment of absolute frustration, I uttered these honest words: “If you want to know about the Trinity, you better ask someone who really believes in it. Because I do not believe that Jesus is the son of God, my instinct tells me that he was just a Prophet”. On that he replied, “This is what we believe”. That second my journey in discovering Islam had begun.

I did not allow my friend to preach me about Islam. My whole life I was being preached at and I did not like it - this time I was after constructive dialogue. He was superb in debating and great help in explaining things; two qualities I appreciated much more than preaching. This way I did not feel that I was being led at something or being brainwashed; I followed my own pace. I started studying the basics of Islam, which I compared with Christianity. I never knew there were so many similarities between these two religions. Just as Christianity is the next step from Judaism, only that the Jewish people do not accept Jesus, in the same way Islam is the next step from Christianity, only that the Christians do not accept Muhammad. The main principle of Islam is that there is only one God and Muhammad is His Messenger. I agreed many times with this principle but I kept on studying, sincerely hoping that Muhammad would have said or taught something I did not approve of. But whenever I found such points, after studying them in detail, I discovered that there was always a perfectly reasonable explanation behind them.

Having agreed with the basics, I moved on studying more complicated issues. If I were to accept this faith I wanted to eliminate the chance of regretting it by learning as much as possible about it. As I kept on reading, not only I found in words what I already felt in my heart, but something even more complete in a miraculous way. The authenticity of the message, the wisdom in the divine commandments, the scientific evidence, all added up into a system that could have never been invented by man. This ‘system’ not only solved the problems that I had identified in the Holy Bible, but it unveiled a whole new perspective in leading a life where religion is actually a way of life and not just a part of the jigsaw. Furthermore, if one were to study the commandments in the Bible and then objectively observe the Christians and the Muslims, he would find that the Muslims follow it more to the word, and hence the Muslims are better ‘Christians’ than the Christians.

My conversion to Islam happened in three stages. In the first stage I could see that Islam is a better religion than Christianity, but was scared to admit it. In the second stage I managed to fight my prejudice towards Islam and be honest with myself by saying, “Yes, Islam is definitely better”. But then I did not want to imitate the hypocrites, who say they believe in one thing, yet they do not act upon it or do the opposite. If I really believed that I am a sincere person who does not set double-standards, that was the time to prove it. So, I decided to accept and act upon the truth to which I was guided, and that was the final stage of my conversion.

It took me some time to get used to the idea that I was a Muslim now, but the knowledge I was acquainted with over the years gave me great confidence. Being in peace with my consciousness gave me the strength to deal with any problems that were to come. Unfortunately though, I was so excited over discovering Islam that I thought all Muslims appreciated this gift and honoured it by acting upon it to the letter. Many converts say that if they were to judge Islam by the people and not by the Book, they would have never become Muslims. Indeed, I met many Muslims who looked very religious, yet gave to Islam a bad name by following their cultural tendencies or their individual desires. Some instead of giving support to new Muslims, try to push them towards their own deviated groups that take people outside the fold of Islam. And some even find it difficult to accept that a convert may know more than a born Muslim, and hold grudges when they see that their advice is not followed. But God is all-praiseworthy, who made it a test and a learning experience for me, out of which I came out stronger. For now I can distinguish the good and sincere Muslims, who have good intention in their hearts and many good deeds in their account with the Lord.

I did not make any formal announcement to my family about my conversion; I always considered religion to be a very private thing and had grown to detest the fact that many people in Greece use religion as a social security system. All the people who accept Islam and act upon it notice a good change in their personality. The same happened to me, but unfortunately went unnoticed in my family, because I was always known as a well-mannered and disciplined child. Yet I had changed considerably; I was more patient with people, I was able to resolve arguments in a grown-up manner, I was less stressed and more positive about life. I had gone through problems, I had asked God’s help, even through routes that I found impossible, and He did it for me, He protected me and guided me. And when God is your friend and your helper, you should not fear anything.

My family did not notice all that. But they noticed changes in my diet, my dressing code and my social circle. I did not try to hide the fact I was a Muslim, but I did not make it obvious either. Besides, I was gradually introducing myself into practicing Islam, and I thought that gradual progress is something that works well with everyone. Many children forget that parents are the people who have seen you growing and know you best; and I was not such a child. I could soon sense that my parents knew – my father knew and accepted it, my mother knew and tried to deny it by not thinking about the possibility of it. A convert has to be very sensitive on this issue. Some parents get shocked when their child decides to abandon a major part of the family’s identity. They start blaming themselves, thinking that they were not good parents, thus the child is punishing them by denying the principles that they cultivated in him/her. This is not the case. As other converts’ parents, my parents also brought me up very well, giving me a Christian education because they sincerely believed that it was the best for me. But in school you also learn to build up arguments by weighing the pros and the cons, finally coming to a judgment of whether something is beneficial or not. This is the key to survival in life; if we did this more often, we would save ourselves from a lot of trouble. And this is exactly what I have done. I have put Christianity on one side of the scale, and Islam on the other – and Islam, to my surprise, is a clear winner.

It is not a crucial issue for me whether or not my family accepts the fact that I am a Muslim, because I will always find ways to practice my religion and therefore have peace within myself. If they do not accept it now, they will accept it as years go past, when my ongoing commitment to Islam will be getting more and more obvious. The more I read and learn, the surer I become that I made the right decision – a solid proof that this is not a phase. However, holding on to the reality that I am still the same person, is very essential to me. Unfortunately, a person may be known as sensible and responsible throughout the years, yet when s/he decides to follow a route opposite the establishment, he gets stripped off these qualities. It is an example of the double standards that get applied as a common practice nowadays, but it is only a self-defense mechanism people use to create the pretense that an issue is not there, therefore they do not have to deal with it. I had people around me who knew me very well, had acknowledged the maturity in me and had declared their full trust in me. However, when the news reached them, I became this far-too-young person to take such mature decisions, who had been brainwashed and had no independent will. Hence, a conversion like this is also a real test for relationships, which can have shockingly disappointing outcomes that one ought to be prepared for.

Here it might be interesting to add that after having studied Islam and Christianity for years, I have come up with my own terminology on what makes someone a Muslim or a Christian. A Muslim is someone who believes and accepts the teachings of the Holy Qur’an wholeheartedly; therefore I am confident that I am a Muslim because I do not reject any part of the Qur’an. Similarly, a Christian is someone who accepts the Holy Bible wholeheartedly, but I rarely meet people like that. I personally do not perceive my family as Christian anymore, because each one of them follows his/her own version of Christianity, whether they realise it or not. My mother says that she accepts and believes the Bible, but her whole life has denied studying it, because “belief should be free of investigation”. Therefore, in my view, she does not really know what she believes in. My father also says he accepts the Bible, but uses his intellect to reject parts of it that his own logic does not agree with. My sister’s faith is the most obvious example of all, as she totally rejects the Old Testament because of its content, believes in Trinity, yet when in hardship she does not turn to God/Jesus/Holy Spirit, but to Virgin Mary. So the ‘Trinity’ becomes ‘Tetranity’.

I think there are two main reasons for filtering and adjusting a religion to our own liking; (a) we have misunderstood the principle of religion and therefore we exploit it to our own advantage, or (b) we realise the importance of religion so well that we are prepared to scrutinize it and filter it using the intellect that God has gifted us with. But in this case, when changing it, we indirectly admit that this religion is not perfect. The question is: will we be honest with ourselves and ask for guidance, or will we continue to live in uncertainty because we fear change? Would God really create this perfect world for us to live in, but according to an imperfect system? My hope is that one day my family will raise these questions, but for the time being, they regard themselves as Christians and I ought to respect that. When I go back home, I practice what we are told in the Qur’an: “Unto you your religion, and unto me my religion”, (109:6). Therefore, I put no burden on them, but in return I expect them to put no burden on me, in order to have an ongoing healthy relationship. I do not think that religion is the cause for the evil wars that happen throughout history, but it is the people’s unwillingness to be patient and tolerant with each other.

Before I got to know about Islam, I had created my own framework of what I perceived the perfect religion to be like. I judged everything I learnt and saw according to that; if something did not fit to my own framework, I would reject it, otherwise, I would accept it. Many times I struggled to protect my own framework against the external influences, in order to keep it in the same condition as when I was little – simple and pure. In hindsight I realise that I was protecting the instinct that is granted to every human being, the belief in One God and the will to worship Him only. Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, “Every child is born with a true faith of Islam (i.e. to worship none but Allah Alone, the One and only God) but his parents convert him to Judaism, Christianity or Paganism.” I believe that the people who convert to Islam are the people who guard this instinct with honesty and know that there is a perfect religion somewhere out there, although they have not heard about it yet. So God rewards them for their honesty and grants them what they have been hoping for. And the people who are lost are those who deny to admit God’s Perfection, thus do not expect anything perfect from Him.

And when it is said to them: “Come to what Allah has revealed and unto the Messenger Muhammad”, they say: “Enough for us is that which we found our fathers following”, even though their fathers had no knowledge whatsoever, and no guidance?

Sura 5 - Al-Maeda [The Table, The Table Spread] Verse 104-104:
104. وَإِذَا قِيلَ لَهُمْ تَعَالَوْا إِلَى مَا أَنْزَلَ اللَّهُ وَإِلَى الرَّسُولِ قَالُوا حَسْبُنَا مَا وَجَدْنَا عَلَيْهِ آبَاءَنَا أَوَلَوْ كَانَ آبَاؤُهُمْ لا يَعْلَمُونَ شَيْئًا وَلا يَهْتَدُونَ

Sura 5 - Al-Maeda [The Table, The Table Spread] Verse 104-104:
104. When it is said to them: "Come to what Allah hath revealed; come to the Messenger": They say: "Enough for us are the ways we found our fathers following." what! even though their fathers were void of knowledge and guidance?


Ali Molina
In The Name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful

Para leer mi cuento en Espanol, toque aqui.
My name is Ali, I’m a 29 year old Mexican American or as some would say a Chicano.

People have a wrong perception About Islam and Muslims, what little they know is usually from movies and television which is almost all the time false.

My life before was bad, I had no direction in life. I was wasting my life away by dropping out of school in the 11th grade. I would hang out in the streets with my friends “partying” getting high, drinking and selling marijuana, most of my friends were gang members, I myself was never in a gang. I knew most of them before they were criminals and drug dealers so it was not a problem. I slowly began to use harder drugs, I had dreams but they seemed to far away for me to make them reality. The more I became depressed the more I turned to drugs as a temporary escape.

One day A friend of mine told me that he knew where to get some good marijuana, I was eager to sample and buy some so I agreed to go check it out. We arrived and went inside this apartment there were a couple of people inside, we sat around and talked for a while and “sampled” the weed. My friend and I bought some and were getting ready to leave when my friend said one of the guys there invited us to his apartment to give him a book.

We left for this guy’s apartment when we got there, he gave my friend a book and asked him to read it, and said that it might help him out with his problems in life. On the way home I asked my friend to show me the book that the guy gave him, it was the Qur’an (Koran).

I had never in my life heard of The Holy Qur’an, I began to briefly read some pages while I was reading I knew that what I was reading was true, it was like a slap in the face, a wake up call. The Qur’an is so clear and easy to understand. I was really impressed and wanted to know more about Islam and Muslims.

The strangest thing is that I was not looking for a new Religion, I used to laugh at people that went to church, and some times said that there was no God. Although deep down I knew there was. I decided to go to the library a couple of days later and check out the Qur’an. I began to read it and study it, I learned About Prophet Muhammed (Peace be upon him) and the true story of Jesus son of Mary(Peace be upon him). The Qur’an stressed the fact that God was one and had no partners or a son, this was most interesting to me since I never understood the concept of the trinity. The Qur’an describes the birth of Prophet Jesus (P.B.U.H.) and his mission. There is also a Surah (Chapter) called Mary and tells her story as well.

As a child I always went to church, my mother was a Seventh day Adventist and took my sister and me every Saturday. I never was really religious and stopped going to church when I was about 14 or 15.The rest of my family is Catholic, I always wondered why we were Seventh day Adventist and the rest of my family was Catholic. When we would go visit my family back in Mexico, we went to a Catholic church for weddings and Quencenira’s (sweet 16 celebration).

Muhammed (peace be upon him) is the last Messenger of God sent to all mankind. The Qur’an tells the story’s of all the Prophets such as Adam, Abraham, Noah, Isaac, David, Moses, Jesus (Peace be upon them all) told in a clear and understandable manner. I did months of research on Islam I bought a Holy Qur’an at a bookstore and studied about World History and Islam’s contributions to Medicine and Science.

I learned that Spain was a Muslim country for about 800 years and that when the Muslims were expelled from Spain by the Christian king and Queen (Ferdanand and Isabela), the Christian Spaniards came to Mexico and forced the Aztecs and others to become Catholic, history and my Islamic roots was all becoming clear to me.

After months of study and research I could not deny the truth anymore I had put it off too long, but was still living the life I was before and knew that if I became Muslim I had to give all that up. One day while reading the Qur’an, I began to cry and fell to my knees and thanked Allah for guiding me to the truth. I found out that there was a Mosque by my house so I went one Friday to see how Muslims prayed and conducted their service. I saw that people from all races and colors attended the Mosque. I saw that they took off their shoes when entering and sat on the carpeted floor. A man got up and began to call the Adthan (call for prayer) when I heard it my eyes filled up with tears it sounded so beautiful, it was all so strange at first but seemed so right at the same time. Islam is not just a Religion but a way of life.

After going a couple of Fridays I was ready to be a Muslim and say my Shahada (declaration of faith).

I told the Khatib (person giving the lecture) that I wanted to be a Muslim, the following Friday in front of the community I said my Shahada first in Arabic then in English: I bear witness that there is no other God but Allah and I bear witness that Muhammed (P.B.U.H) is His Messenger.

When I finished a Brother shouted Takbir! And all the community said Allah O Akbar! (God is great!) a few times, then all the Brothers came and hugged me. I never received so many hugs in one day, I will never forget that day it was great. I have been Muslim since 1997, I’m at peace with myself and clear in Religion, being Muslim has really changed my life for the better thanks to Almighty God. I received my G.E.D. and work in the computer field.

I had the blessing of being able to perform Hajj (Pilgrimage) to the Holy city of Mecca, it was an experience of a lifetime, about three million people from every race and color in one place worshiping one God. It’s amazing! Alhamdulilla in December of 2002 I got married in Morocco to a very good Muslim woman.

I think that Islam is the answer for the problems of the youth and society in general. I hope my story Insha’Allah (God willing) will attract more Latinos and people of all races to the light of Islam.

Sura 22 - Al-Hajj [The Pilgrimage] Verse 6-6:
6. ذَلِكَ بِأَنَّ اللَّهَ هُوَ الْحَقُّ وَأَنَّهُ يُحْيِي الْمَوْتَى وَأَنَّهُ عَلَى كُلِّ شَيْءٍ قَدِيرٌ

Sura 22 - Al-Hajj [The Pilgrimage] Verse 6-6:
6. This is so, because Allah is the Reality: it is He Who gives life to the dead, and it is He Who has power over all things.


Abdur Rahman
(Formerly ‘Stewart Humes’ Australian Aboriginal)
I would like to go back in time and tell you a little bit about my history.

My culture is one of the oldest cultures in the world. I love creation. The history of aboriginal people, we connect so close to the Earth, that we are like the Earth. In my younger days as a child I grew up knowing about the mysteries and spirits, that everything that is made in creation has a spirit, a formed spirit, that guides it and looks after it and also guides us.
When we walked night and day in the bush or wherever, we knew that there was a spirit, a powerful God, that looked over us, all the time. Then as I grew up I went to high school, was taken away to high school, then I met this other God, same God but in a different form, had to go to Church and pray. I also learnt about racism, I was taken and put in a hostel with about 180 children, 90 boys and 90 girls. It was frightening really in a way because I didn’t know anybody and I didn’t know what to expect, but I stayed there for three years, and in that three years I learnt about God, Jesus and I learnt about other races. I learnt how to be hurtful, I learnt how to make people cry and it was sad really because where I come from, we were all sort of one, the white children and the black children grew up together, sort of as one family.

I left high school and then I went back home. I worked and then I wanted to know God more. I got baptized in the Church of England and I wanted to know more about God, so I read the Bible a bit, and had meetings with people and I still had my Aboriginal God too, spirits, and it was very hard to know that there is this other God, that is the same God you know? Anyway, I went to heaps of Churches. I went to the Catholic Church, the Methodists’ Church, and every Church that came from England, every church that came from America, I was a part of it. I went from one Church to another, trying to find this God. In 1967 I went to the University of Western Australia, that’s where I met Brother Mohammed Rais.

Brother Rais is a Muslim (revert) now. Anyway I knew that I had to find something because I became kind of ruff, for ten years, I became like a madman, I’m only small but I’ve done some things, some real bad things, and I needed to find a God, so I tried again, I went to people, to houses, people would slam doors on your face. I was a person, I had a hard life, I wanted everything to change for myself, so anyway I struggled on in life. I used to read the Bible to people, people used to come to me and ask me questions and I’d be out there talking about God and Jesus and I’d be fighting the next day. I would think why am I doing these things, when I know there’s someone more powerful, a God, that can help me?

So I was like in a washing machine, I was tumbling around, good times then the bad etc. I said I don’t want this, I want more good times in my life. I’d give talks at schools, and I’d tell children what to do and I wanted a better life for myself. So anyway, I met this lady. We were together for a while, then we fought, then we’d get back together again. Then we started looking into Muslims. I was with the lady that I’m now with, and I was going to the Seventh Day Adventist Church, one day a week. Then my family would come along and I’d go to the Jehovah Witnesses. I was a little mixed up as to where I was.

So anyway we went for a drive around and tried to find a Mosque. We went to one Mosque and I think it was the right time for me. We went away and we met another brother. The lady I’m with rang up one Brother and they said “Oh yes come around” so we went around and anyway his sister was home and he said can you wait outside and she’ll talk to your missus. And I thought this was a bit strange, because any other time everybody piles into the house, and don’t care less. Anyway, I was waiting outside. My missus spoke to the lady and her sister and we left. Then we were invited back again, and this time the Brother was there. We spoke to the brother, he was a very nice brother, and he told us as much as he could at that time about Islam, and about being a Muslim. I had about ten cups of tea! It was nice, and his wife was very nice.

So anyway we went to Thornlie Mosque, I was wandering around there and I met this brother and he said “I know you” and I said “You know me” and it was Brother Rais back from university in 1967. He was there. I remember I was at my Mum’s once and she got burnt and she was in hospital and he took me to the hospital to meet her. I nearly cried because he was such a nice person at the university, and I hadn’t seen him for so long, and I met some of the other brothers. I felt good you know, it was all men, ladies were one side and we were just having a yarn.

I’m not trying to put other churches down, but I feel this one. I feel better. When you’ve got the ladies and men altogether, you don’t know what’s going on, a lot of things happen in Churches. When you are with the brothers you know where you are, you find a place where you belong, and I felt that this is what I want, what I need in my life. So I went there for a time, and I said well I want to do this for myself, and I become a Muslim.

In the Quran, I hadn’t forgotten Jesus and the Prophets. I haven’t forgotten the followers of Allah, because they are all still in there. What I read in the Bible is still here in the Quran, and it makes me happy, it makes me feel good.

Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him) is something I need in my life. I read about his life, things he’d done and I feel free now, much freer than I used to feel.

I used to go to the Churches and I don’t know what sort of under arm I used to wear but nobody used to sit next to me. I said “gee” and I felt a little bit shy, but I didn’t worry. I don’t care what people are, I love them, because the Creator made them. He managed to love everybody and if you can’t love somebody with your heart, you can’t love Allah.

Allah created all things for all of us to enjoy, and I love creation.

When I look at creation, I see beauty. I see life. If you laugh with somebody, then someone’s laughing with you.

So I’d like to thank everybody for listening to what I’ve had to say.

Sura 46 - Al-Ahqaf [The Wind-curved Sandhills, The Dunes] Verse 4-4:
4. قُلْ أَرَأَيْتُمْ مَا تَدْعُونَ مِنْ دُونِ اللَّهِ أَرُونِي مَاذَا خَلَقُوا مِنَ الأرْضِ أَمْ لَهُمْ شِرْكٌ فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ اِئْتُونِي بِكِتَابٍ مِنْ قَبْلِ هَذَا أَوْ أَثَارَةٍ مِنْ عِلْمٍ إِنْ كُنْتُمْ صَادِقِينَ

Sura 46 - Al-Ahqaf [The Wind-curved Sandhills, The Dunes] Verse 4-4:
4. Say: "Do ye see what it is ye invoke besides Allah? Show me what it is they have created on earth, or have they a share in the heavens bring me a book (revealed) before this, or any remnant of knowledge (ye may have), if ye are telling the truth!


Latifah Abdullah
Assalam alaikum rahmatullah barakatuh

My name is Latifah Abdullah and I am 29 years old. I’ve been muslimah for almost three years now.
I began to investigate Islam in high school. I was writing a paper on the differences between Islam and the nation of Islam. I didn’t know that there was such a profound difference. Then I read “the message to the black man” by Elijah Muhammad. This book made me a better Christian for a few more years. Then I met my son’s father and husband, and got a renewed interest in Islam. By this time I was twenty-five, pregnant, and wondering what kind of values I would give to my unborn child. I bought myself a Quran and a book on the deen of Islam. I read the Quran out loud to my stomach everyday. I found that the beauty of the message was too beautiful and I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to live up to the ideals that Allah (swt) has set out for us. I was struck by how easy and beautiful the deen is. The language of it held me. I decided to raise my child as a Muslim/Muslimah. I had my baby, a son, and still had not converted. I still read the Quran to him everyday, he was colicky, and the Quran would calm him and put him to sleep. Then on December 26, 1999, I had a dream of being dressed in white on a lush green hillside. My husband was trying to talk to me about one of his friends insulting us because of our beliefs. I told his friend that it was the truth and to be quiet and listen to what the thousands of us were listening to. All of his questions would be answered. It was the Quran being recited in Arabic that was the music in my dream. As I looked to the right, I saw my own personal Quran, shining with a pure light. The more the recitation went on the brighter my Quran glowed. I took this to be my time to come to Islam. I converted (reverted) January 16, 2000. The journey has not always been easy and coming up against traditional attitudes, I have often wanted to rip off my khimar (head covering) and just scream. That never lasts long because I know that Allah (swt) is where all of the answers are. I know that Allah (swt) guided me to the right path and that it is through His Grace that all is possible. I try to answer all questions put to me since 9/11 in a respectful manner, befitting a Muslimah, Islam is a mystery still to those in this country. I would not change a single thing that has happened in my life because all of it brought me to Allah (swt). I just wish we had a larger community here in my town.

Masalam

Sura 20 - Ta-Ha [Mystic letters Ta-Ha] Verse 10-10:
10. إِذْ رَأَى نَارًا فَقَالَ لأهْلِهِ امْكُثُوا إِنِّي آنَسْتُ نَارًا لَعَلِّي آتِيكُمْ مِنْهَا بِقَبَسٍ أَوْ أَجِدُ عَلَى النَّارِ هُدًى

Sura 20 - Ta-Ha [Mystic letters Ta-Ha] Verse 10-10:
10. Behold, he saw a fire: So he said to his family, "Tarry ye; I perceive a fire; perhaps I can bring you some burning brand therefrom, or find some guidance at the fire."


Abdullah J. Armada
Life. The very word conjures up images of events past and present, an infinite phantasmagoria of experiences, memories, and mental predictions, which we all go through.
What exactly is this experience of life? A dare? A quest? A random mix of experiences ending in inevitable, impersonal annihilation? Why does it seem that no matter how hard we’ve tried over the ages, man can’t seem to answer the questions as to where we are from, why we are here, and where we are going? The truth is that humankind has made numerous attempts throughout history to answer these questions and many attempts have come close while others have failed all together. The answer that man has formulated to these questions is religion. Religion and philosophy are attempts to answer these questions in the eyes of humankind. The world today is full of religions and different philosophies, some as old as Hinduism and some as young as Neo-Paganism, and this variety can be confusing to the elite few of my generation who seek the Truth. In an analytical sense, if one were to strip down all the major world religions to their essential core teachings, if one were to eliminate all the superfluous years and centuries of doctrine, dogma, corruption, innovation, etc. one would be left with one pure, pristine answer to the questions posed above. That answer, which everyone seeks, is God. Where are we from? God. Why are we here? God. Where are we going? God. Later, however, there comes another question. Namely, “how do we attain the peace and love we are all searching for?” Well, if the answer to the prior questions is God than it follows logically that in order to achieve the peace and love that God provides one must worship Him correctly. But again we are confronted with the same seemingly unsolvable conundrum, “with so many religions around, how do we know which one is correct?” There is only one answer, one system that has miraculously remained free of the corruption of human hands: Islam. Now, I could of course further elaborate and prove the existence of God, the legitimacy of Islam, etc. but I will opt to leave that for another writing, perhaps, and I will now describe my journey to Islam. I was born and raised as a Roman Catholic and I have attended Catholic schools all of my life, in fact, I still do. By the time I got to eighth grade I decided that the whole Christianity thing wasn’t working for me…call it my pacifistic adaptation of the usual angst-ridden teen rebellion. Essentially, I figured that I had been raised a Christian all my life and thus, in a sense, I had been indoctrinated into Christianity. So, I decided to try something else…some other way of viewing life. In summary, I tried many religions and each one lasted about one year. I was metaphorically caught in the eternal interplay of the spiritual “tennis court” of life. Most recently, I was Buddhist, and contrary to what most people believe, Buddhists do not worship the Buddha…in fact they have no “god”. Well, technically the Buddha never said you couldn’t believe in a “god” he just said it wasn’t required to attain enlightenment. Well, rather than go off on a tangent I will ask the reader to keep the last point in mind. What basically happened was that I started considering the existence of God. After all, it made logical sense to me, though rather than discuss that now, I’ll save it for a later time. Anyway, as I considered God I began to consider Islam because I had always had an incipient interest in Islam. I remember watching a video at school on world religions and I remember being so intrigued by the movements in the prayer, especially sujood…it was beautiful. I remember fighting that feeling inside of myself trying to convince myself that I was happy with the belief system I had. I remember looking at my compass, finding the direction of Mecca, and going through the little parts of the prayer movements that I knew always thinking, “If I were Muslim, this is what I’d do to pray.” I remember sounding out the shahada italicised in my “world religions” book thinking, “This would be what I’d say to become a Muslim.” I couldn’t explain why, but I was drawn to Islam and at the same time I fought that feeling because of fear. After September 11th, my interest was resurrected and with the money I saved I purchased “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Understanding Islam” by Yahiya J. Emerick. The book was amazing as it outlined everything in a comprehensive manner and made me realize that there were many misconceptions about Islam. Later, I purchased “The Meaning of the Holy Qur’an” by Abdullah Yusuf Ali. All this time, my interest in Islam grew and I was drawn even closer to it. Eventually, I called the 1877-WHY ISLAM information line, which I had called many times before. Originally, I was calling to ask a question about a verse I had read but I ended up telling the sister I was speaking to about my interest in Islam and the fear I felt because of my family. In summary, this sister gave me the push I needed to overcome my fear and convert (revert). I am eternally grateful to Allah for having put her in my life to help guide me to Islam. At this point, I can respond with confidence that the search, which I undertook to find the Truth has ended in success because the whole Truth, the whole culmination of my search can be summed up in one statement: Ashahadu an la ilaha illa Allah wa Ashahadu anna Muhammadun abduhu wa rasulu. I testify that there is no god but ALLAH and I also testify that Muhammad is His slave and messenger.

Sura 27 - An-Naml [The Ant, The Ants] Verse 2-2:
2. هُدًى وَبُشْرَى لِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ

Sura 27 - An-Naml [The Ant, The Ants] Verse 2-2:
2. A guide: and glad tidings for the believers,-


My Conversion Unto Him
Aaron Haroon Sellars
Why did I accept Islam? This is a question that I have been asked many times by others, and a question that I have asked myself many times.
Firstly, it was the Will of God because it is He that changes hearts and guides someone to a way that is straight! Secondly, because I was looking for the truth, the real truth and nothing but the truth! Thirdly, because there were doctrinal elements in my previous religion of Christianity that at first hearing seemed acceptable but when reflected, analyzed, and prayed upon, proved to be not only unacceptable but also contradictory, inconsistent, and even blasphemous! But why ISLAM? Why, when I was looking for the real and whole truth did God guide me to Islam and not to one of many religions available to man or just another branch of Christianity? The answer to this important question was to unfold as I took my first steps towards my spiritual quest.

The basic seed of God-consciousness was implanted in me from birth, but my soul was moulded to the teachings of the Christian church. My religious upbringing was never something that was forced, nor was it just occasional or just habitual. It seemed to be a natural and essential part of the fibre of my family. One of my fondest childhood memories till this day is of my mother reading me Bible stories every Sunday. But when I reached my teens and especially when I entered college, that spiritual nurturing became tainted more and more.

The college scene is where most people of religious background either completely abandon that upbringing or like in my case, just put it on pause. It’s really hard not to when you are surrounded by co-ed dorms, open promiscuity, easy access to alcohol, 24 hour parties, and curfew-free nights. There weren’t any churches around campus that I was interested in so my Sundays began to feel like any other day of the week. While in college I experienced many things and learned many lessons of life but one particular experience had brought me right to the edge of cliff of death! The situation was so unexpected so shocking, so overwhelming, that I honestly felt that the only solution was suicide. It took someone whom I had known for just a little while, breaking down and crying when he realized what I was about to do, for me to just pause and think. I thought that something was truly wrong if this guy had a higher value for my life than I did. As I stood there, I never felt so empty in my life. There was the big void where my soul was supposed to be and I felt like Moses (pbuh) and his followers being chased by the enemy from all sides only to be confronted by the impassable Red Sea! I realized that it was time to make the call they had made. The call of faith-the call of God!

I decided to return to the church of my youth, a Baptist church in Washington D.C. I heard that there was a new pastor preaching there that was thorough and I decided to try him out. Praise God, the preacher was young, dynamic, and effective. He really made the Bible come to life in his sermons and made living for God seem real and worthwhile. Coming from the position of a person who was ready to kill himself, these messages were beginning to fill my emptiness and make me want to live and give life another chance. I remember the nervous excitement of accepting the call to new membership at church and the newness and freshness of being dipped into the water at my baptismal ceremony. I felt reborn! Clean! With the lips I accepted Jesus (pbuh) as my “lord and saviour” but deep down in my heart, I was just reaccepting the reality of God in my life! As I went deeper in my walk of faith the problem that had almost caused me to slay myself vanished like an illusion! Like it was only there to make me turn to my Creator! This gave me a new drive, motivation, and a sense of purpose. I became very active to the extent of encouraging a few of my friends to join the church. I would watch and listen to the pastor in awe, day dreaming of becoming one myself. I honestly felt that the best thing to do for a living would be to help people turn to God. Something that had proven to be so successful in my life. But at the same time I was always very open-minded, especially when it came to spiritual truth, I think this is what made me a vessel to receive the full truth, in Islam.

After a while I began a private hobby of studying world religions. The first book I read, “The Religion of Man”, was actually one that I had borrowed from a friend. The first chapter I read was the chapter on Islam and it was a tremendous surprise! It began with a little Arabian history and a biography of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) followed by an explanation of the basic tenants and doctrines of Islam. I could not believe the similarity and relationship that it had with Christianity. It wasn’t some foreign religion made up by some foreign man who worshipped some foreign God. It was the true Abrahamaic (pbuh) religion, revealed through a man whose very lineage traced back to Abraham’s (pbuh) first son Ishmael (pbuh) who worshipped the same one true God. This further fed my curiosity and interest in Islam. I had decided to keep myself open so I also read the history and doctrines of Buddhism, Hinduism, Judaism, Native American spirituality, and other smaller religious sects, cults, and movements. Buddhism seemed to renounce the world too much yet was not clear on the afterlife. In Hinduism the worship seemed too loose and unfocused with it’s great deity residing in many reforms, Judaism seemed basically true but had had too much of a racial bias, and Native American to vary by the tribe. Islam was the only one whose theology and practices seemed truly universal. The information that I had gathered so far was not enough to make me want to change my religion but that was soon to change when I came into contact with the Qur’an!

I was working at a music store where a young woman used to come to the store with whom I used to have general conversations and on one occasion happened to bring up the topic of Islam. I then found that she was a Muslim and she told me that I could get more information on Islam at a little session that her father helped teach with some other Muslim. I was both nervous and excited at my first visit but it was my first time being around real Muslims! I was initially impressed by the racial variety, the simple environment, and the warm humbleness of the attendants. They answered a few basic questions of mine but I was there mostly to listen. When it was prayer time, I quietly watched from a distance with a smile. Seeing all the men, women, and children bow in unison and put their faces flat against the ground in prayer seemed a little strange and funny, yet so humble, so unified, and so natural. It seemed like this was the ultimate way that we as God’s creations were supposed to pray. I recalled in my mind accounts in Bible of other prophets like Abraham, Moses, and Jesus (pbuh), throwing themselves to the ground in humility and prayer to God yet this is not the way we prayed in church as “Christians”, but the Muslims did! Jesus (pbuh) told us to greet each other by saying “Peace be with you”, yet we Christians didn’t do this. It was the Muslims who greeted each other saying “As-Salaamu Alaikum” which means “Peace be with you”. In Christianity only “orthodox” nuns covered their heads and bodies, but this was a standard practice of modesty, chastity and humbleness for millions of practicing Muslim women who were interactive members of the society. It wasn’t something reserved for the “orthodox”. I left that little session engulfed in a maze of thoughts.

When I saw my Muslim friend at the music store again I thanked her and told her how wonderful it was and that I was sure to return. She then asked me if I had a Qur’an yet. I said “No”. I thought that the Qur’an was only in a foreign language and that I couldn’t read it but she said that she would give me an English translation from the original Arabic. I gladly accepted the offer and was even more excited when I received it! “WOW! My first real Qur’an”. I couldn’t wait to start reading it. The first thing I did was to look up Jesus(pbuh) in the index and look up every verse it listed under his name. This was the prophet that I was raised on and was dear to me so I had to know what God had revealed in this book about him. If it degraded, ridiculed, or rejected him in any way I was going to close the book and leave Islam alone. I agreed when I read that God was not three in one but one in an exclusive and unique sense. I agreed even when I read that Jesus (pbuh) was born of a virgin but was not God’s “Son”. When I was studying idioms in ancient Hebrew and other Semitic languages “Son” meant nearness and was used in the old testament in reference to other people and prophets, the term “Son of God” meant one who was near and closely attached to God, as the term “Son of man” meant one near and close to man. Incidentally, the use of the term “Son of man” outnumbers the use of the term “Son of God” in reference to Jesus (pbuh). Even though, in the Qur’an Jesus (pbuh) was always referred to as the “Son of Mary”. God revealed that the birth of Jesus (pbuh) was like that of Adam (pbuh)-He merely said “BE” and “He was”, and Adam had neither a physical father or mother and no one worshipped him as the “Only Begotten Son of God”! I agreed when I read that Jesus(pbuh) was not God in human form but a human prophet that was created by God, sent by God and who himself needed, depended on, feared, and prayed to God. I agreed when I read that the Jews had no victory in killing him and that God raised him to Himself. But when I read that they also did not crucify him I was in shock! The impact of the 157th verse in the 4th chapter of the Qur’an was to dramatically change my life from that point on!

I’m not one to just accept something right away or to just reject something right away. I investigate. In the day I would reflect on that one verse, and at night I would pray over it. I would beg God in tears to show me in a dream what actually happened in detail to Jesus (pbuh) if he was not crucified. What was real? What was false? I wanted to know badly. I was looking hard. Examining, searching, debating. The soul was the most important thing in the world to me and mine was on a quest. I always wanted to know my Creator and serve my Creator but I wanted to make sure that I knew Him the right way and I wasn’t going to let up until I found what I felt was the right path.

When I finally stopped waiting for that big dream and asked myself “Well, what does this word crucifixion mean for the Christian?”. For the Christian this word meant salvation! Salvation meaning the deliverance from the penalty of sin which was spiritual death in Hell. It also meant success in this life and the next. To me this is the vital thing that religion must give man or else it is useless. To say that if Jesus (pbuh) was not crucified, there’s no way that God Almighty could forgive His beloved mankind did not sound right. Jesus(pbuh) was very dear to my heart and to think that the Loving, Forgiving God sent him on earth only to be murdered for an innumerable mass of sins that he himself never committed did not seem fair or even sensible. If God could create the whole universe by saying “Be” and “IT WAS” then why couldn’t He do the same for the tiny littler sinner who is admitting his guilt and asking Him for forgiveness? Why couldn’t He say to the person “Be forgiven” and he or she is forgiven? Why was the murder and blood of an innocent man a necessity for this forgiveness? I said to myself, “If this book can map out a plan of salvation that has nothing to do with murder or blood then I will submit to God and His plan”.

This made me deeply review my Bible and try to find what was essential necessity for salvation. The Jews and the Muslims never put anything in between them and their prayer to God so why did the Christians? There was nothing in between Adam and God, or Abraham and God, or Moses and God, or David and God, or Jesus and God! God had taught through the Bible that a person was individually responsible for his sins and that no one else could pay for or be penalized for them. Jesus(pbuh) was preaching repentance and telling people that their sins were forgiven before this supposed crucifixion! So why all of a sudden was the blood of one martyr necessary for humanity to be forgiven? This issue of sacrifice, blood, and forgiveness seemed to be summed up in just a few verses in the Holy Qur’an.

Concerning sacrifice chapter 22:37, had the answer, “It is not their flesh nor their blood that reaches God, it is your piety that reached Him. He has made them (animals) subject to you, that you may glorify God for His guidance to you”. Concerning sin and forgiveness God revealed in chapter 12:87, “No one despairs of God’s mercy except those who have no faith”. Also, in chapter 39:53 “do not despair of God’s mercy for God forgives all sins. He is indeed OFTEN Forgiving and Most Merciful”. I found exacting parallels in the Bible in Psalms 30:5, 32:5, 62:1-2, 1st Samuel 15:22-23, Luke 15:7-10, Ezekiel 18:20-35, Isaiah 12:2-3, and Luke 7:47-50, 10:25, 18:24, and many others if you just look them up and reflect. When I read in the Qur’an in chapter 10:57, “O mankind! There has come to you a direction from you Lord and a healing for the diseases in your hearts - and for those who believe, A Guidance and a Mercy!” I said to myself “This is it. This IS THE WORD OF GOD!!”

My Muslim Friend from the music store had shown me a mosque that to my surprise was 10 minutes away from my home! On my second visit to the mosque, I declared my faith in 1994 and stated that “There is no God worthy to be worshipped except the ONE, Most High God or Allah. That Muhammad (pbuh) is His Last Messenger to mankind. That the Qur’an is the last revealed and written will and testament of Allah to and for mankind to follow until the Day of Judgment”. I had finally come home and found peace! As I gradually built my faith and practice in ISLAM, I found that Islam was not the religion of killers and terrorists! It is the true religion of humankind, nature and all creatures seen and unseen. Islam is by name the religion of those who seek peace and success through obedience and submission to the will of Allah! I had found the path to success, the path to true salvation! Allah in the revelation of the Qur’an has refocused all forms of worship, prayer, fear and thanx to Him and Him alone! You are High, Lord of all creations, and has reminded mankind and all creations of their true place-dependent and subservient to Allah and Allah alone!

Sura 2 - Al-Baqara [The Cow] Verse 149-149:
149. وَمِنْ حَيْثُ خَرَجْتَ فَوَلِّ وَجْهَكَ شَطْرَ الْمَسْجِدِ الْحَرَامِ وَإِنَّهُ لَلْحَقُّ مِنْ رَبِّكَ وَمَا اللَّهُ بِغَافِلٍ عَمَّا تَعْمَلُونَ

Sura 2 - Al-Baqara [The Cow] Verse 149-149:
149. From whencesoever Thou startest forth, turn Thy face in the direction of the sacred Mosque; that is indeed the truth from the Lord. And Allah is not unmindful of what ye do.


Abdul-Lateef Abdullah (Steven Krauss)
My journey to Islam - How Malay martial arts led a theologically dissatisfied American Protestant to Islam.
My experience in Islam began as a graduate student in New York City in 1998. Up to that point in my life, for 25 years, I had been a Protestant Christian, but had not been practicing my religion for quite some time. I was more interested in “spirituality” and looking for anything that didn’t have to do with organized religion. To me, Christianity was out of touch and not relevant to the times. It was hard for me to find anything in it that I could apply to my everyday life. This disillusion with Christianity led me to shun everything that claimed to be organized religion, due to my assumption that they were all pretty much the same, or at least in terms of their lack of relevance and usefulness.

Much of my frustration with Christianity stemmed from its lack of knowledge and guidance around the nature of God, and the individual’s relationship to Him. To me, the Christian philosophy depends on this rather bizarre intermediary relationship that we are supposed to have with Jesus, who on one hand was a man, but was also divine. For me, this difficult and very vague relationship with our Creator left me searching for something that could provide me with a better understanding of God, and our relationship to Him. Why couldn’t I just pray directly to God? Why did I have to begin and end every prayer with “in the name of Jesus Christ?” How can an eternal, omnipotent Creator and Sustainer also take the form of a man? Why would He need to? These were just a few of the questions that I could not resolve and come to terms with. Thus, I was hungry for a more straightforward and lucid approach to religion that could provide my life with true guidance, not just dogma that was void of knowledge based in reason.

While in graduate school I had a Jewish roommate who was a student of the martial arts. While I was living with him he was studying an art called silat, a traditional Malaysian martial art that is based on the teachings of Islam. When my roommate would come home from his silat classes he would tell me all about the uniqueness of silat and its rich spiritual dimension. As I was quite interested in learning martial arts at the time, I was intrigued by what I had heard, and decided to accompany my roommate to class one Saturday morning. Although I did not realize it at the time, my experience in Islam was beginning that morning at my first silat class in New York City back on February 28th, 1998. There I met my teacher, Cikgu (which means teacher in Malay) Sulaiman, the man who would first orient me to the religion of Islam. Although I thought I was beginning a career as a martial artist, that day back in 1998 actually represented my first step toward becoming Muslim.

From the very beginning I was intrigued by silat and Islam and began spending as much time as possible with my teacher. As my roommate and I were equally passionate about silat, we would go to my teacher’s house and soak up as much knowledge as we could from him. In fact, upon our completing graduate school in the spring of 1998, upon his invitation, we spent the entire summer living with him and his wife. As my learning in silat increased, so did my learning about Islam, a religion that I had hardly any knowledge of prior to my experience in silat.

What made my orientation to Islam so powerful was that as I was learning about it, I was also living it. Because I studied at the home of my teacher, being in the presence of devout Muslims allowed me to be constantly surrounded by the sounds, sights and practices of Islam. For as Islam is an entire lifestyle, when you are in an Islamic environment, you cannot separate it out from everyday life. Unlike Christianity, which lends toward a separation between daily life and religion, Islam requires its’ followers to integrate worship of Allah into everything we do. Thus, in living with my teacher, I was immersed in the Islamic deen (lifestyle) and experiencing first-hand how it can shape one’s entire way of life.

In the beginning Islam was very different and powerful to me. It was also very foreign in many ways and the amount of discipline it requires was difficult to understand. At the time I was liberal in many ways, and was used to shunning anything dogmatic or imposed, regardless of where it came from! As time went on, however, and my understanding of Islam grew, I began to slowly see that what seemed to be religious dogma was really a lifestyle put forth to us by our Creator. This lifestyle, I would later learn, is the straight path to true contentment, not just the sensual and superficial way of life that my society and culture promote. I realized that the question is quite simple actually. Who could possibly know better what the best way of life is for human beings than the all-wise Creator?

From that first silat class in New York City to the day I took my shahadda, July 30, 1999, I had undergone a thorough self-examination that was comprised of two major processes. One was to question the culture of the society I was brought up in, and the second was to question the role I wanted religion to play in my everyday life. As for my culture, this one was not as difficult as most people would think.

American culture is highly influential on how we see life because it constantly bombards us with sensual gratification aimed at appealing to our worldly desires. In America happiness is defined by what we have and consume, thus, the entire culture is geared toward the marketplace. Unless we are removed from this type of environment it is difficult to see it’s drawbacks, which are based on worshipping and putting faith in everything but God, the only One that can provide us with real, lasting contentment in our lives.

Being a social scientist by trade, much of my professional time is spent trying to address the social ills of our society. As I learned more about Islam, I came to the conclusion that many societal ills are based on unhealthy social behaviour. Since Islam is a lifestyle focused totally on the most healthy, positive way of conducting our lives in every setting, then it is, and will always be, the only real answer to any of society’s social dilemmas. With this realization, not only did I decide that Islam was relevant to my everyday life, but I began to understand why it is so different from other religions. Only Islam provides knowledge and guidance for every aspect of life. Only Islam provides a way to achieve health and happiness in every dimension of life – physical, spiritual, mental, financial, etc. Only Islam provides us with a clear life goal and purpose. And only Islam shows us the proper way to live in and contribute to a community. Islam is what everyone needs, and what so many who have not found it yet, are searching for. It is the path to purpose, meaning, health and happiness. This is because it is the straight path to the source of truth and real power – Allah.

It was only until I actually became Muslim that I realized just how encompassing the Islamic lifestyle is. Literally everything we do has one underlying purpose – to remember Allah. The lifestyle provides us with the way – not just the understanding – but an actual method of constantly remembering our Creator in as simple an act as greeting someone, or getting dressed in the morning, or waking up from sleep. Islam shows us that by remembering Allah, everything we do becomes focused on Him, and thus becomes an act of worship. From this, our energy, our thoughts, and our actions all become redirected away from unhealthy and useless causes, and focused on the source of all goodness. Thus, we are continuously tapping into His divine strength, mercy and grace. So, by remembering Allah constantly, we become stronger and healthier in every aspect of our lives and not distracted by self-defeating thoughts and behaviours.

There still remain some minor aspects of Islam that have proven to be somewhat difficult adjustments for me. Nevertheless, I thank Allah everyday for the ease to which he has allowed me to make the necessary changes in my life so that I can continue to live in America and still be, Insha-Allah, a good Muslim. As a white, middle-class American, many cultural aspects of Islam are quite different from the way in which I grew up. In fact, when I finally broke the news to my family that I had become Muslim, almost all of their questions and concerns were related to cultural differences – marriage, social life, family, etc. They were much less concerned about my general beliefs about God and religious practice. For my family, friends, and co-workers, becoming Muslim was not seen necessarily as a negative change, but it has required a great deal of education about Islam.

Because acquiring knowledge is a critical component to a Muslim’s development, having a teacher who has taught me how to apply Islam in everyday life has made all the difference in managing whatever difficulties I have experienced from my reversion. Having someone knowledgeable you can turn to whenever you have questions is a wonderful support that every new shahada should go out of their way to find. Islam is not a religion that can be rationalized, in the way that Christianity and Judaism are. It is a clear path that must be followed just as

Allah has laid out for us through the Qur’an and the lives of our beloved Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.), his companions, and the saints of Islam.

In this day and age, in this society, discerning the path can often be difficult, especially when we are constantly faced with questions and doubts from people who on the surface may not be hostile to Islam, but whose general lack of faith can have a harmful effect on someone who bases everything they do on their love for Allah. It is also not easy being in an environment where we are constantly bombarded with sensual temptations that are seen as ordinary, common aspects of everyday life. But when we have the support of a knowledgeable, experienced teacher, who is able to apply the universal teachings of Islam to his life, then the truth becomes clear from error, exactly how Allah (SWT) describes in the Qur’an. From this, we are able to understand how to apply Islam correctly to our own lives, and Insha-Allah receive Allah’s many blessings. The ultimate test, however, of anyone who claims to have true and right knowledge, is to look at how they apply it in their own lives. If their actions support their teachings, then and only then should we look to them for guidance.

My journey to Islam has been a life-altering experience. It is one that with every passing day, makes me more and more appreciative and thankful to Almighty Allah. The extent of His mercy can only fully be understood from the perspective of a Muslim – one who prostrates regularly and submits their will to that of the Creator.

I look back at my life prior to Islam and reflect on the different ways I sought guidance. I think back to all the different ideas I once had of who God really is, and how we can become close to Him. I look back now with a smile and perhaps even a tear because now I know the truth. Through Islam, I know why so many people who do not believe have so much fear inside them.

Life can be very scary without God. I know, because I once harboured that same level of fear. Now, however, I have the ultimate “self-help” program. It’s the self-help program without the self. It’s the path that puts everything is in its proper place. Now, life makes sense. Now, life is order. Now, I know why I am here, where I want to go, what I want my life to be, how I want to live, and what is most important not just to me, but to everyone. I only hope and pray that others who have not found the path yet, can feel the same that I do. Ya arhama rahimeen wal hamdulillahi rabbil aylameen

Sura 3 - Aal-E-Imran [The Family of Imran] Verse 96-96:
96. إِنَّ أَوَّلَ بَيْتٍ وُضِعَ لِلنَّاسِ لَلَّذِي بِبَكَّةَ مُبَارَكًا وَهُدًى لِلْعَالَمِينَ

Sura 3 - Aal-E-Imran [The Family of Imran] Verse 96-96:
96. The first House (of worship) appointed for men was that at Bakka: Full of blessing and of guidance for all kinds of beings:


Abdullah Islam (Formerly ‘Kevin Combes’ Was a Born Again Christian)
To explain to you why I chose Islam, I have to go back before Islam and I was born into a Catholic Protestant family, my Father was Catholic my Mother was Protestant but as my Father ruled the house it was a Catholic family.
Now I rejected the Catholic belief at a young age and from then I basically rebelled against this strict lifestyle that I was brought up in. From there I ended up on the streets, doing drugs, all messed up drinking alcohol totally shot. I was dragged out of the gutter by a man who trained me to be a weight lifter, gave me pride back into myself and told me while I was training my body I had to seek a spiritual path as well because physically it’s not enough there must also be a spiritual part of your life. So from there I went on a journey searching all the different faiths and I ended up being a born again Protestant Pentecostal Christian, preaching Jesus to everyone and anyone who would listen and who wouldn’t listen, basically I became a Bible basher.

So from there I traveled overseas, preaching Jesus, and telling people how Jesus could change their lives, save their life and the whole thing, and I used to debate scripture with people. One brother, a Christian brother, who I led to Jesus come up against me in a debate just at work. He was going on about the Trinity and he pointed out to me a simple thing that the Holy Trinity didn’t come about until 325 years after the death of Christ. Ok that’s 325 years after the death of Jesus and the resurrection to some people. It was a political move by emperor Constantine at the first council of Nicaea (325 AD) to unite the Romans and the Christians together to give him a power base, he basically decreed that Jesus was God and the Roman Sun Gods, because what happened was basically that Greek Roman mythology took over Christianity; Christianity did not take over Greek Roman mythology. The Roman Sun God’s birthday, which was the 25th December became Jesus’ birthday. The Roman’s Sunday became the holy Sabbath, also the counsel agreed that Jesus was the Son of God, the only begotten Father, the very God of the very God. And it also declared the Trinitarian concept, the official doctrine of the Pauline Church, which is basically the Roman Catholic Church. Now if you understand the Roman Catholic Church and the Protestant church, all the scriptures came from the Catholic Church, so all the canonical Gospels were in hands of the Catholics originally. They made the Gospels of Mathew, Mark, Luke and John, the only four Gospels. After that they went about destroying all the Hebrew Scriptures, there were over three hundred of them, written in the original Hebrew text and many of them were eyewitnesses accounts. So from there in 380 Emperor Constantinople of Rome made the Trinitarian base of belief, the Catholic faith obligatory to all his subjects, and it’s been that way since. That’s why Rome is the head of the faith. In 381 the counsel of Constantinople attended by 186 Bishops completed the three present head of the Trinity, and they added the God head of the Holy Spirit, and then from there in 381 Emperor Theodosius threatened to punish all that did not believe in the doctrine of the Trinity. That’s why we have the basic Trinitarian doctrine of all Christian faiths today, except for a few who believe that Jesus was not God, Jesus was a Prophet of God, a messenger of God, similar to Islam. Now the implications of the Trinitarian doctrine are truly obvious, they have nothing to do with the original teachings of Jesus, so for me that was a major, major turning point in my Christian faith, because if Jesus didn’t become God until 325 years after his death, what can I say, simple, you know this is a man made thing.

So I went about while I was preaching Christianity, I was going to preach Christianity to the Muslims. That was my intention, and I started learning about Islam. You go to any Christian bookshop and you will find a whole shelf on Islam. You go to any Islamic bookshop or center you won’t find anything about Christianity. Well the Christians were too busy worrying about the Muslims and the Muslims were too busy getting on with their business. They’re not worried about Christians, honestly the Christians think that the Muslims want to take over the world and that they want to invade this country, and that they want to do all these crazy things; they think that they’re storing guns underneath their Mosques, I assure you I’ve been to every Mosque in Perth and there are no guns. They’re not terrorists, I don’t know a single terrorist. I have never met one, I don’t know any, I don’t know any with those views.

So as I went about studying Islam, while I was a Christian, I could see the similarities between Islam and the Bible. Many of the teachings in the Bible were not necessarily the words that were originally said, it was the actions. Like Moses, being told to take off his shoes when he entered Holy ground, now never once did I take off my shoes when going to Church. No one did. But yet you go to a Mosque and everyone takes off their shoes, for it is Holy ground. Moses on his knees before God, Now Brothers and Sisters of Islam forgive me if I do not say Allah, but I’m talking to the Christians, and I’ll just use the word God. Because Christians have a tendency to believe that they have their God, and then Allah is a totally separate God, but he is not, he is God. Allah means, the one true God. So God being the One true God, the Creator of the heavens and the earth, the Creator of all things, the Creator of you. Moses was on his knees before God, Daniel on his knees before God, Abraham on his knees before God, Jesus (peace be upon Him) on his knees before God. You go to any Mosque, they are all on their knees before God, Brother and Sisters. I go to a Church, we’re all dancing around in front of a band, like a rock and roll concert, waving our hands about in the air, this is not worship. This is rock and roll. Job accepting the will of God, good or bad. Read your scriptures, understand them, look at them. Pray morning, noon and night, the only time we prayed was going to Church on Sunday, you walk around talking, if you’re talking to God, you should have a true fear of God, understanding of him, who is the Creator, be down upon your knees, have your head in the sand.

To me these were all the things that I could see were not happening in the Church, but were happening in the Mosques; was happening in Islam. In I Thessalonians 5:17 it says pray without ceasing. Now I prayed in tongues, a gift from the Holy Spirit, this is babble, nothing more than babble. In Islam there is a prayer when you walk in through the door, a prayer when you walk out through the door, there is a prayer when you walk into the toilet, a prayer when you walk out, a prayer when you hop in your car, a prayer when you hop out, a prayer for everything. In Islam you pray without ceasing, every action in your life is dedicated to Allah (God). The reverence and the respect of God is not a circus act, hyped up by music and rock and roll bands. Playing and being told that the presence of God was in the place because we were all hyped up on this great music, in anointing of God simply meant that the band was playing all together, because when the band wasn’t playing, the anointing wasn’t going too well.

Now last time I spoke, I said what was Ishmael’s crime, I didn’t get to go into detail then, so now I’ll go into detail. What was Ishmael’s crime? As a Christian I was told it didn’t matter if my Mother was a prostitute, a drug addict, my father was a derelict or what ever, I accept that God accepts me, I bow down to God, I believe in God that if I totally accept him he will accept me, that it doesn’t matter where I’ve been or what I’ve done.

Yet in the Old Testament Ishmael was rejected because he was the son of a slave woman, according to the Old Testament. As the son of a slave woman, the promises of God were not attributed to him, because he was a son of a slave woman, what a contradiction in teachings. So what was his crime? None, he was born to a slave woman, yet he stills loves God, revered God, worshiped God.

I found the Quran to be the most beautiful thing I’d ever heard in the world. I didn’t understand it, but it was beautiful. When I actually read the English text… I can’t put it into words. It has no contradictions, yet the Bible is full of contradictions. Now I’m not beating up on Christianity here, I’m just telling the things that changed my life, and the direction that I was heading.

Islam is a solution to racism. A little story for you folks, Jesus was not White, blonde haired and blue eyed. He was not necessarily black, but he wasn’t white, he was somewhere in between. Equality of the sexes, I love the fact that Islam 1400 years ago made men equal to women, it’s only 50-60 years ago that women in Western countries actually got equal rights, and yet in Islam they always have had equal rights. Islam preaches tolerance of Christians and Jews. Now as a Christian I was told to love, but yet in their actions and in the actions of how we were, the only time we entertained a Muslim, a Jew, a Buddhist, a Hindu is when we were trying to convert them. Now a Muslim will not Bible bash you or should I say Quran bash you, this statement does not exist in Islam, Quran bashing, because they don’t. If you wish to talk about it, they will talk about it, if you ask questions, they will talk to you about it. We as Muslims believe that you will come into the realization yourself, by the guidance of Allah (God).

Ephesians 6:12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood but against principalities against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. All who were not Born again Christians were deceived by the devil and possessed by evil spirits, this is what I was taught.

In Islam we believe that not all Muslims are going to heaven, also that not all Christians and not all Jews will go to heaven; some Muslims, some Christians and some Jews will go to heaven; those who have a love for God and follow his ways and are righteous. But to a Born again Christian all I had to do was accept Jesus, and all my sins were washed away, and I was going to heaven, free ticket. Didn’t matter what I did wrong as long as I pleaded the blood of Jesus over myself, prayed, was repentant was still going to heaven, and everybody else wasn’t going there. Now who am I to make that choice? Who is this doctrine to make that choice? The only choice is by God. He decides who goes to heaven and who doesn’t go to heaven, no one else. And only God can forgive your sins, not a man that became God 325 years after he walked the Earth. God in all of his infinite wisdom and power and glory can forgive your sins, just like that. You don’t need to accept anything; you just need to be repentant. In the Quran it says;

“Who could be better in religion than one who submits his whole self to God, does good and follows the way of Abraham, the true in faith for God did take Abraham for a friend” [4:125]

It explains itself right there. What has happened to me since I have become a Muslim?

I’ve come out of the darkness and into the light; I’m a slave only to Allah. I have complete internal peace beyond all description, that I never found as a Christian.

Now it doesn’t matter if I am going through hassles in my job. Doesn’t matter if I am going through hassles everywhere else. It doesn’t matter if I am being discriminated against, because I am a Muslim, which has happened in this free democratic society that we live in, for I never experienced these things until I became a Muslim. Let me tell you something about discrimination people, you have no idea about discrimination unless you are being discriminated against. You can say “oh no he’s not being discriminated against” or she’s not being discriminated against, because you’re from the outside looking in. But when you are being discriminated against, when you are being harassed, you know it, not necessarily everybody else. Why did I choose Islam? Because I simply cannot deny the truth. Islam is the truth and the truth has set me free. Ash-hadu anlaa ilaha illa allah wa ash hadu anna Muhammadan abduhu wa rasuuluh.

Thank you very much.

Sura 51 - Adh-Dhariyat [The Winnowing winds] Verse 23-23:
23. فَوَرَبِّ السَّمَاءِ وَالأرْضِ إِنَّهُ لَحَقٌّ مِثْلَ مَا أَنَّكُمْ تَنْطِقُونَ

Sura 51 - Adh-Dhariyat [The Winnowing winds] Verse 23-23:
23. Then, by the Lord of heaven and earth, this is the very Truth, as much as the fact that ye can speak intelligently to each other.



Ibrahim
A time comes in everyone’s life, or at least I hope it comes, when they realize that they have to not only believe what they believe in, whatever it may be, but get out there and proclaim it to the world. Luckily, that time came early for me. I am 17, and Islam is the belief that I’m proclaiming.
I was raised Catholic. Not internally as much as externally. I went to Catholic Sunday school, called CCD, but the Catholic view of God never played a major roll in my childhood. It was a Sunday thing. Anyhow, I started to enjoy Mass around 7th grade. It made me feel good to do the right thing. I was always a rather moral person, but I never really studied the fundamentals of Catholicism. I just knew that I felt good worshipping my creator.

I really liked Catholicism, but I always saw it as us (the Catholics) with Jesus worshipping God, not us worshipping God and Jesus as one. I saw Jesus (peace be upon him) as my example on how to be a good follower of and submitter to God’s will, but not as God himself.

Before I was confirmed in 8th grade, in the fall of 1999, I learned a lot about what Catholicism was. The Catholicism of the Church had a lot on viewing Jesus as God in it. Nothing like my “undivided God being worshipped by me with Jesus as an example” train of thought. It was like they just opened up a can of cold, illogical confusion and tried to feed it to me. It didn’t feel right.

I continued with the Catholic church, and kept on worshipping. But I talked to many in the church about my feelings that Jesus wasn’t God but more of a Prophet, an example. They told me that I had to accept him as God and as a sacrifice, and so on. I just wasn’t buying it. I tried to buy it but I guess God withhold the sale for my own benefit. There was a better car out there for me. I continued at the church.

Sometime in mid-December of 1999, for no reason that I can recall I started reading up on Islam in encyclopedias. I remember making a list of bolded words in the entry for “Islam” in an old 1964 Grolier World Book that I found in my closet, and studying them. For some reason I was amazed by this faith and that it was all about God and that it was everything that I believed all my life - right here. Previously, I had accepted that there was no faith like I felt inside of me. But I was amazed that I had found this faith. I found out that “my” faith had a name, and millions of other adherents!

Without ever reading a Qur’an or talking to another Muslim, I said shahada (declaring your belief in no god but God) on 31 December 1999. As the months passed, I learned more. I went through many periods of confusion, happiness, doubt and amazement. Islam took me on an enlightening tour of me, everyone else, and God.

The transition was slow. I was still attending Mass five months into my change of faith. Each time I went, I felt more and more distant from the congregation, but closer and closer to Prophet Jesus and God.

During Ramadan 2001, the second time I fasted (the first year, I converted during Ramadan and did not fast), I went to the library during lunch period. It was better than sitting at a table with my friends, because I got work done in the library. I swear my grades went up. I started talking to the only other Muslim at my school, John. We talked about Islam a little more each day. He’s an awesome brother and he took me to the mosque on the last Friday of Ramadan. Going was one of the best decisions I ever made in my life. God really answered my prayers this time. I thought I would be nervous, but I wasn’t at all. It was the most natural thing I ever did in my life. I felt home. I realized something before leaving. As I sat there on the floor, praying to God, I realized that the room was full of others but it was OK. See, at home when someone asks me what I am doing, I never say I am praying. I never admit it to anyone. It is too awkward. But there, at the masjid, I was praying to God in front of a score of other Muslims and I felt perfectly fine. Better than fine! I felt natural and safe. It was the most liberating thing since I accepted God into my heart that cold New Year’s Eve almost two years ago.

I never told my parents right out. In fact, I don’t plan to. The most significant clue that I gave came around 1:00 AM on 16 December 2001, when I finally told my dad I was going to the mosque in the morning with a friend when he asked me why I was setting my alarm. He chewed me out, to say the least. I never told them straight out because I figured it was best to test the waters by revealing clues bit by bit; I didn’t want to send a shockwave through the family. I can only imagine what my dad would do if he knew I was actually a practicing Muslim. I understand that my dad is a depressed man, so I don’t really hold this all against him. I mean, it is his fault for thinking himself so smart that he doesn’t need God. That thought is what got him so depressed. But I don’t think he realized how hard one’s heart can be when you deny your human need for a relationship with your Creator. So I don’t hold it all against him. He didn’t know what he was getting into. My mom doesn’t know that I am a Muslim, but at least she hasn’t shown her anger over me going to the mosque. As God commands, I’ll continue to try my best to be nice to my parents as long as they don’t attempt to take away my Islam. The best thing that I can do for them is to be a good example so that maybe one day, inshallah, they can see that there is a better way of living than living in the dark world of God-denial.

I’ve never been to the Mid-East, but I am studying Islam every day. I read books from every point of view. Sufi, Shia, Sunni, books on the Qur’an alone... The Muslims view sects as haram, so no matter what you believe you are always a Muslim and nothing extra. You may have completely different views than another Muslim, but as long as you both believe that there is no god but God, you are both Muslims and that’s that. I read a lot on-line, and discuss a lot with other Muslims on-line and on the phone. I’ve met some really great people on-line who have taught me a lot about life, Islam and God.

Right now, I am 100% a Muslim and that will never change, inshallah. I thank God that I’ve gone through so many periods of doubt. When I look back I see that it was not God leaving me but God telling me that it was time that I asked myself how much I loved God, and what I was willing to go through to understand my faith. A week of crying, depression, prayer, reading to the extreme, and ignoring most other things in life sounds harsh...but the reward - knowing so much more about yourself, God, and the relationship between you (Islam) - is worth more than any material things. Through my interrogation of Islam I gained God’s most precious gift - Islam, or surrender to the peace. I’ve heard Christians say that with Christianity you “know God on a personal level.” In Islam, your relationship with God is so much deeper than that. God is with me every moment, guiding me, teaching me, loving me, protecting me, liberating me, enlightening me, comforting me... Alhamdulilah for Islam! Islam has done a lot for me. More than I could have ever guessed. And every day, it just gets better. At first it was like Allah was turning on lights where it was dark. Now, He is shining light into places that I never KNEW were dark! It is just total enlightenment and consolation at the same time I feel like I’m getting the warmest, truest hug. I went from living my life on a trial-and-error basis to embracing guidance, and now knowing what the best choices are for me to make. From seeking who I am and spending a life in confusion, I am being guided. I can’t find the words to say what its like, but I’ll try again: God reveals to me what life is. I don’t have to guess anymore.

Sura 93, “The Morning Hours”

By the morning hours

By the night when it is still

Your lord has not abandoned you

and does not hate you

What is after will be better

than what came before

To you the lord will be giving

You will be content

Did he not find you orphaned and give you shelter

Find you lost and guide you

Find you in hunger and provide for you

As for the orphan, do not oppress him

And one who asks, do not turn him away

And the grace of your lord -- proclaim

That is what I went through, what God did for me - what I am. So here is my proclamation to the world. Islam is more than you think it is, in fact more liberal than most would wish it to be. But do not only listen. Study all views for yourself...and come to your own conclusion. God says “let there be no compulsion in religion” because faith in God is a choice made by the heart, and it can’t be forced.

Sura 2 - Al-Baqara [The Cow] Verse 185-185:
185. شَهْرُ رَمَضَانَ الَّذِي أُنْزِلَ فِيهِ الْقُرْآنُ هُدًى لِلنَّاسِ وَبَيِّنَاتٍ مِنَ الْهُدَى وَالْفُرْقَانِ فَمَنْ شَهِدَ مِنْكُمُ الشَّهْرَ فَلْيَصُمْهُ وَمَنْ كَانَ مَرِيضًا أَوْ عَلَى سَفَرٍ فَعِدَّةٌ مِنْ أَيَّامٍ أُخَرَ يُرِيدُ اللَّهُ بِكُمُ الْيُسْرَ وَلا يُرِيدُ بِكُمُ الْعُسْرَ وَلِتُكْمِلُوا الْعِدَّةَ وَلِتُكَبِّرُوا اللَّهَ عَلَى مَا هَدَاكُمْ وَلَعَلَّكُمْ تَشْكُرُونَ

Sura 2 - Al-Baqara [The Cow] Verse 185-185:
185. Ramadhan is the (month) in which was sent down the Qur'an, as a guide to mankind, also clear (Signs) for guidance and judgment (Between right and wrong). So every one of you who is present (at his home) during that month should spend it in fasting, but if any one is ill, or on a journey, the prescribed period (Should be made up) by days later. Allah intends every facility for you; He does not want to put to difficulties. (He wants you) to complete the prescribed period, and to glorify Him in that He has guided you; and perchance ye shall be grateful.


Muslim woman from Richmond
I am a new Muslim woman from Richmond, VA. I had never even met Muslims before last year, and had no idea that there was an Islamic center in my own city. However, at that time, I was very interested in Islam, but I could find nothing to read. I read encyclopedias and any books I could get my hands on, but they were all written by non-Muslims. They said that Muhammad (saws) wrote the Qur'an in the 7th centruy, that Muslims worshipped the black stone, and that Islam bred hatred towards women. They also said that Muhammad (saws) copied the Bible, that Islam was spread with the Qur'an in one hand and the sword in the other, and implied (if not stated directly) that all Muslims were Arab. One book even said that the word "Allah" came from al-lot, the moon god of the pagan Arabs. These are just some of the lies I read.
Then, one day, two Pakistani Muslim women (who were also muhajjabas [wearing hijab -ed.]) came to my college. I befriended them, and then I started asking them all kinds of questions. I had already left Christianity when I was 12, so I felt no challenge to my personal beliefs. I was a biology major and had basically no religion. I was amazed at what they told me, and I realized that all of my previous knowledge was lies.

Then, I came home for the summer. I got my own apartment and started working at 7-11. While I was working, a black muhajjaba came in the store. I asked her where she worshipped and when she told me there was an Islamic center on the same street I was working on, I was amazed.

I went the next day, but no one was there. So I went the day after that day (which happened to be Friday) and found some people there. A man told me to come the next week at noon so I could meet some of the ladies. But when he said "noon," he meant "dhuhr," not 12. I didn't know that. So I came at 12 the following week, but no one was there. For some reason, I decided to wait, Subhan-Allah. And wait I did, for an hour and a half (jumaa' [Friday prayer -ed.] is at 2), and finally I meet some people. A lady there gave me a copy of Maurice Bucaille's The Bible, Qur'an, and Science. When I read it, I knew that I wanted to become a Muslim. After all, I was a biology major. I knew that the things in the Qur'an had to be from Allah (swt), and not from an illiterate, uneducated man. So I went the next week and took shahaada [i.e. stated and accepted the creed of Islam -ed.]

When my dad found out, he went crazy. He came to my apartment and tore up everything in it, including my Qur'an. I called the police, and they came out. But they refused to help. They said "Don't you think he's right?" and so on. So I fled to Nashville, TN.

I have continued to talk with my dad, though, because the Qur'an says to honour your parents (it does not distinguish between Kaafir and Muslim parents), and because I remember the story of Umar Ibn Al-Khattab (raa). He hated Islam so much that he used to beat his slave girl until his arm grew tired. Al-Hamdu Lillah, Allah (swt) has rewarded me for my efforts. I saw my father for the first time this summer, in full hijaab. He accepted it without too much commentary. I think he realizes now that he can't bully me into renouncing Islam.